Oklahoma Nesties
Dear Community,
Our tech team has launched updates to The Nest today. As a result of these updates, members of the Nest Community will need to change their password in order to continue participating in the community. In addition, The Nest community member's avatars will be replaced with generic default avatars. If you wish to revert to your original avatar, you will need to re-upload it via The Nest.
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Note: This only affects The Nest's community members and will not affect members on The Bump or The Knot.
Our tech team has launched updates to The Nest today. As a result of these updates, members of the Nest Community will need to change their password in order to continue participating in the community. In addition, The Nest community member's avatars will be replaced with generic default avatars. If you wish to revert to your original avatar, you will need to re-upload it via The Nest.
If you have questions about this, please email help@theknot.com.
Thank you.
Note: This only affects The Nest's community members and will not affect members on The Bump or The Knot.
Poll: Who has more power in your relationship?
Yeah, yeah, I know..."we share it 50-50." Nope. Sorry. That's just not possible. Power is most often defined as the ability to recognize your will (i.e., get your way.)
I will fully believe that, at various points in your relationship, the power might shift. But, over the last couple of months, at least, who has gotten their way most often?
I'm not adding a SS category on purpose, but feel free to elaborate below if you'd like.
[Poll]
Re: Poll: Who has more power in your relationship?
Dude, this is hard. I voted him, but really, that's because I can only think of one real conflict where one of us got our way and he won that.
Overall, we're pretty good about finding a middle ground and looking out for each other's wants/needs without it getting to a conflict stage.
Me. All me. I make the decisions financially, I make the decision where we eat, who we go out with, what time/date we are doing things, how we parent B, where we go for holidays/when, what we buy, etc.
I am SO okay with that, and so is he. He loves (we actually talked about this a couple of days ago) that outside of work, he just gets to enjoy being with his family and not having to think much. He is a fun person to be around because he isn't worrying about things around the house or if the mortgage has been paid yet. I love having control and feeling important in that regard--if I weren't here, things wouldn't run.
Now he also isn't an idiot--he could very much take over at any point and do it successfully after figuring out where everything is in the office. We just both recognize that our roles are perfect like this.
I'm definitely the captain of this ship. It's just our natural personality types. I like to be in charge, and DH doesn't. Like BoyMom said, it doesn't mean that he couldn't be---it means that he doesn't like to be.
Since I make 95% of the decisions for us, during the 5% of the time that DH has a preference for something, I almost always give in because I realize it must be really important to him.
It is my personality. I am usually the take charge type. Dh always asks my opinion concerning issues with his job and handling diverse personalities. He has a strong personality too but he knows in the end that I am just more assertive.
It works for us. I usually make decisions rather quickly while dh has to confirm (with various sources) so due to this he usually just issues all matters to me. I like it.
Neither of us have the standard type A personality, but H is definitely more laid back than I am. I bring all of my perfectionist control freak tendencies to the relationship, so I voted me. We are pretty good about discussing all decisions, but I usually get my way, by default, b/c H doesn't get that upset or emotionally invested in most decisions. I tend to be emotionally invested in the type of cereal we buy, so there you go.
Same here.
I'm mainly a follower at work (the leaders have to have someone to lead!), but I'm bossy at home.
I voted H, mostly because he is the financial breadwinner of the household. Because he brings in the larger paycheck, he gets to decide on what and when it's going to be spent. However, I most certainly have input. Although he is paying for the flooring we're getting soon (my Christmas present!), I'm the one that chooses what it looks like.
Most of the other decisions are mutual, like restaurants, going out with friends, etc.
H and I had a funny conversation about this last night. I posed the question to him.
Him: "I don't know....what did you answer?"
Me: "I chose myself. I mean, you pretty much always let me have my way."
Him: "Yeah, I guess I do. But you let me have my way......with you."
Me: "And THAT'S why I have the power."
Ha! This is too funny, and so true (at least in our house!) We're cracking up here!
LOL! That sums us up pretty well too
I completely agree with this!