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WWND? re kid discipline

A major problem I have with N is trying to keep him out of my things in my  bathroom. (Yeah, it's going to be really fun when we down size to an apartment with only one bathroom in a few weeks).  He is constantly trying to get into my stuff:  the make up, my perfume, lotions, fingernail polish. I was on the phone last night for 15 minutes and when I got off, my bathroom was trashed.  Red nail polish and bronze eye shadow everywhere.  Even on the dog.  He completely ruined two bottles of nail polish, three eye shadows, and trashed two bath mats.  It took me almost an hour to get it cleaned up and I ended up just throwing out the bath mats.

I immediately put him in time out.  Made him turn off the movie he was (supposedly) watching. Forced him to endure a body scrubbing to get the nail polish off of him. Stuck him in the bath and sent him to bed early.  Annnnnd... I also told him he has to pay me back for the things he ruined.  Now I'm thinking that part was just dumb.  He doesn't really have any concept of money.   The only way he'll be able to "pay me back" is to give me $20 out of the $100 my dad sends him ever year... ie, he still gets to spend $80 which will still buy him a ton of stuff so whoo-hoo!  Plus by the time he gets that check it will be too far removed from the incident for him to connect it. Or will it?

WWND? 

Re: WWND? re kid discipline

  • Can you take away something tangible he really enjoys and make him "earn it back" over the course of a few days?
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  • I am a big believer in natural consequences, so instead of making him pay you back I would probably make him clean it up.  I know that is even more work because you basically still have to clean up after he is "done" and have to endure the agony of making a kid clean, but I think it is something he can grasp as a consequence.  If I make a mess in my bathroom I have to clean it up, the maid-fairy doesn't come along and take care of it for me.  The goal is that you put in the extra headache a couple times and he doesn't continue to destroy your bathroom for the next year. 

    I don't see anything wrong with using the money to replace the items and telling him so, but I don't know if it will make enough of an impact to get him to think twice before next time. 

    Hopefully you can get your bathroom demon to chill out before you have to share a bathroom with him!  GL!

  • I think it's fine to have him pay you back, but not with grandpa money.  I think he should do some sort of extra chores to make money and pay you back with that rather than with "free" money that just showed up in the mail.

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  • I'd make him go to bed early for several nights, take away some favorite playthings, and no tv for a day or two.  Then again I'm a mean parent. 
  • imageAugustBrideCO:
    I think it's fine to have him pay you back, but not with grandpa money.  I think he should do some sort of extra chores to make money and pay you back with that rather than with "free" money that just showed up in the mail.

    This.

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  • imageAugustBrideCO:
    I think it's fine to have him pay you back, but not with grandpa money.  I think he should do some sort of extra chores to make money and pay you back with that rather than with "free" money that just showed up in the mail.

    I know that V definitely remembers naughty things she has done long after the fact, but she has no concept of money.  I think giving up an important toy or game for a short period would have more of an effect on him than the money - or let him use the money to buy things, but then wait a week before he can have them.

  • I would first make him clean up the mess, that's what I did with G last night when he got water all over the bathroom from his bath. He had to clean it up before he could go put on his pajamas.

    I would also take away a few toys and make him earn them back to pay you back for the items he ruined. I'm a mean mom.

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  • imageAugustBrideCO:
    I think it's fine to have him pay you back, but not with grandpa money.  I think he should do some sort of extra chores to make money and pay you back with that rather than with "free" money that just showed up in the mail.
    I agree.   I have found the best discipline for K is to take things away that she loves.   I have been known to take a favorite toy away and put it on top of the cabinet (where she can see it, but can't get to it) for a week or so.   I have also been known to throw things away (with her watching me do it).

     

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