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Our tech team has launched updates to The Nest today. As a result of these updates, members of the Nest Community will need to change their password in order to continue participating in the community. In addition, The Nest community member's avatars will be replaced with generic default avatars. If you wish to revert to your original avatar, you will need to re-upload it via The Nest.
If you have questions about this, please email help@theknot.com.
Thank you.
Note: This only affects The Nest's community members and will not affect members on The Bump or The Knot.
Baby Nurse?
Has anyone had one?
A close friend said she had one (for 7 weeks, which seems like a long time?) and it was a must have at any cost.
I'm a little dubious as I haven't heard of anyone else having one, and the expense is insane.... but we have no family in the area, and no experience of babies so I figured it was worth looking into before I dismiss it off hand.
Anyone in this area have one? How much was it? Worth it?
For those who didn't have one, did you have help from family? Or was it just you and your SO figuring it out?
What do you think about baby nurses? Detracts from bonding between babies and parents, or invaluable help which helps the bonding process? Colossal waste of money, or worth the investment?
Re: Baby Nurse?
No family, no nurse. I never changed a diaper until milo. Some how it just works out. You just get it. However I see the appeal of the nurse.
But money would be better spent on a housekeeper and cook for the seven weeks.
We have a lot of family around, but no one was really here helping us. People came to visit but not a ton of actual help. That was all by choice, we wanted to do it on our own - if I had needed help I had people to ask. I even sent my H back to work early because I felt like I was delaying the inevitable. I wanted to handle it on my own
That said, I have been around babies my whole life. Not that it is the same as actually having one, but I was pretty comfortable with changing diapers and basic care. BFing was obviously new, but I had great LC's in the hospital and my sisters had all BF'd
I have a friend that had a live-in postnatal doula, which is basically the same thing as a baby nurse. She loved it, when the baby woke up during the night, the doula would get the baby, make the bottle and bring them to the mom. I would imagine you would work out your expectations beforehand
It's not something I personally would do, but I certainly see why people use them
DS 3.12.08
DD 7.11.09
DD 8.01.13
I suppose I could see the appeal. Especially if you had a partner who either wasn't around or was generally a dud, or if you didn't plan on breastfeeding.
But to be honest, the idea of someone beside me or DH around really skeeved me out -- it was our kid, and we needed to do it together. It almost felt like anyone else would be intrusive, if that makes sense.
It is really, really tough, but I also really think it meant so much for DH and I to be in the thick of it together. DS would wake up, DH would change him and bring him to me to nurse. A baby nurse could do that exact same thing, but to me it meant something because DH was in it with me -- even if he was snoring again as soon as the kid latched on.
That being said, there were definitely girls in my breastfeeding group at Center City Pediatrics who raved about some sort of night nurse, so she is out there.
Oh, and ditto the housekeeper. Seriously. Spend that dough on a maid and take-out.
At the end of the day, it really is true that idiots figure out how to change and feed a baby every day -- anyone can do it if it is all they have to worry about. Hire help to take care of the rest.
If you don't end up doing it, definitely get a housecleaner. We had one and it was the best money ever spent. I'm still looking for a good one for our new house...they're all so expensive where we live now.
I too think I would splurge on the housekeeper and take out. You will eventually have to do it on your own eventually when it comes to the baby, so might as well start from the beginning.
I too will be totally clueless when our time comes to have a kid.
tough call- if you have the money to splurge and you are super nervous, i don't see the harm in having a baby nurse for the first week or so. i have known a few people who had them and loved it. eta: worst case, you hire her and then let her go early if you don't think you need her.
i am in favor of doing whatever will make you guys the most comfortable. the more relaxed you and dh are (especially in the beginning) the more relaxed the baby will be- they tend to feed off of your anxiety. ds would increase the crying intesnsity if dh or i got anxious about the situation.
having a cleaning lady and substantial budget for take out would be good too..... if you can split it between shorter time for baby nurse plus the cleaning and take out, that might be the way to go.
the other option is taking one of the longer and more intense baby care classes offered by the hospital. that might help you guys take the edge off and be more confident in your decision.
good luck today! i can't wait to find out who you are.
IMO, the hard part isn't taking care of the baby. The hard part is taking care of yourself and your house while you're trying to take care of the baby. (Unless you're nursing. That's hard.)
Personally, I couldn't wait to get home from the hospital so we could just all be together and bond w/o nurses and lc's and dr's constantly coming in. I would feel weird having someone else taking care of my newborn. That's my job and my husband's job as parents.
We both had local family. They helped by coming over and bringing food, doing light cleaning, and laundry. I had a c-section and couldn't do stairs. After Big Lar went back to work his dad came over and brought me coffee and breakfast/lunch, took care of the dog. That was the biggest help.
SO to make a long story short, it's so worth it to get someone to clean the house and help out there.
maybe the baby nurse also does windows!
I have no idea about such nurses, but I will add that the thing that kept me sane was a mom's group that I joined at the pediatricians office (center city peds). we met for an hour and a half each week for about 10 weeks. I made some good buddies through it too.
So I would suggest that if you don't go the nurse route, to look up new mom's group stuff. I hear a lot about Hall Mercer too (through pennsy hosp).
In all honesty, I think instincts kick in once that baby is home. JEGs and I decided to go it alone the first week and have my mom come in the second week when he went back to work. I was so scared for that first week and I didn't think I would make it to Tuesday without calling my mom in for backup, but it was the opposite. By the second day of the second week, my mom was merely someone to talk to and clean my bathroom.
Plus, those first few weeks, you can't really do all that much "wrong". They sleep wherever, whenever. You hold them. feed them too much, they just puke it back up, lesson learned.
i would like a live in toddler wrangler though.
ditto this. for me, knowing that dh and i were in this together made it more manageable.
i never considered a baby nurse. nms.
plus, eventually you'll have to handle it on your own. so why delay the inevitable?
TJW arrived 7/28/11
If you find one please let me know.
On the topic of the OP, I never knew these nurses existed until recently.Im with the others in feeling that its just too intrusive for me personally. Likewise, Im all for forcing DH and I to figure out how to manage asap rather than have the false sense of a security provided by a nurse. Youre going to go through the "Oh Sh*t, now what do we do?!" moment whether its day 1, day 5 or day 15.
That being said, I probably would look into it just to have information handy if I had a strange complication or particularly difficult c section recovery etc that kept me from being relatively physically capable following L&D. Without family to come by and help it could be tough to manage the first week or so at home if you had a special medical circumstance.