s/o santa post: mission impossible

amandasw · December 2011

this is more of a vent, but seriously, I can't think of anything to get my MIL. I probably complained about this last year and will for the rest of my life. She is so impossible to buy for. The problem: she doesn't want anything. For real. Like, she literally doesn't want/like/need anything. She loves buying us things (which is great), but none of the go-to female gifts, or any for that matter, work (lotion, make-up, perfume, jewelry, food, kitchen things...). I'm totally at a loss.

The *one* thought I had was those candles that sound like a fire, what are those called? I asked H and he was like "I'm not sure if she used candles" WTF? Who doesn't use candles? I might just do that anyway. Where can I get those? She likes sentimental things, but I don't really have any sentimental feelings with her and H is getting tired of it himself. Along those lines he bought her a keychain that you put digital photos in. So right now, that's all she's getting from us unless I think of something :-/

mgoss228 · December 2011

I would give her gifts that had photos of the two of you, and a gift card to one of her favorite stores or restaurants. The gift cards are not sentimental at all, but if you give her something small that's sentimental then you can add the gift card so the gift doesn't seem so small.

My only other idea would be books, if she reads books (and you know what kind she likes) I would get her something new or you know she hasn't read yet.

amandasw · December 2011

mgoss228:
I would give her gifts that had photos of the two of you, and a gift card to one of her favorite stores or restaurants. The gift cards are not sentimental at all, but if you give her something small that's sentimental then you can add the gift card so the gift doesn't seem so small.
My only other idea would be books, if she reads books (and you know what kind she likes) I would get her something new or you know she hasn't read yet.

I've suggested gift cards before (dinner or spa) and H said she wouldn't use them or force us to take them (yes, I've seen her and my H have a war over an envelope of money and hiding it places where the other person would have to take it!!). She then complains about us spending money etc. About the books: she's not a native English speaker, so I wouldn't know how to find something in Korean for her :-/

niq24601 · December 2011

mgoss228:
I would give her gifts that had photos of the two of you

You might have a hard time getting it shipped to you in time, but maybe you can get her a mug/puzzle/something she might use with a photo of you two printed on it?

mgoss228 · December 2011

amandasw:
I've suggested gift cards before (dinner or spa) and H said she wouldn't use them or force us to take them (yes, I've seen her and my H have a war over an envelope of money and hiding it places where the other person would have to take it!!). She then complains about us spending money etc. About the books: she's not a native English speaker, so I wouldn't know how to find something in Korean for her :-/

Eek, that is one hard woman to buy stuff for. How about food? If you are going to see her for X-mas you could make some sort of dish she likes. Or if you are shipping the gifts, maybe some kind of PNW type of food or a giftbasket.

amandasw · December 2011

mgoss228:
amandasw:
I've suggested gift cards before (dinner or spa) and H said she wouldn't use them or force us to take them (yes, I've seen her and my H have a war over an envelope of money and hiding it places where the other person would have to take it!!). She then complains about us spending money etc. About the books: she's not a native English speaker, so I wouldn't know how to find something in Korean for her :-/
Eek, that is one hard woman to buy stuff for. How about food? If you are going to see her for X-mas you could make some sort of dish she likes. Or if you are shipping the gifts, maybe some kind of PNW type of food or a giftbasket.

I know, right?! We are going there for Christmas so I can bring or make something when I'm there. It's almost laughable how difficult this is. For example, bringing food things from the PNW: they live in Alaska, lol. Salmon, Native American things, etc. they already have all that.

I was trying to find some food-type thing to make, but it's hard because she doesn't really eat sweets. Pictures really are all we can think of, it just gets boring and I run out of ways to use them. The puzzle is sort of a fun idea, I'll see how long it would take to get something from Snapfish etc.

karimychel · December 2011

People who repeatedly tell me they don't want/need anything don't get anything.

dreamwinds · December 2011

Is she religious?

Does she have an odd fascination with Swarovski or Mickey Mouse? (I'm trying to think of what I've gotten for my own mom in the last few years.)

jennlin · December 2011

dreamwinds:

Does she have an odd fascination with Swarovski or Mickey Mouse? (I'm trying to think of what I've gotten for my own mom in the last few years.)

my mom (who has similarities with your MIL) loves swarovski (she "got it" from me, though)...maybe a low-key necklace, bracelet, or earrings? i imagine, for her, it wouldn't be an "everyday" thing, but for special occasions, even though it's low-key. or the swarovski yearly ornament...do they do a tree?

i think the candle you're referring to is a "wood-wick" candle...and the "who doesn't use candles" comment? asians..... we don't *really* use candles. i do because i grew up here...my parents do, because i've bought so many candles throughout my years of living with them, that i didn't bring them all with me when i moved out. and they *only* light them when people come over (which for them, is about once a year or less).

and for the pp that mentioned books, and you said you wouldn't find anything in korean.....what about some craft books? or cake decorating? my mom loves browsing my cake decorating books, and you don't need to speak english fluently to understand those books....

amandasw · December 2011

karimychel:
People who repeatedly tell me they don't want/need anything don't get anything.

haha I know, I totally feel the same way. The only thing that keeps me from doing this is that she buys us lots of nice presents and I just can't not get her anything.

But guys! I just ordered a photo puzzle from Snapfish!! (I picked that photo from us in Disneyland with Minnie & Mickey) I had to pay 2-day shipping and it will be cutting it VERY close, but this is a total win.

amandasw · December 2011

jennlin:
dreamwinds:

Does she have an odd fascination with Swarovski or Mickey Mouse? (I'm trying to think of what I've gotten for my own mom in the last few years.)
my mom (who has similarities with your MIL) loves swarovski (she "got it" from me, though)...maybe a low-key necklace, bracelet, or earrings? i imagine, for her, it wouldn't be an "everyday" thing, but for special occasions, even though it's low-key. or the swarovski yearly ornament...do they do a tree?

I have no idea, but I've never seen her wear any kind of jewelry. I did think about maybe also making some kind of ornament because she really likes homemade things.

jennlin:

i think the candle you're referring to is a "wood-wick" candle...and the "who doesn't use candles" comment? asians..... we don't *really* use candles. i do because i grew up here...my parents do, because i've bought so many candles throughout my years of living with them, that i didn't bring them all with me when i moved out. and they *only* light them when people come over (which for them, is about once a year or less).
and for the pp that mentioned books, and you said you wouldn't find anything in korean.....what about some craft books? or cake decorating? my mom loves browsing my cake decorating books, and you don't need to speak english fluently to understand those books....

she doesn't do any crafts or bake, not sure if she'd still enjoy looking at the books, but she'd probably think it was weird. Technically I'm sure I could find books in Korean, I just don't know what kind of books she likes or if she reads much for pleasure. I know she likes watching Korean soap operas :P

karimychel · December 2011

amandasw:
karimychel:
People who repeatedly tell me they don't want/need anything don't get anything.
haha I know, I totally feel the same way. The only thing that keeps me from doing this is that she buys us lots of nice presents and I just can't not get her anything.

My parents are the same way. I tried and tried to find things for them and it was a loss, so they now receive a very nice hand written thank you card.

amandasw · December 2011

karimychel:
amandasw:
karimychel:
People who repeatedly tell me they don't want/need anything don't get anything.
haha I know, I totally feel the same way. The only thing that keeps me from doing this is that she buys us lots of nice presents and I just can't not get her anything.
My parents are the same way. I tried and tried to find things for them and it was a loss, so they now receive a very nice hand written thank you card.

yeah, if I have to go through this every year for the next 20 years, it might come to that

dreamwinds · December 2011

Well... FWIW... (possibly ideas for the future)?

I've gotten my own (very picky, does not want anythnig but gets really sad when we don't give her presents for Christmas or her birthday) mom... things like

Mickey Mouse golf balls off ebay

Mickey Mouse glass figurines

Winnie the Pooh golf head covers

instrument Swarovski ornaments for her tree

last year, I gave up and just got her a pashmina for the wedding

a loose pearl from Tahiti (as part of her Christmas gift this year)

For her birthdays, she really loves James Bond, so I got her the complete collection one year. Maybe your MIL might like dvds of the soap operas she watches? From what I know, Amazon sells them from time to time, or yesasia.com is another source for them.

I commiserate. My mom is impossible to shop for since she likes jewelry but anything she can buy is way out of my price range (plus she's picky), she doesn't use cosmetics or lotions or perfumes. She's not a big fan of candles she hasn't picked out herself. And mostly, cause she already buys things she wants long before I know she's interested in them.

amandasw · December 2011

dreamwinds:
Well... FWIW... (possibly ideas for the future)?

I've gotten my own (very picky, does not want anythnig but gets really sad when we don't give her presents for Christmas or her birthday) mom... things like

Mickey Mouse golf balls off ebay

Mickey Mouse glass figurines

Winnie the Pooh golf head covers

instrument Swarovski ornaments for her tree

last year, I gave up and just got her a pashmina for the wedding

a loose pearl from Tahiti (as part of her Christmas gift this year)

For her birthdays, she really loves James Bond, so I got her the complete collection one year. Maybe your MIL might like dvds of the soap operas she watches? From what I know, Amazon sells them from time to time, or yesasia.com is another source for them.

I commiserate. My mom is impossible to shop for since she likes jewelry but anything she can buy is way out of my price range (plus she's picky), she doesn't use cosmetics or lotions or perfumes. She's not a big fan of candles she hasn't picked out herself. And mostly, cause she already buys things she wants long before I know she's interested in them.

thanks! I'll ask H if he knows which soap operas she likes and maybe we can do that for her birthday or something. It's doubly hard because I just don't know her very well so I don't have many ideas for personal things. thanks for the brainstorming

babyaustin725 · December 2011

My dad is JUST like this. It is so frustrating. Last year, he was visibly disappointed by his gifts from us. This year when I asked him for a list, he did actually give me two suggestions. Maybe if you give her a crap-tastic gift, she'll try harder to give you some suggestions. Sorry. I know it's super difficult.

amandasw · December 2011

babyaustin725:
My dad is JUST like this. It is so frustrating. Last year, he was visibly disappointed by his gifts from us. This year when I asked him for a list, he did actually give me two suggestions. Maybe if you give her a crap-tastic gift, she'll try harder to give you some suggestions. Sorry. I know it's super difficult.

hahaha

Johlise · December 2011

You are thinking of a Wood Wick candle.

KST_ · December 2011

Well, for the future, what about just making a donation to a charity in her name? Any subject that's close to her interests? (children = education, schools, healthcare; animals, etc)

amandasw · December 2011

KST_:
Well, for the future, what about just making a donation to a charity in her name? Any subject that's close to her interests? (children = education, schools, healthcare; animals, etc)

this isn't a bad idea, she's a very giving person. I'll ask H about it!

s/o santa post: mission impossible

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