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Hmmm... what would YOU think?
Most of you might know this, but MH's sister passed away in Feb 2009 from an aneurysm. Her birthday was Dec 8th. We miss her all the time-- whenever the family is together, holidays, her birthday, etc. So there is a part of me that thinks maybe my MIL is just missing her daughter and reacting to that by making a point of letting MH know how much he is loved, but part of me wonders if that is really the case:
My MIL sent a Christmas card to the house, addressed only to MH and inside, the card just says the typical "I love you, Merry Christmas" stuff. Addressed (again) only to MH.
If that is NOT the case, however (MH is calling his other sister to see if she got a card and if that card is addressed only to her), I'm going to be annoyed. Not surprised. Just annoyed. And resolved to no longer give a flea on a rat's patootie about anything to do with her; I'll simply do the barest minimum that will not be awkward for MH.
I am really starting to wish MH was an orphan...
Me:37 MH:38
TTC since Oct 2011
BFP/Beta#1: 13 6/20/12; Beta#2: 20 6/22/12;
MC/Beta#3: 9 6/27/12 BFP#2/Beta#1: 9/21/12
S/PAIFW
Re: Hmmm... what would YOU think?
I would definitely be offended. It's not like you're just his girlfriend or something...you're his wife. Unless she sent you a separate card, I'd definitely be annoyed.
MH's grandmother was doing the same thing at Christmas..only sending a card to him (after we were married). Every year MH and I sent a card to her and her BOYFRIEND and yet, when she sent a card it was only to MH. She also sent a check to him as his xmas present. I didn't care about the check, but just wanted to be acknowledged on the card. I mentioned something to MIL and the next year I got acknowledged on the card plus she sent me a check. Not what I intended, but hey, I'm not complaining about a nice Christmas check from his grandma. LOL
Ditto! Add in a
Weird, rude, hurtful, inappropriate....I can't imagine the swarm of feelings you are going through. If my MIL did that, MH would be on the phone to her to point all of those things out. I don't feel like it was an oversight and there's no excuse for it...so sorry she's a reject.
I'm glad I'm not just being overly sensitive.
I think MH's mom is missing her other daughter, but I have to say that I've never felt wholly accepted by MH's mom and I think it's because she just doesn't get where I come from. Which is fine, I guess, but I hate that she does things like this-- MH sees it for what it is, as far as I can tell, but I think he feels that he can't change his mother at this point. So all he can do is be extra nice to me. Poor guy-- stuck between his mom and his wife.
I'm glad I have you guys and my family to vent to, though, so I can laugh it off in front of MH so he doesn't worry about it more than he does already.
And I'm glad, too, that my family doesn't treat MH like an outsider-- he's always included and has been welcomed in to the family as an equal. I love that my family is awesome like that.
Yeah, this is odd...I mean, it's not hard to simply write a name on a card...it's not like she gave him a gift and left you out at that level. Maybe consider it a fluke year, if she's been feeling especially "off" for the holidays? I would be upset...
My mother has never been accepted by my father's mother, which is ridiculous because my mother is seriously one of the sweetest people I know. My grandmother is just a super-flake. So, she has gotten used to this type of treatment over the years for her birthday/Christmas...sometimes getting a card, sometimes being left off a card, sometimes getting a check...so bizarre...and they've been married for 40 years, so it's not like she forgot her son was married. And then my poor mother is always relegated to shopping for her gifts from them because my dad is just not a shopper...blah...I can't imagine. I got extremely lucky in the in-law department.