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Confessions of a Military Wife
Has anyone read this? I believe my wonderful MIL is getting it for christmas and I am really excited to read it. I have heard that it is very funny and offers comedic relief to something that can be stressful.
Do y'all have those days where you swell with pride at the idea of being married to someone that is in the military?? It happens to me very often but more so now that he is getting deployed.
I used to be full of "nevers" :
I was "never" going to like him [my now husband - he loved me all through high school]
I was "never" going to get married before I was at least 25 and had lived on my own
I was "never" going to get married while I was still in college
I was "never" going to marry someone in the military (it was too scary, too uncertain, and I often used to underestimate and not have faith in all of the good work that military personnel does both abroad and at home)
Needless to say...all of the listed above have happened. I firmly believe in the idea that you NEVER tell God that you will NEVER do/believe/love something because He will laugh and show you what's-what. And all of these things are the best things that could have happened to me. I cannot imagine my life without my wonderful husband in it. I am so glad I got married young because he was able to support me emotionally and physically through the stresses of school. And I am so glad that he is in the USMC because it has given us both a sense of pride and ownership of our country as well as discipline and most of all faith. Faith in each other, faith in our religion/spirituality, and faith in things that we are unsure of (deployments, pay, jobs, leave/return dates etc).
Just feeling sentimental. I don't know how I got from "has anyone read this book" to all of the above.
Re: Confessions of a Military Wife
That book would make lovely kindling if it ever came into my house.
Oh? Was it not good?
I haven't heard of any website to go with it or that it is tied to. My MIL found it on Grunt.com (USMC website for miscellaneous stuff) and thought I would like it.
I don't read stuff like that, so I couldn't tell you, but I generally pride myself more on being active duty than I do being a military spouse.
I am prior AD so I can relate. I generally tend to describe myself as a mom, then wife, now student, then homemaker... The only time I identify as a "military spouse" is on school applications or DD's insurance stuff. I love MH but the profession of who I'm married to isn't what makes me me.
I'm more proud of MH as a father and husband than I am of what he does for a career. If any of that made sense.
The only book I have geared towards military wives is a 1950s book that includes tidbits like, "Don't be foolish. Do not expect your husband to present you to his NCOs when they come for dinner." "Serve lamb and mint jelly for dinner." "A well organized linen closet is the heart of every household."
That stuff cracks me up. I also have one of Dr. Spock's original baby care books. He said to feed your baby meat by two months of age to prevent allergies.
Well...it's a book...written by a woman who has been married to someone in the military...for people that are married to people in the military. I was curious if anyone had read it. Apparently, people aren't interested in reading this particular book...cool. I can recommend some great ones that have nothing to do with the military if you are interested (Hunger Games - for the crowd whose guilty pleasure is still reading young adult novels, The Help - for those who live in a hole and somehow haven't heard of the book and/or movie etc)
My husband being in the military is a large part of our life right now because he is gearing up for his first deployment. It is a larger part than it has been in the past because, as he is a Reservist, it tends to be on the back burner to our other, day-to-day activities until that one weekend a month or 2 weeks during the summer. Please hear me when I say that I don't love him solely for the fact that he is in the USMC - he was in my life before he ever joined. But it is something that is the focus of our lives right now as we learn to live apart...how to support and communicate with each other effectively while he is away. I am very proud to be married to someone in the military. It does not define me; I have a career that I love and work entirely too many hours at, I have friends that I go dance with and keep my mind off of my best friend and partner not being at home, I have 2 crazy cats (stinky and stormageddon) who drive me up the wall, and someday I will be a mom and he will be an amazing father to our children..but please don't discount the very real fact for me that my husband is in the military.
I don't think the women on the board are saying they aren't proud. Our husbands have missed holidays, birthdays, anniversaries, etc because of deployments and "the mission comes first." It just isn't what is forefront on our minds. And no one is attacking you. This board is incredibly supportive. But honest to a fault.
I dont think anyone was trying to? ... or why we would ... on a board geared towards military spouses or members?
I changed my name
I should probably also add that I read it while my husband was deployed and it was his most dangerous deployment by far. While at times, it helped to make me laugh, at other times I got really pissed about the "problems" she was facing. While I realize her problems were dramatized and all for the book at the time, I couldn't handle the complaining from this woman.
I really do appreciate the feedback. I am sorry that my reply sounded defensive. I try to not define myself as just being the wife of a Marine - but it is something that differentiates me from the other married folk in my current social circle. I am very proud of him as I am sure all of you are of your military spouses. I felt, for a moment, as if, in response to a question about the book, that I got some responses that were not quite what I expected to hear about the life of someone who is married to a service member. So far, in our 2.5 yrs of marriage, we haven't had many dealings with our branch of the military (other than gripes about the pay schedule).
Thanks for all of the advice on the book. I am not sure if she has gotten it for me but I suppose we will see come Christmas eve. I hope there are some funny parts but in reading the blurb I can tell that there are things that would be annoying if she is facing things as "problems" more than just working through thigns and dealing with them.
I too was baffled because as it is a "military nesties" board I envisioned chatting with people in a setting where people were coming from the mindset of their "married to a person in the military" hat and not the hat one might wear on the board targeted towards a career, or recipes, or the hat for parents asking questions on the parenting boards. I hope that this makes sense. I recognize that we all wear all of these hats at different times and most wear multiple hats at different times. Didn't mean to offend anyone.
Hey you're welcome to come do that. Its just.... how do I say this....
We dont really know you. We dont know how to read you. Your posts have been coming off overall... like you came on here, wanting a certain response, but then you dont get it, so you get oddly defensive.
Yes, this board is for "military nesties" but if we only ever wore our military life hats, this board would be even more dead and boring than it gets around here. We have lots going on in our lives, and some of us have been around this board for a long time, so we share those things too. Or random musings, or whatever
ETA: some people are not into that kind of book or mentality or whatever, some people are. You dont need to defend if you do or dont like it, but we will give you honesty either way.
I changed my name
I was going to simply pop in and say the book probably wouldn't be up my alley, simply because of the references to God and faith. Kinda removes any interest in the book for me...
also a reason the OP (original post) was maybe ill-received, and I'm Catholic
I changed my name
Perhaps everyone's experience is unique? I'm sorry I can't really relate to the list in general. I'm also not really someone who typically works with absolute statements. That's just my personality.
Edit: On the topic of books for military spouses, I think I have one. It's here somewhere. Oh, found it. It's called "Navy Spouse's Guide." I read it while DH(then fiance/BF/whatever) was at OCS and honestly haven't really picked it up since. Most of the topics it covered are things that change over time so I tend to just ask Mr. Google when I have a question these days.
How dare you? We have the option to say, "So help me God," in our enlistment oath, and since you're a military wife, you should be all up on that.
That being said, posting on a message board is just like having a group conversation. It is important to keep in mind with whom you are conversing. On our board there are women who are new military wives, women who have been married a while but new to military life, women who have been military wives for many years, women who are SAHW/SAHM, career women AND women who are or have been active duty. A book like the one your MIL is giving you is not for everyone. That's okay. After you read it, decide if you like it or not. For someone, like Ojo, who is an active duty service member and married to an active duty service member, such a book is not something she's interested in. Personally, if I had (or took) the time to read, I might check it out. But it doesn't matter.
The ladies here are a good group. Try taking some time to read what is posted and to respond. Let people get to know you while you get to know us. Then, once you feel more comfortable, you'll understand the groups dynamics and find your place. I can tell that you are trying to find connections and to understand more about being a part of a military community. It will take some time, but soon enough you'll realize that it is all a bit more comfortable.