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Court again, tomorrow morning
So tomorrow we'll go back for a review of the current visitation schedule. Right now, XH has two, 1.5 hour supervised visits/week.
What he would like to get out of tomorrow would be one visit for 2 hours on Tuesday evenings, unsupervised, and a 9 hour visit (9am-6pm) every Sunday, unsupervised, where he would have his dad pick up DS, since XH has no valid driver's license.
I feel that a 9 hour unsupervised visit is too much, too soon, given that XH just came back into P's life in July, after not seeing him for an entire year AND given his history of criminal activity and drugs/alcohol. His last arrest was just one year ago and it was for four drug related charges, including possession.
Since April he has been through drug rehab and is part of a year-long treatment program where he drug tests bi-weekly. Our visitation agreement stipulates that he loses rights to visitation with a failed drug test.
So I will propose two, visits week, 2 hours on Tuesday evening, and 3-4 hours on Sundays, to be held at his grandparents home or his sister's home, since XH lives an hour away from P and I. I would drop off and pick up. I will also ask that this be contingent upon clean, bi-weekly drug tests.
My dad is going with me for support. Wish me luck, ladies!
Re: Court again, tomorrow morning
Good luck! Hopefully the judge agrees that it's too much too soon.
Has he shown up for all vistations so far?
I think your proposal is great.
Will the drug tests continue once he completes the rehabilitation program? If he's like XH, as soon as he completes the program, he doesn't have to put on a show for the facilitators and goes back to using without blinking an eye. After tomorrow, how long until you'd go back to court again and revisit the schedule (assuming XH doesn't screw up that is)?
GOOD LUCK! I'll be thinking of you and sending good thoughts your way!
ETA: Probably goes without saying, but say that he is not to transport P during his visit and also that he must be present at the time you drop off and pick up P to count as a visit. (i.e. - he can't stay for an hour on Sunday and then let his grandparents care for P the remainder of the time or show up an hour late for his visit while his sister watches P). Given his history, he needs to be demonstrate that he can do this before getting any further unsupervised time.
Yes, he's been consistent.
CPA-I would like that the drug testing continue to be part of the stipulation, meaning, if he fails his visitation is revoked.
I hate to be pessimistic, but I wonder how long the sobriety will last.
I think you should push for drug testing to be a continued stipulation. I doubt any judge will disagree.
Yeah, I'm also waiting for the shoe to fall on XH's sobriety...
So we beat on, boats against the current, borne back ceaselessly into the past.
Good luck!!
BTW, can you use the fact that he doesn't have a license to your benefit by saying that if he was at his house for 9 hours unsupervised and something happened to P he'd have no way of getting him to a doctor, etc?
I hope to use this as a reason to keep him from having him for that long. I brought up the concern with XH but he said his dad (the licensed driver) could take him, if needed.
I don't like the idea of having to rely on someone else (ie his dad) for that long of a time frame, every Sunday. Obviously if XH had a license, it's HIS visit and he would be with P at all times so HE would drive. But what would be my guarantee that his dad will be with him that entire time?
I hope to use this as a reason to keep him from having him for that long. I brought up the concern with XH but he said his dad (the licensed driver) could take him, if needed.
I don't like the idea of having to rely on someone else (ie his dad) for that long of a time frame, every Sunday. Obviously if XH had a license, it's HIS visit and he would be with P at all times so HE would drive. But what would be my guarantee that his dad will be with him that entire time?
They see us rollin'...they be hatin'.