Starting Over
Dear Community,
Our tech team has launched updates to The Nest today. As a result of these updates, members of the Nest Community will need to change their password in order to continue participating in the community. In addition, The Nest community member's avatars will be replaced with generic default avatars. If you wish to revert to your original avatar, you will need to re-upload it via The Nest.
If you have questions about this, please email help@theknot.com.
Thank you.
Note: This only affects The Nest's community members and will not affect members on The Bump or The Knot.
Our tech team has launched updates to The Nest today. As a result of these updates, members of the Nest Community will need to change their password in order to continue participating in the community. In addition, The Nest community member's avatars will be replaced with generic default avatars. If you wish to revert to your original avatar, you will need to re-upload it via The Nest.
If you have questions about this, please email help@theknot.com.
Thank you.
Note: This only affects The Nest's community members and will not affect members on The Bump or The Knot.
POLL s/o $9,700 strip club bill
Interesting thread http://community.thenest.com/cs/ks/forums/thread/61288038.aspx
Anyway, someone said ( 2nd Knot thread) that if people would go to counselling, there would be less divorces. Since most of us are divorced or going through it or thinking about it, here is a poll!
[Poll]
Re: POLL s/o $9,700 strip club bill
Good lord. That guy sounds like a total douche who is obviously not telling her the whole story.
We went to counseling through the church before we were married and it was horrible. We took a compatibility test and failed MISERABLY. XH did the mature thing and ripped the test into a million pieces as opposed to actually addressing the issues we so obviously had.
I saw this story reposted on another board and was shocked. I don't know who just hands their card over, especially knowing that you're in a place where the charges could get completely out of control in a hurry.
As far as counseling, I said no - XH and I went once before the split, but I now know he was just trying to shut me up, so it wouldn't have done a bit of good. I think pre-marital counseling is a great idea, and I wonder what would have happened if we'd given that a whirl. But truth be told I think when two people are in love, it's easy to overlook all the reasons you're incompatible with someone. I've learned a ton of lessons thru my marriage and divorce that I'm not sure I could have learned any other way.
We did a year of counseling. I went on my own at first and my counselor pretty quickly told me I needed to divorce him. He finally started coming to my sessions, then got his own counselor and we'd do occasional joint sessions. Come to find out he was lying to his counselor and I was too far gone (just like my counselor said) to deal with it. It did benefit me, though, it helped me realize I was making the right decision and helped me deal with some of my PTSD stuff.
I think counseling, done at the correct time, can help see a marriage through a rough patch brought on my communication differences or life events. The problem is that most couples don't enter counseling until it's too late. Counseling in and of itself is not some silver bullet that can make things better, and it certainly won't fix endemic personality conflicts.
Oh, and spending $10K at a strip club is not a "life event" here - that's a red flag set on fire.
No... but I am a special case. I went to couseling by myself, but I was never trying to work out my marriage.
I was on such a tangent, I forgot to mention.. that in my case..no amount of counseling can make me trust again. STBX cheated, so yes we did try counseling.. but I was already done at that point. I don't believe that counseling can always help.