Starting Over
Our Angel baby, lost at 6w6d on 6/10/08
Dear Community,
Our tech team has launched updates to The Nest today. As a result of these updates, members of the Nest Community will need to change their password in order to continue participating in the community. In addition, The Nest community member's avatars will be replaced with generic default avatars. If you wish to revert to your original avatar, you will need to re-upload it via The Nest.
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Note: This only affects The Nest's community members and will not affect members on The Bump or The Knot.
Our tech team has launched updates to The Nest today. As a result of these updates, members of the Nest Community will need to change their password in order to continue participating in the community. In addition, The Nest community member's avatars will be replaced with generic default avatars. If you wish to revert to your original avatar, you will need to re-upload it via The Nest.
If you have questions about this, please email help@theknot.com.
Thank you.
Note: This only affects The Nest's community members and will not affect members on The Bump or The Knot.
Separation vs Divorce- decision made
Originally I had thought a separation would be the route to go. But after seeing a counselor and realizing that my goal at the end is a divorce, I determined that I might as well tell H that a divorce is what I want right from the beginning.
It's going to crush him! Not that a separation wouldn't, but in a way I thought a separation would be less harsh and would give us, really him, time to come to terms with the fact that our marriage is over. But I also don't want to give him false hope. UGH!!! This is so damn hard!!!
Our Angel baby, lost at 6w6d on 6/10/08
Re: Separation vs Divorce- decision made
This is exactly what my counselor said last night. And there is no doubt. I've been out of this marriage emotionally for about 2 years now. I only started voicing my feelings this past summer.
You and I are pretty much on the same page. I have told MH that I want a divorce but I'm not sure he fully believes me b/c as of yet I really haven't taken any steps other than saying the words outloud. I also am waiting till after the holidays.
Every time I mention I want out to my husband he ends up crying, then cursing me out, and he really doesn't handle it well. Meanwhile I sit there numb to his reactions with really no emotion going on inside me and that is how I know a divorce is best b/c I am really not struggling with any sort of emotional loss over my marriage.
I have no real advice as I am still very new to this process too I just wanted to let you know you are not alone and offer my support.
I have told myself this lots of times. I've talked to several close friends and family about this and they've all said how well I'm handling it. But like I said in the original post, I've been emotionally done for a long time. I've come to terms with the fact that it's over. I just need to voice it.
I remember that our stories were VERY similar: no abuse/neglect in the marriage, just that we both grew apart, 2 young daughters, waiting til after the holidays... It's sad that we're in this situation, but in a way it's comforting to know I'm not alone. Thanks.
Agreed. Take it from someone who was kind of dragging it out. I knew it was over, yet felt so much guilt (even tho HE was the one who cheated and forced me to make the decision to leave), I had a hard time saying the words "I want a divorce". If that is definitely what you know that you want, then don't skirt around the issue. Just deal with it head on. Its very hard, but once it's been said, you'll feel a huge weight lifted off of you! Good luck!