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Apologies.
Listen gals and guys (I know theres a few!),
I really do apologize for getting so defensive in my posts. I'm really having a tough time letting go and working on myself because hanging onto the old crap in my life is the only thing familiar and I'm scared to take the next step.
I know you guys are just trying to help and look out, which I really appreciate. I am sorry for sounding so naieve and stubborn. I could see that my relationship with BF isn't ideal, but it's so hard to walk away from because I have so much fun with him.
You give good advice because I know most of you have been here or there or close to it in your own way and you're just trying to help out so it's a little easier on me or to guide me in the right direction.
I've kind of had an epiphany and I'm realizing what I actually want in my life.
Thank you, and my sincerest apologies.
Re: Apologies.
You don't have to apologize. I was in a fog for a while and the people around me had to get real with me. It can be hard to hear, but in the end it was for the best.
Good luck!
Thank you for apologizing and realizing how you sound. We have all had our asses handed to us throughout the years and it can be tough to take. I get that it is difficult but you are only making your life hard by not taking these steps. It will not be easy but it is usually worth it in the end.
Oh and in terms of your BF, would you rather have "fun" or a healthy, stable and fun relationship with someone else?
You want my advice? DTMFA and take a "man-battical" for 6-12 months. Work on yourself, get your shiit in order and then you will find yourself in a much better place than you are now.
3/12 5 mi -- 49:22 Pace: 9:52
5/1 Half Marathon -- 2:11:22 Pace: 10:01
5/22 10k -- 56:29 Pace: 9:00
5/24 3.6 -- 29:03 Pace: 8:18
7/10 15k -- 1:44:46 injured Pace: 11:14
10/29 5k -- 28:24 Pace: 9:04
Seriously - you can have a lot of fun with someone else who is mentally healthy.
It sucks because deep down I almost feel like we can work on our problems in therapy, both of us, and we would be fantastic together. He really is loving and caring but yes, he oversteps boundaries when we are angry at each other, and so do I. I don't let him walk away which is my problem I'm dealing with, and we are very similar in that aspect. The violence that ensued was a result of my past emerging, but he did overstep into my personal space bubble, so we were both wrong in what we did. Our personalities click so well, and that's why I just want to take some space away to see if it works, but ultimately I know deep in my heart that I need to be alone and it sucks because I am madly in love with this man. It was one of those whirlwind romance type deals, which we all know do not end up working in the end.
I suppose what is meant to be will be.
someone can have great qualities and be really fun to be with, but still not be the right person for you. I don't think you belong with anyone right now, especially not someone like him, but that's just my opinion.
I think you are starting to realize all of this and that's the first step! Sometimes advice is harsh and tough to take on here, but in my experience, these ladies have been through a lot themselves so they're attempting to save you from mistakes they have all made. Good luck!
If you are working on your relationship then that means less time and energy you can devote to working on yourself. You also not doing HIM any favors in the long run because he needs to be solely focusing on himself as well.
If you are meant to be together then you will randomly run into each other at a future point and then you can re-evaluate. But right now you are doing a HUGE disservice to both of you!
3/12 5 mi -- 49:22 Pace: 9:52
5/1 Half Marathon -- 2:11:22 Pace: 10:01
5/22 10k -- 56:29 Pace: 9:00
5/24 3.6 -- 29:03 Pace: 8:18
7/10 15k -- 1:44:46 injured Pace: 11:14
10/29 5k -- 28:24 Pace: 9:04