Our tech team has launched updates to The Nest today. As a result of these updates, members of the Nest Community will need to change their password in order to continue participating in the community. In addition, The Nest community member's avatars will be replaced with generic default avatars. If you wish to revert to your original avatar, you will need to re-upload it via The Nest.
If you have questions about this, please email help@theknot.com.
Thank you.
Note: This only affects The Nest's community members and will not affect members on The Bump or The Knot.
Would this be weird or is it just me?
I had a conversation a while ago with my sister when Craig and I picked a name for our little boy where my sister basically told me they were considering the same name if they ever had a boy. Our kid's name is going to Joseph Edward, both family names. Joseph is H's middle name and Edward is his late dad's middle name. We picked this name long before we ever started TTC. She told me at that time that they thought of Joseph because it's her H's middle name, so it means something to them, too.
Fast forward to 2 days ago where she tells me that they have found out they are having a boy, due May 16th. I'm really happy for them, but I'm terrified that she is going to use the name Joseph even though we have already told both families what our name is. We haven't gone public with our name because we don't think anyone else really needs to know, but they came out with my niece's name long before she was born. They will probably do the same thing this time and if they pick Joseph it will look like we copied them to everyone but our families.
I think it would be weird to have 1st cousins with the same name, not to mention really confusing for my parents having 2 grandsons with the same name. So please tell me if my hypothetical situation is weird or if I'm just overreacting because it's our name.
EDITED: I deleted this part, just in case. It was mean and I shouldn't have said it to begin with.
Sorry for the blathering, but the whole thing makes me want to cry and it hasn't even happened yet!
Re: Would this be weird or is it just me?
Yeah, I think it would be bizarre for first cousins to have the same name. My sister and I have the same taste in names also. DH and I only looked at different "J" names for our baby boy, and my favorite name is Jonah - which is my nephew's name. I never even considered naming my baby that because of my nephew. Even with middle names, we would have liked to use Ryan but that's my other nephew's middle name so it's out. Heck, even with second cousins - I always loved the name Sophia for a girl but my cousin named his daughter that, so I immediately crossed that off the list.
As far as I'm concerned you have "dibs" on the name since your family knows about it and your baby is coming first. But, you might want to start letting more people know the name you picked just in case. Personally, I think your sister will be the one who looks strange if she gives her baby the same name as her 2 month old nephew.
Hopefully she's being reasonable about it and not even considering Joseph at this point, and you're worrying over nothing!
I am sorry you are dealing with this. It sounds like your sister really needs to be the center of attention (and I believe that you have mentioned this before). That sounds crazy to me that her husband is not totally on board with the new kid, yet she is pregnant, and before their planned time as well. What a sad situation.
I would be pretty annoyed and frustrated, but at the same time, it really is not a huge deal for cousins to have the same name. Perhaps a little confusing at times, but still not a big deal in the long run. I think in 5 years it will just be what it is, and not something people really even think about, if that makes sense. I get the feeling that this is more maddening because of things in the past perhaps that color your feelings. I may be totally wrong about that though, and if so I apologize. I just know that I have people in my life that I am more likely to be hurt by or annoyed at for doing something, that if it was someone else did the same thing it would not bother me at all.
And even if she announces the name first, your son will be born first, and in 2 years everyone will have forgotten that she announced first, and just see that your kid is the older one who was officially named first.
Hopefully she will not even end up using the name though.
10/11: Dx PCOS, 2000mg Metformin
My Blog
April Nesties March siggy challenge: Next Vacation, Anguilla!!
You are absolutely right, Courtney, about everything in our past. She always has been the center of attention and I truly believe everything that I wrote (and then deleted) because I have no reason not to!
I have to admit that when she called me a while ago and told me she was pregnant and only 10 weeks behind me I broke down and sobbed for about an hour. H was so sweet trying to cheer me up, but he completely understood why I was so upset. It really looked to both of us like she did it to copy us and take the attention away again. He was actually in school with her in the same grade so he knows basically what my like has been like and what's she always been like, so that helps.
I'm hoping that I'm overreacting over nothing and they pick a different name or use Joseph as a middle name and it won't even be an issue.
I would announce, at least to your immediate family, the name you have chosen. And maybe mention that you had picked out this name long before you were pregnant ("remember, sister, when I told you that?" [wink wink]). I can understand why you didn't want to before, but with people like that you HAVE to call your "dibs" publicly, or they take advantage of you. I don't want you to feel weird announcing Joseph's name after she beat you to the punch of announcing her baby Joseph's name to the family.
And yes, I think it's totally weird. My SIL, before she was even MARRIED, found out my niece and nephews' names and was like "omg those would sound sooooo good with my future last name!" I mentioned ummmm you can't name your kids the same as my sister's kids bc then DH and I have two nephews with the same name, and that's weird. She has since moved on from that idea thank god, but yeah I think it's bizarre. First come first serve, sorry!
To echo everyone else, keep your name. If your family already knows it, she would look like a complete moron for choosing the same first name. Maybe she will consider using Joseph as a middle name, and I think that would be fine.
Before my sister found out she was having a boy, she told us that her girl name would be Addilynn...which Jeff and I have said Addison forever. In fact, Jeff loves it so much he won't even hear of any other names. Needless to say, I was really happy when I found out she was having a boy! Plus, I wouldn't trade Ethan for any girl in the world! : )
I also did always love the name Grace and call her Gracie, but my niece is Samantha Grace, and I call her Gracious, so I could never name a girl that now.
People move on from names pretty fast if they are not the first in line, which you obviously are, so hopefully it won't be anything to worry about! : )
I do LOVE the name by the way!
It would be weird. But stand your ground! Your baby is coming first and since the name is sentimental to YH and you, go with it. Hopefully, your mom or you will be able to talk some sense into your sister if she really decides to go with the same name.
((hugs))
Shmel's Blog
That's pretty crappy of your sister to come out and say she wants the same name you do after you told her what you chose. I would probably tell your parents what you picked as well so she doesn't come out and make you look like the copy cat. Then maybe she can suck it up and use Joseph as a middle name for her son.
DH and BIL have the same middle name as well.
Ditto! I would stand your ground and be honest with your sister that you think it would be really weird to have 2 cousins with the same name. Also, I agree that you should maybe go public with your little one's name - you could do this subtly by having it embroidered on a blanket or something and then posting a picture on facebook
Post-Wedding Life Blog!
A10 Siggy Challenge: Next Vacation Destination: San Francisco!
Ugh you are not crazy, that's super annoying!!!!! I always have this irrational fear of someone using the name Ryan, for my hypothetical son, which I've been SET ON even since before I met my husband (and it just so happens to fit nicely with our name). So I mention it out loud to as many people as possible when the conversation arises - haha!
But, food for thought....my sister and our first cousin have the same name. They were born two months apart, and I don't really know how it happened, or if my mom had hard feelings about it, but it was never a problem. In fact, the two girls always joked about it and called themselves "a pair of Stephanies" when they were together. I dunno, it just wasn't a big deal.
But I still would feel the way you do right now, and I hope it works out!
I agree with this- going more public with the name and also when you name your baby, will deter her from naming her own baby that. Plus if your family and friends know she's an attention hungry person, it wouldn't surprise anyone if she pitches a fit or something :-) Good luck!!
April 2010 Siggy Challenge: Next Vacation Destination