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MIL texts me to have DH call her!
So, MIL is at it again. She texts me earlier asking me to have my DH call her. DH was out and I texted her saying he would call her in a few hours. I seriously thought she needed to talk to him about our gift exchange and couldn't ask me bc I am pretty sure she has me.....anyways......that's what I THOUGHT. My ILs know how bad my DH is about getting back to them, and know that I am the one who responds 10x faster than he does to emails, phone calls, etc.
So, DH got home before I did and had already called MIL when he saw the missed call on his cell. I ask if he called her and he said she wanted to know if we wanted tickets to a sporting event (MIL and her bf have season tickets-good seats).
So, I guess MIL thinks I can't answer a "what are you guys doing on X night, wanna go to X game? DH said he is going to talk to her about this. Any advice?
This is not the first time something like this has happened. I have written on here before. MIL/SIL can be brutal.
Re: MIL texts me to have DH call her!
Brutal? Come on. Annoying? Sure. I get that. Why text YOU to talk to DH about something she could just talk to you about.
But brutal?
Seriously- don't look so hard for stuff to be mad at. As the other poster said, if you want her to either go to him directly OR talk to you - then stop playing middle man.
~Benjamin Franklin
DS dx with celiac disease 5/28/10
I said they CAN be brutal. This wasn't. She has both our numbers in her phone, as she calls DH a couple times a week.
she had already called DH and he didn't answer quickly enough. So she summons me to have him call her.
I guess I am a believer that the DIL can answer/handle family plans.
~Benjamin Franklin
DS dx with celiac disease 5/28/10
~Benjamin Franklin
DS dx with celiac disease 5/28/10
I agree. And in our house we just ask each other when plans/opportunities come-up. But I really don't want to talk to my MIL about things she wants to do with us - becasue she has a weird way around making plans that baffles me and makes sense to DH. And DH is forbidden to make arrangements with my father because my father is an oober-planner and would lock-down plans for the next 6 years if allowed (and DH is too nice about it).
So, yes, annoying. Especially the 'job' to summons him. But in reality, that's how we roll and it works really well.
I would just get in the habit to text back "If he got your message, I'm sure that's good enough."
You have no idea what problems you be having with your MIL. Many people have actual problems with thiers and this is nothing to complain about.
I for one would be annoyed - but not for the reason you describe and not at MIL but at your husband. MIL is his mother. He needs to talk to her if he wants a relationship with her.
Even if MIL likes you, its her son and he's the one she really wants to be in communication with. This IMHO has nothing to do with the fact that she doesn't feel you can answer the question - she just wants to talk to her son is what it sounds like to me.
I can see how this is an actual problem. Suesue highlighted the malicious pitfalls pretty easily. Hugs and kisses for this messiness? Really? HUGS .. KISSES ...?? For this?
The hugs and Kisses part sounded sarcastic to me but maybe I am reading it wrong.
I kind of agree with that poster though. It really isn't that big if a deal if the MIL would rather speak to her son. Just because someone gets married doesn't mean a mother won't still prefer to discuss things whatever they may be with her child.
Thanks to everyone for your advice. Thanks to everyone for your thoughts/ideas. Sometimes when you are IN THE SITUATION, it's hard to think outside of it. As this was NOT by any means the first issue with MIL, small or large, it just got to me more than if it was the first snaffu. With other issues big or small we have had, this was one that seemed along the lines of "I am going to discuss with my son/you don't matter (as other things have come up like this before).
Thanks to all who were understanding! I appreciate and am using the advice.
Agreed. I would LOVE to have that problem. My MIL hates me. She thinks I ruined her son. She blames me for everything and refuses to have a relationship with me. Wanna trade?
Ok......thanks again everyone for the great advice.Not into explaining this any further/going back and forth. Happy Holidays everyone!
"He's unavailable but is it something maybe you and I can discuss?"
simple.
if she says "no i need to talk to him"
that's where I'd put an end to it and say "well dial his phone number, he has one"
i'm sure she wouldn't bother you with this again.