Sex & Romance
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Where's the articles about him not wanting sex?

So, maybe I'm just a weird case where my sex drive is high and his is... tamed... for lack of a better word. I'm 22, he's 27, so maybe it's just that I'm still all full of horomones, honeymoon mindsets, and just craving passion all the time. He says it's not me, he's just stressed out about work or about other things so he'd rather game. We have talked about this multiple times, but being rejected constantly isn't exactly easy on the self confidence. 

So, how do I keep sex in a young marriage when gaming and stress seem to be ringing his sex drive dry?

I've started to work out and that seems to help on the self confidence level. I still feel like we didn't get that natural honeymoon period though, and I feel like I'm missing out on something. We haven't gone on our honeymoon yet (I'm still in school, waiting on the semester to finish - he HAD to have 11/11/11) so I'm wondering if that will help pull him into de-stressing a more... physical... way that lusting after the red head in Mass Effect 2?

 

Xoxo 

Re: Where's the articles about him not wanting sex?

  • Women don't reach their sexual peak until mid-30s or a bit later. or so they say.

    What you are experiencing could also be an adjustment thing.

    What you and he need to to: talk at length. yeah, you said you and he already have encroached the topic -- what is important here:

    Communication
    That the both of you work on this issue together, to an end that the both of you find satisfactory and satisfying.
  • Ohh, how I'd love to be one of those "Yeah, honey, I have to ummm, wash my hair tonight...sorry!" girls. Alas, I am not, and I am in the same boat as you. I'd love to hear some replies on this topic!! 
  • First off, get him off the video game console and into bed. My boyfriend and I moved in together and are relatively young (he's turning 20 in a week and I'm 22). Anyway, a video game should never come before sex ever! At least in my mind it shouldn't. If my boyfriend is playing on the computer I will come and first rub his shoulders and then if that doesn't get his attention I'll just sit on his lap and be straight up about the fact that I want sex, haha. Not saying you have to be that direct, but you need to talk to him and tell him that you feel the sexual intimacy is lacking in your relationship and make it clear to him that it's a problem.

    Does he have self esteem issues or issues of a sexual nature like premature ejaculaction? If the answer is yes, maybe he should go get some professional help. Talk to him and communicate above all else though.

    "Love is more than an emotion, it is a verb you must choose to do everyday." Daisypath Anniversary tickers
  • imagecallitcompulsive:
    Ohh, how I'd love to be one of those "Yeah, honey, I have to ummm, wash my hair tonight...sorry!" girls. Alas, I am not, and I am in the same boat as you. I'd love to hear some replies on this topic!! 

    same. I have tried just about everything i can think of. but his xbox always seems to important to him. Sad

  • I completely understand.  We got married last Saturday (had a short honeymoon), and already I'm experiencing problems!  I had to beg him to have sex Monday night!  Two days after we got married!!!  He says he is just tired, but then I don't understand why he is watching movies and playing videogames until midnight - thus gaining 5 hours of sleep! 

    I told him to have sex every night with me for a month, and maybe then I'll feel like only having it three or four times a week.

  • In the same boat here. He makes me feel bad for always asking for it. But we used to have sex several times a week and now that we are married he'd be fine with once a week. Only when he asks for it too. Then he says he's afraid he is not the man for me as he can't satisfy me. Ok ladies he more than satisfies me. Which is why I want it all the time! ;)
  • You ladies are lucky I would take once a week it's been 3 months for me and my dh and we just got married in may. We are also only 27! Wth is with men and no sex drive!
    Lilypie First Birthday tickers
  • Same here. I want it every day. We were virgins when we got married. In every way. No oral, handjobs, or even seeing each other. We stayed chaste. But a month and a half into our marriage and he's into it maybe a couple times a week. I will say it's amazing when he is into it. So it's frustrating that I'm usually the one to initiate it. However... For the first time. Last night he initiated. :) couldn't be happier with my husband. Except when he's got the sex drive of a geriatric and I'm still young and passionate! 
  • imageAuburn12:
    . We were virgins when we got married. In every way. No oral, handjobs, or even seeing each other. We stayed chaste. Except when he's got the sex drive of a geriatric and I'm still young and passionate! 

     

      So just what were you expecting? Some sort of award and reward?

       He's backed off for probably two reasons. #1 he can't shake off in a few days the mental conditioning. Of being told for 10-15 years that sex is an evil dirty sin. #2 Maybe sex didn't live up to the expectations he had and he's disappointed or even resentful for waiting for "nothing".  

     

     

  • I'm in the same boat as you and I truley feel your pain. My boyfriend and I have been together for 2 years, and recently moved in together. He never really was into having sex as much as me and I thought it was because we never had the privacy and the freedom to do it, but now when we do, we doing less frequently. And more recently since we've been living together we have been going weeks without being intimate. The worst was 6 weeks of no sex. I just came back from a business trip 2 weeks ago and he still hasn't laid a hand on me, and I was away for two weeks, so now we're on another 4 weeks of no sex, so it's pretty much every couple months now. I have done my best to come on to him, and I've told him numerous times that I want to be intimate but nothing works. Instead he gets mad and we start fighting. We don't have the best relationship either and we fight all the time, he has a very extreme temper and is always finding a reason to be mad at me. I'm at a loss and don't know what to do anymore.  I'm sorry your having the same problems, I know it's difficult but I guess you just keep trying and once when you'r fed up, you'll blow up on him and maybe just have to call it quits...that's what I tell myself because I have needs and I can't stay in a love less relationship where the other person puts themself before me and doesn't try to fullfill my needs. Also with all this, you might start having the temptation to cheat on him, so he better shape up otherwise you might accidently go looking else where, after all it is your hormones acting.
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