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Does anyone's toddler strongly prefer one parent to the other?

My daughter wants nothing to do with me when my husband is home.  That's fine by me usually because I am making dinner and it's nice he can play with her.  Lately she is actually mean to me.  That sounds ridiculous because she is 18 months old but she smacks me in the face or pushes me or screams NO if I try to help her/hug her/ do anything that she would prefer my husband to do.  He is definitely the softie.  He is upstairs right now rocking her because she woke up.  I tried and she pushed me and yelled "Dada! Dada!". 

I actually cried tonight because at bed I always read her Goodnight Moon.  Every night, even when John is there.  Tonight she grabbed the book and goes, "no mama...dada book," and handed it to him.  I am being over sensitive.  I know she's a toddler and they go through phases.  She is so much worse when he is around.  When it's just us she's fine.  I think she is territorial of him.  If he kisses me she makes a mean face and says, "MY dada!". Lol.  

If she hits me one of us puts her in the corner.  She stays there for one minute and then she will come hug me, or say "I sorry.".  

Re: Does anyone's toddler strongly prefer one parent to the other?

  • Ava has always preferred my husband. I blame it on pumping and working FT while in grad school FT - she spent a lot more time with him and fed her most if her bottles while I pumped if we were both home. 

    Samantha only has eyes for me.

    We each have one, and right now I have the easier one - it was worth the wait! Lol!

    Ive cried too over it - it is hurtful 

  • Yeah I totally need a Mama's boy someday. Or a girl who prefers me, lol.

     

    See...I SAH, so when we are together, sometimes it's fun, and sometimes it's shopping, cleaning, doing the daily things that need to be done.  If I am her playmate all day we don't have clean clothes or eat.  When MH is home it's party time.  If its a Saturday and I have somewhere to go and he has work to do, he can get her to cooperate and "help" him, or he holds her.  I can't hold her while I unload a dishwasher.  She's 27 pounds.  

    I think I am on a housework strike for a few days.  I want my little buddy back. :( 

  • I know it makes you feel bad but it definitely is common, even in different ways. E is very daddy-centric on Sundays because that's the only day B is home from work all day and tries to give me some time to myself. Then Mondays he's still feeling it because daddy was around all day. It's good but sometimes he can be a little mean to me too because everything is "daddy do it". But then sometimes he's the opposite.

    But you did say YH is the "softie". Maybe you guys can work on being more even in the discipline department. You don't want to always be feeling bad and he's going to get frustrated later on if he won't respect his authority. It's easier to change things sooner than later! B and I really try to be on the same page and not do good cop/bad cop. He's def more attentive when B disciplines him vs me, but it's not because I'm easier on him because I'm defintely not. We think it's just because I'm the one home with him.

    Try not to take it too personally! 

  • imageLaVitaBella:

    I think I am on a housework strike for a few days.  I want my little buddy back. :( 

    I understand how you feel, but no, she isn't your friend. She does have to learn the world doesn't revolve around her and fun happens but stuff we dont like has to be done too. You're being a good mom by showing her all the stuff you do. But then it also can't be just a party when YH is around. That isn't fair to you or the relationship with your daughter on either side! You shouldn't always have to be the bad guy, she shouldn't expect to have a playmate 24/7 and YH can't get off discipline duty! 

  • I think Abby prefers me.  Im SAHM, I do almost all the discpline. Mh can be the fun one, but she seems to like structure I set up.  Mh is can be a softie too.  I think it hurts him she is always running and asking for me.
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  • My girls are both such daddy's girls.  When he's not around they are great with me, but when he's there, they want him.  They already know, at 3 and 19 mths, that they can play him like a fiddle.  He always gives in to them, I am always the tough one and they know it.  Some days it bothers me, some days I am happy for the break.  I spend a lot more time with them and his time with them is more play than baths and cleaning noses and all that stuff.  It's hard to not let it bother you, but like everything else, it's a phase.
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  • My kids both go through phases of preferring one parent over the other. They probably have slightly more frequent "Daddy"  phases, which I've always attributed to being tired of me since I'm home with them all day and Daddy works a lot. Yesterday was a day full of DH saying "Emma, let me put your gloves on." She would refuse, I would offer to do it, she would shout "No, Daddy do  it!" then let him do it. It was fun....
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  • It's probably just a phase. she has you all day every day (whether you're doing housework or playing) so he probably seems more novel than you.

    when my 2nd was born i was so busy w/ the baby that I felt on the "outs" w/ my 2 yr old. our 1st family outting was to the aquarium. she went to daycare the next day & when she got home her note said how she told everyone about going to the aquarium w/ "daddy & teagy". uh, wasn't i there, too?!

    it'll pass, try not to take it personally. you'll have lots of years of 'shopping & lunch' trips w/ your little girl --she won't be hanging at mall shopping w/ daddy :)

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