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Good Idea???
So I have talked with my H for the last weekend about have brought up divorce proceedings. My mind been made up I am leaving. Nothing been filed in court yet. H doesn't know I already have been looking at lawyers and I am moving out right after the new year.
Now in a few of these conversations H has brought up how he knows if we get a divorce he would have to pay all my court cost and how he would have to buy me a car and etc. Now I was thinking of talking to him more about the divorce before I move out and when I finally tell him I am leaving . I can get him to sign and we can get a notary paperwork saying he will pay these things. Just in case "he changes his mind" or tries to be an as*hat during the divorce process.
Now do you think that would be a good idea to have him sign it?
Re: Good Idea???
Right?
I initiated my divorce, I moved out, I sought out a lawyer. Therefore, I paid for said lawyer. And I retained my very fancy 2004 Nissan Sentra. What's the reason behind this buy-out situation?
So we beat on, boats against the current, borne back ceaselessly into the past.
This.
So we beat on, boats against the current, borne back ceaselessly into the past.
Do you not have ANY money of your own? You know the attorney will need a retainer fee up front right? Also I wouldn't make any moves before contacting the lawyer. It's very possible that having this notorized document could end up working against you. Not sure how exactly, but I learned from my divorce you never know what benign thing will backfire.
Also I certainly hope you are taking some steps to start making some money.
I know in this economy it may be hard to get back into the workforce, but you need to (if you haven't already) start planning on supporting yourself.
What a great suggestion GoZF!
Man, that must be nice! Did you two happen to meet on this website:
www.weathymen.com
I have all the fees for the lawyer already and will be "hiring' him officially right after Christmas. The lawyer told me that I can put in the divorce paper to have H cover all my fees since I am a SAHSM . I have a few jobs lined up so I will be making my own money soon hopefully. Thanks.
I'm confused. If you have the fees already saved up, then why get someone else to cover them?
So we beat on, boats against the current, borne back ceaselessly into the past.
It is best to get this in writing while you're negotiating--anything promised during marriage is often thrown by the wayside. Think of how many people would be forced to oblige to promises they made to their spouse who was thinking of leaving. "Honey, I will go anything so you don't stay, I will pay for this and buy you this and this!"
Your lawyer may be able to get him to cover attys fees but if he has a good lawyer they will fight it and make you pay.
Why are you waiting until after Christmas to hire your lawyer? There's no time like the present to protect yourself financially. What if he up and leaves, taking all of the money with him? Then you're SOL.
Also, don't move out until you get your attys go-ahead. In many states this is considered abandonment and you can lose your rights to many things in the house if you leave.
This. I asked X to cover court costs AFTER he started making crazy request that the judge already told his lawyer she would deny. But if a person is not draggin out proceedingd why would they pay? Especially if you are the one filing?
If you have such a sketchy relationship with a family member that they are requiring you to notarize a document that you borrowed between $2-5k (most retainers are around there), then why not just put it on a credit card so you can build up some credit and not have to worry about a debt to a family member?
So we beat on, boats against the current, borne back ceaselessly into the past.
Well that's one of the reasons I am leaving. He is verbal, psychical and mental/emotionally abuse. He is also very controlling ( IE in my older post) . He throws around divorce like its nothing and I am sick of it. I would rather not spend the rest of my life dealing with that. So i am leaving. He has already agreed to pay the legal fees.
Ok, then. Best of luck to you.
So we beat on, boats against the current, borne back ceaselessly into the past.
Well it certainly wouldn't hurt you to have him agree to something like that in writing, but it very well may not hold up in court.
A family friend had her now-XH sign an agreement just prior to their divorce basically signing over everything to her and giving her primary custody of their children. Their judge threw it out because there was no quid pro quo. She was getting something in the agreement and he was not. (Well, what he was getting wasn't something that could be formally agreed to - her silence)
In their situation, he wanted out as quietly as possible because he had multiple affairs in a manor which would jeopardize his career if brought to the attention of his superiors.