Oklahoma Nesties
BlinkingLight1
member
Dear Community,
Our tech team has launched updates to The Nest today. As a result of these updates, members of the Nest Community will need to change their password in order to continue participating in the community. In addition, The Nest community member's avatars will be replaced with generic default avatars. If you wish to revert to your original avatar, you will need to re-upload it via The Nest.
If you have questions about this, please email help@theknot.com.
Thank you.
Note: This only affects The Nest's community members and will not affect members on The Bump or The Knot.
Our tech team has launched updates to The Nest today. As a result of these updates, members of the Nest Community will need to change their password in order to continue participating in the community. In addition, The Nest community member's avatars will be replaced with generic default avatars. If you wish to revert to your original avatar, you will need to re-upload it via The Nest.
If you have questions about this, please email help@theknot.com.
Thank you.
Note: This only affects The Nest's community members and will not affect members on The Bump or The Knot.
s/o how to talk to little girls
Did your mom/dad ever tell you you're pretty growing up?
I'm pretty sure neither one of mine did. If they did, it wasn't often. However, I've always thought of myself as relatively attractive and I don't have self-esteem issues (well... I have normal insecurities most women have).
So... did your parents tell you that you were pretty when you were a child?
Re: s/o how to talk to little girls
When I was really little but not when I was older. I don't really have body issues and never have. I am what I am, I can't do anything about my body and I didn't figure there was a reason to worry about it. In fact, I never even considered myself as being attractive until I was interviewing for my first "real world" job and a professor of mine told me I needed to ugly it up a bit (same advice I gave to Susan). I thought that was, um, well, odd until I went to the interview and started working in my field.
Mine did, which I am SO grateful for. They did it the most while I was in my ugly (and being mercilously teased for it by the mean girls) phase. Beyond that, we got a normal amount of compliments for appearance, but the words "pretty" and "ugly" described our actions more than our appearance.
My dad was horribly burned over most of his body as a teenager and carries the scars with him to this day. My mom and brother also have visible physical disabilities, so we have some unusual (though pretty healthy, I think) messages about appearance in our family. Without really realizing it, I kind of grew up (minus the jr. high years) thinking that it's our flaws that make us beautiful in many ways, in part because they make us unique and in part because they can reveal our strengths. I mean, yes, sure, I realize that Angelina Jolie is like a perfect human specimine, but I also have grown to love my weird giant nose, because it's the same one that my parents and brother have and it "links" me to them in a way. That doesn't mean that I'm not self conscious about it sometimes (or that they're happy about their differences, either.) It just means we can usually put a positive spin on our flaws.
I realized at a bar with some girlfriends one night that I see a whole lot more people in the world as "attractive" than they do, and maybe because of the above. I mean, again, I understand cultural standards of beauty, but the Elephant Man could walk by and I'd know, logically, that he's not considered to be attractive, but I'd also think, "Wow. He has really kind eyes. They're a pretty shade of green" or "He seems really sweet---that makes him handsome."
my bookshelf!
Bloggy
Ew, no way. She's grossly skinny. I don't want to see your bones, lady.
Yes, of course they did. Both of us. They also told us we were smart, capable, and able to conquer the world if we wanted to.
Mom would even pick out certain things to tell us that were pretty, like my feet. She's weird :P
Despite that, I've never considered myself to be "pretty" in a conventional way. I have mirrors, I know what I look like, and I'm okay with that. Very okay. Because I also consider myself to be very smart, intuitive, and fun to be around, and to me, those are way more important.
I'll be your friend!
That makes me sad, I've been on the receiving end of that situation before and it sucks.
Awwww....thanks! The Nest...cheaper than therapy!