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For the last 2 nights I've dreamed of...
My first serious BF after my divorce almost 4 years ago.
I was completely in love with him, more than I ever was with my exH. He was (and still is) exactly the kind of person I want to be with in my life. Our relationship was great, we never fought, we had so much in common, but he felt like he just couldn't ever make a permanent commitment to me (residuals from his divorce, I believe). He's dated since me, but has been single for a while now (we're friends on FB and talk sometimes, which is how I know).
This has thrown me for a loop. I think it's because of just breaking up with this last guy who was NOTHING like him (who has been telling me how lost he is without me and how much he misses me and has a pipe dream in his head that he wishes we'd get back together, ugh).
I think with the holidays and the breakup and my pending 34th birthday, I'm starting to get really introspective on my relationship future. And yeah, it kinda sucks.
I'd much rather dream of flying pink Oreos or driving in a lake of dishes and silverware, something that makes absolutely no sense whatsoever, than dream of something that sits with me all day. 
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Re: For the last 2 nights I've dreamed of...
All I can offer is ((hugs))
I wish you'd dream of flying pink Oreos too!
Ugh, I hate dreams that haunt you like that.
As for the most recent guy, that would annoy me that he's so clingy and needy. Why are you still talking to him?
Well, he's not really clingy and needy, I think he's just having a hard time. He cared for me a lot more than he realized, he said, and he's also had a shitweek because he found out his ex-wife got engaged, so I think he's taking it a lot worse than he would otherwise. We had gotten pretty close in 4 months, and I do still care about him, so I don't want to ignore him. I think he just needs to wean himself off of "us", and it'll be better after the holidays.