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I think I ruined a little girl's Christmas.
No, I didn't spill about Santa, but this was a classic foot in mouth situation nevertheless.
My aunt and her two daughters were here this past weekend - ages 7 and 12. I was chatting with my aunt and casually said something about her first wedding. She married some douchey French guy when I was about 4. I was in their wedding and it just came up in passing. I don't even remember what I said exactly. She's been married to her current husband for a while, like 15 years, and they adopted their 2 daughters from Russia. Anyway, as I say "first wedding" the 12 year old starts FLIPPING out. Seriously, flipping out. She had no idea her mom was married before and I felt terrible. I did not know that she had kept that marriage a secret or if she ever planned on telling them. I'm sure she would have but was probably waiting until they were older. I mean, the marriage was not a secret from the family. She had a big wedding, everyone was there. I'm 100% sure her current husband knows.
But I still feel bad. She was sweet about it but my cousin was pouting and giving dirty looks the rest of the night. I feel bad, because this guy was very abusive to my aunt and was an all around grade A a-hole, so I can see why she didn't mention it because it would probably require some more explanations. She was sort of trying to explain it while we were there and it was super awkward.
So, lesson learned. Don't bring up first marriages around the holidays. Feel free to share any of your classic foot in mouth scenarios and make me feel better... please.
Re: I think I ruined a little girl's Christmas.
OMG!!! you poor thing. what did your aunt say?
to make you feel better...at my last job coworkers were talking about an ugly sweater party they were going to after our normal office party. Another coworker walks in wearing a really realyl bad christmas sweater (like a huge snowman and the eyes, nose, etc were raised off the sweater, you can see where this is going).
I said whoa that is a great sweater for the party! she said what party? i said xyz's party....meanwhile folks across the room are giving me the NOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO look. yeah...she was wearing that sweater for realz.
i just walked away like i had to talk to someone else.
oh jeez! i'm sorry you had to go through that. i think when family members decide to keep something from their kids they need to let other people in on it!
if this annoying friend of my family's comes to dinner i may say something that will land me in hot water but it may get said anyway :P basically, she is negative and rude and always shows up to family christmas dinners like ten minutes before dinner starts with some rolls and maybe plastic cups or napkins. so if the same happens this year, i may suggest that i was very concerned that we wouldn't have a few rolls and plastic cups for dinner. i told my mother i wanted to say that and she actually said "will you please say that?"
Strug, as the words are coming out of my mouth her eyes got super wide and I was, like, what's wrong? Then her daughter squawks, "Your FIRST WEDDING??!!" I think my aunt just wanted to pretend I was joking but, in context, I did not know how to make it sound like I was joking so I was tongue-tied. I just sat there in shock. My aunt then said something about how the guy was a jerk and that was that, but my cousin wanted more discussion and it was super awkward. The funny part about it was my 7-year-old cousin was right there and she sort of had this funny look and then went right back to explaining to DH about her love for all things American Girl. Ah, that kid has got it right. Denial. Move on.
The kids know they're adopted, right? If not, that could be a big foot-in-mouth moment.
Like that one episode of Friends when Chandler tells the little boy he was adopted, and then annouces that santa isn't real. lol
I have a foot-in-mouth moment daily. These things happen.
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omg! i'd be livid!
and RomeRomance, i'd rather find out at 12 than 20. i promise that you didn't ruin her christmas!
omg! i'd be livid!
and RomeRomance, i'd rather find out at 12 than 20. i promise that you didn't ruin her christmas!
My uncle adopted my aunt's son when he was a baby. My cousin - who is in his 30's - does not know that my uncle is not his biological father. My cousin was not an easy child to say the least and my uncle has never treated him differently than his biological children. When he turned 16 and needed his birth certificate to get his driver's permit, he learned that his birth name was different and blamed my uncle for knocking up his mom and not marrying her until after the baby came. I was really struggling to keep my mouth shut at that point, but I have definitely let things slip on other occasions. Thankfully, he is not too bright and didn't realize the implication of what I said.
We have family friends whose daughter (now in her 20s) was adopted as a newborn; I don't think she knows. I don't think they'll ever tell her. The parents have dark eyes and hair and she's a blue-eyed blond.