Trouble in Paradise
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S/O "This might be the last XYZ"

I don't get the insistence on telling/reminding people that someone is old or sick and might die.

"You definitely want to come to this party because this might be Grandma's last Christmas"

Things like that.

Not only is it morbid, it's downright rude. So the only reason I should spend time with Grandma is because she might die? How about, "it's a holiday, be with your family"? I just don't get it and my MIL says stuff like this about her parents at every..special occasion and has for the past eight years. How about if we just all appreciate every holiday we have together and not dwell all over the fact that we are ALL going to die eventually?

Am I the only one? 

- namaste mothafockaaaas - image

Re: S/O "This might be the last XYZ"

  • Yeah you just never know what will happen - good or bad. Ten years ago my FI thought his dad was going to pass with cancer and he was in real bad shape, but he made it through and is cancer free and has been for a long time. We enjoy every Christmas with him. To assume the worst or even make rude comments like is just totally inappropriate.
  • It's a guilt-trip.  My mom does them so very well.
    This is my siggy.
  • Classic glass-half-empty POV.
  • I think the INTENDED message is 'don't squander time, it's not infinate" but it just comes off "so do what I want because what I ant you to do w/ your time is more important than what you want to do with your time""
  • I agree with you. 

    "Beer is living proof that God loves us and wants us to be happy."
    ~Benjamin Franklin

    Lilypie Third Birthday tickers
    DS dx with celiac disease 5/28/10

  • Guilt, guilt guilt guilt.... or making excuses not to do something else

     

    This phrase always has a hidden agenda.

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  • Yeah, it's rude, guilt-trippy and has been used on me repeatedly in recent years. 
  • My husband's grandmother did this all through her seventies and eighties. Now that she's halfway through her nineties, she's dropped it.
  • Its mean to say something like that. I'm sure you would presumably know if your grandparent or parent or loved one was not doing well. For 3 years straight, we thought each christmas was my great-aunts last. She finally passed away earlier this year (she was rapidly declining mentally and physically).

    Last year my grandma was excited to find out that she would be a great-grandma. She was killed 3 months later and never got meet my son. We all thought my grandpa would have been the first to go. It just shows that you never know.

  • imageXSailoretteX:
    My husband's grandmother did this all through her seventies and eighties. Now that she's halfway through her nineties, she's dropped it.
    SHe pulled this for herself?  "This might be my last ___"?? If so - lovely.  I actually expect my MIL to eventually start doing this.
    "Beer is living proof that God loves us and wants us to be happy."
    ~Benjamin Franklin

    Lilypie Third Birthday tickers
    DS dx with celiac disease 5/28/10

  • imageEastCoastBride:
    imageXSailoretteX:
    My husband's grandmother did this all through her seventies and eighties. Now that she's halfway through her nineties, she's dropped it.
    SHe pulled this for herself?  "This might be my last ___"?? If so - lovely.  I actually expect my MIL to eventually start doing this.

    My MIL will definitely be pulling this someday in the far-off future.

    - namaste mothafockaaaas - image
  • imageBeebeeEater:

    imageEastCoastBride:
    imageXSailoretteX:
    My husband's grandmother did this all through her seventies and eighties. Now that she's halfway through her nineties, she's dropped it.
    SHe pulled this for herself?  "This might be my last ___"?? If so - lovely.  I actually expect my MIL to eventually start doing this.

    My MIL will definitely be pulling this someday in the far-off future.

    My MIL talks about her own mortality incessantly. It's exhausting. I'm surprised my eyes are still attached to my head.

    I agree with everything that muddled said. You should listen to her. -ESDReturns
  • DH's grandmother always says this. MIL claims that grandmother has been saying "this may be my last Christmas" since MIL was 17. 
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  • imageEastCoastBride:
    imageXSailoretteX:
    My husband's grandmother did this all through her seventies and eighties. Now that she's halfway through her nineties, she's dropped it.
    SHe pulled this for herself?  "This might be my last ___"?? If so - lovely.  I actually expect my MIL to eventually start doing this.

    This was the source of a huge fight with the inlaws. Dh's grandmother said, at her 80th Thanksgiving, that she wanted it to be XYZ way since, after all it might be her last Thanksgiving. I piped up with Well if you live till next Tday, can we do it my way next year? And she got REALLY pissed.

    And didn't pull it on me again, either. She's 99 now. Last Thanksgiving my asss.

    SO SINGS MY SOUL *WHAM!* MY SAVIOR GOD TO THEE *WHAM!* HOW GREAT THOU ART *WHAM!* HOW GREAT THOU ART *WHAM!*
  • My FIL pulls this all the time. Every holiday is apparently his last. And when MIL tries to talk about the future, he'll say with a sigh, "I won't be here by then. I just know I will not live that long."
    Or he will ask why we haven't gone with them on vacation in a while, or done X Y or Z, whatever it might be, adding, "I could have been gone by now."

    He's in perfect health, btw...
  • My mom has been trying to guilt me into family stuff for the last several years by saying it'll be my grandma's last one.

     She's still alive. And my mother just sucks. 

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