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S/O: Thoughts on holidays - where do you spend Christmas?
I absolutely love the Christmas season but lately the "where to spend Christmas" has been no fun at all.
How do you break out your time? Do you see both families? Is it important to you to see your family on the actual holiday?
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Re: S/O: Thoughts on holidays - where do you spend Christmas?
OMG I agree!!!
We used to try to do it all - and ended up driving 5 hours on Christmas day one year and I said no freaking way.
Now we split - one family gets Thanksgiving, the other gets Christmas. I try to pair it up with when my SB will be home also. This year we did Thanksgiving with the ILs, will go to my moms Christmas Eve/come back Monday, then head to the ILs Wednesday evening & come back Saturday. That is timed mostly so we can see our godson.
Next year, though, we've decided to be in our house Christmas morning. Not sure what else we'll be doing...I have to survive this year first.
This is (now) the single most stressful part of Christmas. When we lived in Houston it didn't matter. We did our own thing and it was just DH, me, the boy(s) and BIL if he wasn't working and I REALLY miss that. This year... oy.
23rd: my grandma takes everyone (aunts, uncles, cousins) out for a fancy dinner. This is her gift to us.
24th: since my stepmom is being..difficult.. nothing during the day, my mom's side of the family has a huge party in the evening
25th: brunch at BIL's with DH's entire family, back to aunt's (same people as the 23rd) for dinner.
I will see my mom at some point after the holiday to have our celebration because she works Christmas this year. Normally we would see my dad Christmas Eve day.
This is what we have done in the past. We have to fly to see my family, so we really don't have the choice to try and do both. In any case, Thanksgiving is the big holiday for my family; Christmas is bigger for DH's.
When my SIL started saying they were not coming to ILs until Christmas day, we used to get so annoyed because we wanted to see our niece. However, when we had kids of our own we realized we, too, want to be home on Christmas morning and have our kids open gifts at the their own house, from under their own tree.
We have always said that we will be home on Christmas morning so that the kids can wake up and open presents in their own house. We say anyone else is welcome to come, but we're not waiting on anyone.
We usually go to our church Christmas Eve and then to MIL's for dinner, but they'll be at SIL's this year. We are going to open presents and then drive to my Mom's Christmas afternoon to have Christmas dinner there and then come home Monday.
Collin Thayne 10.11.2010
Christmas is pretty easy for us, DH's family always does their big Christmas on Christmas eve, my family does Christmas day. MIL's birthday is the 23rd so we also do dinner with the ILs on the 23rd (which does cut into my last-minute-prep time, but oh well). We do Christmas morning at home then head over to my parents' house around lunch time to eat and do presents and hang out. My parents live ITL and his live in Katy, we live about midway in between, so it's not bad at all.
Thanksgiving is the hard one, there's just no way to spread two giant meals out enough on the same day. We still do both though.
When we first got married we spent Christmas day driving from house to house and it made me insane. We decided never again.
Now we have Christmas Eve dinner at our house. All of our immediate family is invited. We exchange presents with my dad, SIL, and MIL at this time. Christmas morning will be just us. Christmas dinner will be at my mom's, except this year we are just staying home.
We have always spent Christmas with my family. It doesn't matter to me about being home for Christmas morning, to me personally being with my family was more important. It's even easier now that we live 10 minutes apart. I'm not ready to give up christmas with my family and spend it with the ILs,but the issue hasn't really come up. Christmas flying is such a pain and more expensive that DH has never said anything. I can't imagine Christmas without my family traditions as childish as that sounds.
We always do church and pizza on Christmas Eve. Usually someone ends up doing breakfast and then lunch later with the family. This year my mom and dad are going to see my brother in DC but my sister and I will carry on here as normal.
As a kid we always did a walk around the neighborhood looking at lights in our pjs, I think I'll start that again this year with Addie. DH hates looking at lights but maybe we can drag him along.
We alternate between mass with DH's family and candlelight services with mine on Christmas Eve. We've typically done Christmas morning with his family, then lunch as well. Sometimes my parents have been invited and others they aren't, so we have to fit in a later lunch, etc. Running around and fitting everyone in was never a problem when it was just the two of us. Now we have DD and her nap time to think about.
This year we're doing mass with his family and Christmas morning/breakfast with them, too. DD needs her nap and then I planned to spend lunch with my parents. This has caused an uproar since SIL changed plans and isn't attending breakfast. We'll miss each other on Christmas day (and SIL spends Christmas Eve with her ILs.) and it's now drama. Awesome.
Two out of the last three years, I have had a newborn, so we are still working out our new normal.
My family is out of state, so if we visit them, we do Christmas a week early with my in-laws. That would mean "Christmas" morning at our house, then over to their house in the late morning to open gifts, eat, and hang out all day.
If we are in Houston, we do Christmas Eve dinner and church with my in-laws. Santa comes to our house. We have a leisurely morning at our place and enjoy making a mess of things before going to my in-laws' house for the day.
This year is more complicated because my family is flying in for Christmas...but the same general things are happening with a few adjustments.
I guess this is technically my family's "turn" for Christmas, but none of us really follows a schedule for holidays. It helps that our kids are the only kids on either side. Neither of our siblings is married, so we are the only ones who juggle two families. That means everyone pretty much works around us.
We are supposed to split. One with his and one with mine. My parents oblige.
His however will do the holiday with everyone else and then do a repeat with us. It's always fustrated me. I think DH said something this year as we didn't do that for thanksgiving
SIL and I joined forces this year an I'm hosting brunch Christmas day. This way we don't have to pack up 3 kids and drive to Humble. They are just brining their kids over and everyone else is coming down
dh is jewish, so that makes its fairly easy for us.
my dad is coming this year, and at some point we'll see my parents. its been hard to get my mom to let go of "hosting" every year.
i'm having a hard time getting my mom to understand that its a bit awkward for my dad to spend christmas with his ex-wife in her house. she doesn't get it. at all.
We have pretty much always spent Christmas with my family because they live the closest to us. Since DS#1 was born the ILs have come here from Dallas to spend Christmas with us but we still all go to my parent's house. This year, we will probably spend Christmas at our new house, ILs coming in on Friday and my parents (if they don't go out of town) will be coming over on Christmas day...my parents only live 2 miles away though.
I have friends (a married couple) that spends their whole Christmas holiday bouncing from like 4 or 5 different relatives houses (thanks to divorce they have 4 sets of parents to visit then add in some grandparents sometimes). I would never do that. They could come to me! lol
We have always intended to alternate, but it usually ends up being split. This year it was important to us that we spend time with both families since we'll be moving abroad next year.
Which really makes the next few years easy & kind of sad. We'll be alone, in a strange country. If we don't have a baby by next Christmas, we'll probably do a short trip to somewhere in Asia that we want to see.
This year, its Christmas Morning with just our little family of 3.5. Then we'll go to IL's at some point, not sure when at this point as we are trying to work that out with the other brothers.
We really have no "normal" it seems.
The first 4 years, it was an alternating schedule since my family is out of town, we can't really split one day/weekend. We did Christmas with his family the first year, so the next year we went to see my family, repeat, repeat. Thanksgiving is the opposite schedule of Christmas.
This should be my side of the family Christmas but I can't travel and it was too much for my brother to come here so we are having Christmas with the IL's.
We have decided that most years, we will stay here and Christmas morning will always be at our house. DH knows that there will be some years we decide to travel to see my family and that might mean Santa has to find the kids in MS, but for the most part, we'll do Christmas morning at our house.
My parents have learned to be so flexible and I really appreciate that. I hope my IL's will do the same as we all start having kids (we are the only one on that side right now).
For me... Christmas is not the DATE, its being with my family. I'd give anything to have some day around Christmas to be with my brother, his family and my parents but it just doesnt happen that way every year.
For us somehow we totally got lucky. We are able to spend Christmas Eve with my family's side. Then Christmas day with dh's family.
For TG we are easy too. We do TG with my family and then BF with his.
IDK how we got so lucky that our family's are soo easy??? LOVE it!!!