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Not-so-9-to-5 schedules...

DawnMarie11DawnMarie11
in 9 to 5

Are there any other nesties out there who have worked trying or conflicting schedules and might have some advice or encouragement or...anything to say at all, really?

Our situation is this: DH works 10a-4p Monday-Thursday at Job A. At Job B, he works 5p-11p on one or two days Tues-Thurs, plus 11a-5+p Friday (gets out when business slows...in high end restaurant), 2p-5+p Saturdays, and 10a-2:30p on Sundays. Assuming nothing interesting is happening that either job adds hours for.

I work 7p-11p Friday, 7a-11p Saturday, and then 7a Sunday-12:30a Monday. I am also expected to sleep at work on weekends in order to get nearly 8 hours of sleep between shifts. I work in a group home for people with MR.

As a result, DH is mostly home with free time on weekends, when I'm away...and I am mostly home with free time all week while he's at work. I am not a creature made for housewifery, and even though I work full time and have our insurance benefits and make roughly the same amount as DH, I also am a SAHW all week while he gets to go out for bro time on weekends. I know he misses me, but I still feel like I'm being shafted here.

Any advice/thoughts/similar grripes?

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Re: Not-so-9-to-5 schedules...

  • kellbell1919kellbell1919

    I'm not sure I understand the exact problem.  Do you wish you spent more quality time together?  Are you jealous he gets to do fun things while you're gone and you do nothing while he is gone?  Are you looking to change schedules?

    DH and I have worked opposite schedules and spent quality time with friends or alone while the other was gone, then really made the most of our time together when our schedules matched.

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  • Mush-TasticMush-Tastic
    My husband is doing his pre-med coursework Monday - Friday in the mornings and then goes to work from 3-midnight every day after class. Then on weekends he volunteers at a local hospital for 4 hours at a time in the Emergency Dept. I work in nursing and work 12.5 hours shifts, and that involves every 3rd weekend. I see my husband about 3 days a month and we just make the most of it when we have an opportunity to see each other. It sucks, but ya gotta do what ya gotta do to make it in life. I have luckily found that I love training and running so I do that a lot when I have any free time and he's not available. It's important to just keep up with friends, find things to be involved in, and make the most out of every second you do have together.
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  • colorglamorouscolorglamorous
    I must say when I got my current job I didn't think it was going to effect my life and my marriage so much. I am a Substance Abuse Counselor and a Marriage and Family Therapy Intern and work from 5am-1:30pm. My work is 40 minutes away and therefore, I wake up 3:30am just to get ready and leave for work. It was so hard to adjust to my schedule for a good 6 months because I would try really hard to stay awake to spend time with my husband who comes home at 5:30pm. After a while, it was making me feel to exhausted and so I now sleep at 8pm and only spend 3hrs with him daily. It sure is hard but we try to make the best of it and due to my schedule, he somewhat changed around his and gets more sleep lol
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  • DawnMarie11DawnMarie11
    I think all of those are the problem, sort of. And it doesn't help that I really don't see anyone else, either. Most of my friends are still in school because I just finished in May, and they're either behind me or in grad school. Those who are done all work during the day, when I'm free, as do my parents. My hometown is an hour and a half away and I just moved in July, so I don't have any friends in the city that I didn't meet in school yet. I was originally supposed to be in a BSW program on weekdays and working the same schedule I have now, which would have left me with more friends, homework to do during his night shifts and classes during his day shifts. I think knowing that it was supposed to all have a reason and that this schedule was intend to be able to support my class schedule makes me resent being home alone, and it's starting to make me kind of depressed. I can't find a job that isn't in a group home, though.
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