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Back again....
So I posted here in the Fall of 2010 when my H confessed that he had been cheating on me. He still claims to this day that he never slept with anyone, but he talked to many different women online, on the phone and via text. We got back together and then in June 2011 I found out he was up to his same ol sh*t. We were separated and living in the same house for two months. I had seen a divorce attorney and I was confident in my decision to leave. Well in August, H came to me about getting back together and I said the only way I would is if he agreed to go to counseling. We went to five counseling sessions and he appeared to really want to change. We did not attend the last session because the therapist handed us off to another therapist without asking us first and that rubbed me the wrong way so we did not go back.
Lately, I have just had a feeling that he was back to his old self. Even though when I questioned him he of course lied. So I went snooping (even though I know I shouldn't do this, but I just had to know) and low and behold he is back to talking to random girls online. I told him we were done and done for good this time.
We have been together for 9.5 years, and married for 4.5 years. We have been together throughout all of our 20's. We met when we were 20 and we are both 29 now. I am happy to know I am going into 2012 knowing where my relationship lies. Knowing that I don't have to worry myself about what he is doing or the signs that I see that he is up to no good. Thankfully we have no children just one dog.
I have great things to look forward to in my near future, next semester will be my final semester of undegrad and I can't wait. Even though it will be challenging as I will be taking five classes and I work full-time, it will certainly keep me busy.
Re: Back again....
I'm sorry you've found yourself back here. At least you know that you gave him every chance to change, including counseling. Have you filed for divorce yet? You're better off without him--what a good way to start the new year!
As we say around here, onward and upward!
Good luck! you have a lot on your plate but having a clear direction really helps
Welcome back (even though I'm sure you didn't want to have to write all of that). But maybe it was therapeutic in a way, detailing the history of your relationship. After reading what you wrote, I'm sure you're more confident than ever that your H will never change and you should stop wasting time on him.
Here's to better things in 2012!
I haven't filed for divorce yet. I literally found everything out this morning. We own a house together and I requested he move out this weekend, although I know he won't. He is requesting to leave in a month and I am hoping it does not get delayed any longer than that.
I'm really annoyed because during open enrollment I canceled the legal service plan that would have paid for an uncontested divorce. Depending on how much it costs to do it on my own, I may wait until 2013 to file. The legal service plan is $216 for one year.
Ditto. Now when you make your new steps forward, you won't be able to say you didn't try. And although it will likely still be a tough road ahead, hopefully you'll be able to find some peace in knowing that.