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Sex and my DH
I have been lurking here for a bit and I just thought I would share. My DH and I got married almost two months ago and since then we have had sex maybe three times. Before we got married it was more like at least once a week and it hurts to feel rejected. I try not to put any pressure or stress on him, I have being dealing with it, letting him come to me when he wants sex because if I have tried in the past month, he tells me no and pushes me away. We cuddle a lot and kiss, but that's it.
We have talked about this issue and he says this past month he said he is really stressed because of money and even work. He drives a truck for long distances several times a week and I can understand that it does make you feel physically drained and tired. Maybe most of the stress is because of the holidays?
My DH has been at this job since March and since then he has gained 40 pounds. I work the swing shift, so we eat kinda late most of the time. Before he got this job we had sex a few times a week, but then he was thinner.
I don't know what else to do. Any advice?
Re: Sex and my DH
This indeed might be due to adjustment and a couple of other factors thrown in.
And maybe he is also self consious, althought I am pretty sure you'd love him no matter what size he is.
I am sure too that he's exhausted from all the long driving trips. There's a lot here that's going on.
What you need: the both of you to sit down and talk about this issue.
Work on it together; start small.:) You're not expected to be a couple of porn stars swinging from the chandalier right away.:)
I always suggest the "let nature take its course" solution to the problem --- jump in the shower with him or invite him in with you.:) Setting up a nice hot bath with some candlelight music and maybe a light snack -- also try that.
You can also try cooking lighter; you don't have to tell him you are doing this.:) Get a cookbook geared to those who are weight conscious/losing weight -- Weight Watchers has many cookbooks that are good; it's food for all occasions --- get recipes from there and cook away.
What Tarp said,.....
You also need to talk to him about his life out on the road,...not only is driving long distances stressfull at times it's also lonely and boring. This means that his food stops are all important to him and he probably uses the thoughts of the next meal as a method to keep alert and focussed.
A 40 lb weight gain in 8 months is a lot and the long term issues for his health are serious unless he either realises this and acts accordingly or changes to a different job.
It might be a good idea to gently find out what else happens 'on the road',...perhaps the boredom results in excessive masturbation (which apparetnly is common among long distance drivers) or perhaps the roadstop sex industry have had a 'hand' in the situation........
I talked with my DH and he said it is due to holiday stress. I guess I was just venting.
BTW, my husband doesn't go to truck stops. He doesn't drive a semi. He goes to different towns, which are long drives, to fill snack and soda machines.
I can see how it's breaking you down. Maybe heIS exhausted and stressed - LOVE isn't always about sex {even though I believe it plays a huge part} but also initmacy - try just touching him and rubbing him. Maybe a massage in a non sexual way. Maybe you can try to take him to a place that is relaxing & worry free. Keep your friendship & laughter alive. I've only been married for four months & we too went through a rut directly after our honeymoon. We laughed about it but nothing didn't change until I started forcing my eyes to stay open and not go to sleep. We still aren't at it like rabbits as we were before but it's still good. We laugh a lot.