Our tech team has launched updates to The Nest today. As a result of these updates, members of the Nest Community will need to change their password in order to continue participating in the community. In addition, The Nest community member's avatars will be replaced with generic default avatars. If you wish to revert to your original avatar, you will need to re-upload it via The Nest.
If you have questions about this, please email help@theknot.com.
Thank you.
Note: This only affects The Nest's community members and will not affect members on The Bump or The Knot.
Somewhat TIP-ish: Mommy Mode? (Sex Question)
So, H and I have had sex ONCE since Abby was born. It wasn't the horrible experience I was expecting and my libido has returned thankfully. What is suffering is my energy levels and wanting some time to myself, I guess.
I get Abby to sleep and the house is basically put together after a whirlwind day. I have the thought to initiate sex but then when I get towards the bed I'm just beat. I'm talking joints aching, shoulders sore type situation. All I want to do is crawl into bed with H, snuggle and pass out.
H hasn't said anything, but I can bet he would like to have more sex. I know that it probably would be best just to bite the bullet and get busy even though I'm exhausted and I know he is too. I read that this is common when kids enter the picture. We were a three times during the week couple even during pregnancy.
I guess I just have some wife guilt? I feel a little bit body aware, but I'm losing the baby weight very well. My stretchmarks and tire roll thing make me feel a little bit weird, but not necessarily undesirable. H still tells me I'm beautiful and that he wants to get to the practice sessions for #2. He has tried but I feel so bad shooting him down but the idea of sex just makes me feel so tired!
I have the dreaded "list of things" in my head too. I used to be so good at turning it all off and just getting busy. Should we schedule the sex? Doesn't sound sexy, but I have this theory that once I'm in the moment I will be fine, its just getting over the hump.
Advice? H is NOT making me feel like I should be a sexbot, but I feel like it might help my energy levels. On the whole my H has been very very patient with the 6 week wait and all the other things. He helps me around the house without being asked and works a lot of overtime at his job so he can be around more to hang out with Abby. I feel for him because he is tired too and I don't want him to think I'm boycotting sex or anything. Kick me in the butt, TIP.
Re: Somewhat TIP-ish: Mommy Mode? (Sex Question)
Have sex in the morning if you are too tired at night. I read that #1 on a man's list is early morning blowjobs. Get on it
If you don't give your husband sex he will FIND IT SOMEWHERE ELSE!
Oh FFS Black Kitty, go away.
Betty - have you and your H talked about it and how you're just so tired right now and are having a hard time finding the energy? I don't think scheduling it would be a bad idea, at least to get you back into the swing of things.
Good Morning Interrobang! Yes, He is exhausted too and we've discussed how sex is important to us both. We didn't realize how crazy tired we would be. I mean, everyone tells you and you are like, "yeah it will be exhausting!" but the reality is so much more intense.
I am thinking about scheduling. I also got the suggestion for morning sex (Black Kitty, though she is annoying and the second thing she said is BS-- is somewhat on the right track with the morning sex) while the baby is still asleep. I am going to try that.
Thank you!
Right? Isn't this the same one spewing about reading the bible in the other post?
So, troll then, I'm guessing.
fwiw, with us it evened out at 4 or 5 months or so. Up til then it was a combo of general baby-related exhaustion and hormonal issues (which I think is pretty common) up to that point. Now we're back to 2-3 times a week even with the baby-related exhaustion, lol.
If you're just kind of general blahhh try throwing on some lingerie or something to make yourself feel sexy. If you're rolling into bed half asleep, don't be so hard on yourself.
I'm going to ditto everyone else in that its normal and you'll find your groove again. Its hard getting adjusted to everything, especially with sleep deprivation.
You'll get there, don't be so hard on yourself!
No kid related exhaustion here, but I find that the more I have it, the more I want it. So, when I am in a rut, I pick up the vibrator or force myself to seduce H a couple times (sometimes this takes as much effort as actually telling him to seduce me) and it doesn't take too much to get back to normal.
That being said, if you're tired, you're tired. Sleep is important too.
I don't have kids, but I am chronically exhausted. Morning sex is amazing...mostly on weekends. During the work week we either go without or just go for it before dinner.
Afternoon sex is an option too, depending on your baby's nap time
You could both try giving eachother massages as a bit of foreplay.
also, something to remember, sex releases endorphins and such. Even if you start out tired, the chemicals your body produces will give you more energy as you play.