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What is it about "some" guys?

I was just sitting here thinking about previous relationships and started wondering. I'm not sure if I can explain it the way I want it to come out, but I'm going to try.

What is it about some guys that you'll tolerate just about anything for, but others, you won't tolerate lesser things?

I was just thinking about how with one ex, I left my brain at the door and "overlooked" things that were high on my list of things I didn't like. But I was so completely over the moon for him that I pushed it all aside and said I could deal with it all in the long run. Of course, it didn't last because he alternated between being the most loving and caring man on the planet to ignoring me for long periods of time.

But another guy had much fewer issues...but they turned me off to the point where I left him. If Guy A had had those same issues (instead of the ones he had), it wouldn't have mattered at all to me, and I certainly wouldn't have left him, even though they were "leavable" offenses in my mind.

Both guys had great qualities, too...so does it all just come down to chemistry and the biological chemicals floating through our brains that just make us stupid for some guys and more logical for others?

Have you ever had this happen to you? Tell me your stories so I don't feel so bad.

 

Re: What is it about "some" guys?

  • Yes, this happens to me too. It is kind of hard to explain why though.

    Example: Over the summer I was dating this guy that was a pretty good guy but he lived two hours away so when he did something that irked me, I was done with him. It was mostly the distance thing that solidified the decision because if it was a guy that lived local I would have probably put up with it. 

    image BNOTB Awards
  • That's funny, because mine was exactly the opposite. Guy A was out of town and Guy B lived 15 minutes away!
  • I don't think it has anything to do with chemistry. I think it's all about how you learn and grow as a person with experience from your past relationships. Hopefully, you learn the qualities that you really need in a SO, and you learn to recognize qualities that wouldn't be condusive to a happy and healthy long-term relationship.
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  • imagebeansNgreens:
    I don't think it has anything to do with chemistry. I think it's all about how you learn and grow as a person with experience from your past relationships. Hopefully, you learn the qualities that you really need in a SO, and you learn to recognize qualities that wouldn't be condusive to a happy and healthy long-term relationship.

    I agree with this, but in addition, I do think there is a "head over heels" / obsession kind of love that happens sometimes that enables you to overlook certain things.

    My ex and I did have this magnetic, must have each other, cannot live without each other kind of love. I broke all the rules for this man, and I paid for it, dearly. All because I thought we were meant to be together. It was all stupid of me, looking back, and now that I'm older, I realize NEVER EVER to overlook those things again.

    You live, you learn. And it also has to do with the whole mentality of.... "Don't listen to your heart. You must lead your heart to the direction it should go."

    Here's some more commentary I found online that was interesting... here's the website: http://worthyquotez.blogspot.com/2011/03/lead-your-heart-don-follow-it.html

    I know there's a biblical basis for this, but the message is good nonetheless.

     

  • For me, it was personal issues including some insecurity that made me like guys who were charming but not right. Through experience I realized that they weren't quality guys and got to the point where as soon as I saw certain red flags it was a huge turn off. It was only once I started to understand this and work on it that I met dh.
    image "...Saving just one pet won't change the world...but, surely, the world will change for that one pet..."
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