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Losing my mind! Need help!
Hi I'm usually a lurker but I'm having a really hard time with something that is going on. My H is back from bootcamp for Christmas Exodus and the first two to three days were great. I was excited to be with him and have him home. After I went back to work, which is very slow right now, I'm starting to overthink EVERYTHING!! I have done this in the past, especially (spelling?) when I was not busy. I've never had it this bad before, even before we were married and just dating.
I'm overthinking that I love him enough and that its not fair for him that I'm thinking about this. He's a amazing man, would give me the world, and is soooo understanding. I love him to death and that's why this is driving me nuts. If you love someone you shouldn't think like this! I've told him what I'm going through and he understands but he doesn't know how to help me.
Now all my friends and family I have talked to about this, say I've always been very hard on myself, I always look for the bad in something when there isn't anything there, and that I need to take it one day at a time. I hear it but for some reason my brain just doesn't want to listen. It's like my brain wants to ruin this for NOOO reason. Now, I see myself having kids with him, I'm excited about this new life we are starting and I miss him sooo much when he is gone. So I feel like a total crazy person!! How can I feel all of this and still be overthinking it!!
I'm sorry this got soo long and I'm just jumping around. I read it back and I sound like a 18 year old who doesn't have any self esteem. I'm 28 and we've been 2 years today! Please tell me I'm not the only one who thinks like this sometimes. If you got this far I appreciate it!
Re: Losing my mind! Need help!
What are your concerns, I guess I'm not really picking them up from your post. You don't think that you love him as much or at all? Are you having problems? Is it just that he's been away? It can be hard sometimes when you're back together, especially when it's just for a short period.
I think if we knew more what the problem is, we can help you talk through it better
I changed my name
28/100
LittleL 8/10/07
Baby E 11/27/10
Check out my makeup and reading blog:
Books and Beauty
I'm sorry I guess I didn't make myself clear with all my mumbled thoughts. I think I don't love him as much as I should if that makes sense. That I should be soooo happy and not feel this doubt from overthinking.
No we aren't having any problems, we talk when we have a problem, we haven't fought or anything. It seems like I putting too much pressure on myself that we have a great care free time while he's back that I'm overthinking everything. While he was gone I missed him soo much, and couldn't wait until he got back. Now he's back and I'm feeling guilty for doubting/overthinking.
Does that make sense? Cause I feel like I'm going crazy!!
Thanks for any help!
You say you've had this second guessing issue since before you were married? Have you ever seen a counselor (not a pastor) about this?
I see where Ojo is going with this, very well put. Marriage isn't always going to feel like overwhelming with heart bursting love. And that's ok. I'm totally an over analyzer in my own life, so I get where you're coming from. I caution you about over thinking this and convincing yourself you don't love him enough based on having too much time to think about things.
My advice would be to enjoy this time with your H and then when he's back in training give yourself some time to think. I'd actually think about your tendency to over analyze things or fixate on things so much you miss what's really going on. Having a therapist or someone to talk to about it could help you immensely. Not that you're 'crazy' or anything like that, but a therapist can help be a sounding board to talk it out. Military one source is an excellent source for that, I think you can get 6 sessions per 'issue' free
I changed my name
I have to disagree. Boot camp is the first big separation & it's harder than deployment for many people.
I used to feel that way a lot more than I would like to admit now. E and I sat down and talked about it. It comes down to everyone gives and feels love differently. You might not feel like your love is enough but its probably exactly what he needs. Only you know how to love him they way that you do and that is a really special thing.
So I guess what I'm saying is sit down and talk to your H. Hopefully that eases your mind some.
28/100
LittleL 8/10/07
Baby E 11/27/10
Check out my makeup and reading blog:
Books and Beauty