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I was doing so well today until....(ETA: update)
XH has DS for the holiday.
I received a call about 20 minutes ago from XH. I was thinking it'd be an update on how DS is feeling (since he is sick with bronchiolitis). No. It was a butt dial, so he didn't even realized he called, but it's a 2 minute long recording of DS SCREAMING at the top of his lungs like I've never heard before. I can hear XH in the background saying he's throwing up his hands and doesn't know what to do. Then I hear him walk out of the house to have a smoke. (I think I can hear other people in the house, so I don't think DS was left alone when he went outside).
I called XH back and got ignored twice; I then left a voicemail saying I received a voicemail and all I could hear was DS crying and I wanted to see how he was feeling. XH is refusing to call me back.
I feel like I need to throw up. My poor sick baby is crying so hard he's gasping for air and all I want is to go pick him up and bring him home. I was doing SO well today too. ::cue breakdown::
ETA: XH called back SIX hours later, saying he had just noticed he had a voicemail (a lie - he ignored my phone call each time. Plus, he's one of those people who has their phone with them at all times and looks at it every 20 seconds - especially when he is smoking). I pick up the phone and I hear "He's fine!" in a condescending, angry tone. It turned into him insinuating what a service he was doing in even bothering calling me back and how he shouldn't have wasted his time since I was (cue devilish laugh from him) "just being me" and causing a fight on Xmas. I think he got some kick out of not calling me back, knowing how worried I must have been and having that power over me.
Oi vey... the fury I feel in times like that is unhealthy. In the new year, I'll be working to let that roll off my back better, but it's SO HARD.
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Re: I was doing so well today until....(ETA: update)
{{{hugs}}}
I leave tomorrow morning to drive across the state and pick him up at noon. I'm sure it was just that he was exhausted and was 2.5 hours late for his nap, but since he was sick, it sure would have been nice for XH to have the decency to call me back and tell me he's doing OK and isn't even sicker.
What an ass. He sounds like my STBX. He always takes my care and worry for our children personally and makes it about him. You're well shot of this jerk. I'm glad your DS is coming home today.
He had 48 hours. I have no proof that DS's well being is linked to XH's issues, so in the eyes of the court, he should actually get MORE time with DS than what he does. It's awful. I know he drives with DS w/o a license, at pick up last time he announced his trailer didn't have heat so they had to stay elsewhere overnight, but nothing can be directly linked to him being a bad father or putting DS in danger and I end up coming off as a conniving XW who is trying to get him out of the picture.