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I've got holiday blues

H had duty today. I knew he was going to miss Christmas eve, but I was okay with that because he said he'd get off early Sunday morning and be back in time to see me doing several solo pieces for my church's Christmas music program. I've been particularly excited about this because aside from karaoke and singing random shiiiit around the house H has never really seen me perform like I used to.

He called me an hour or so ago and basically said that some idiot in his division did something dumb and got in trouble so the CO said all of them have to stay on the ship until 5pm on Christmas.

I am so ridiculously bummed about this- even though I know it wasn't his fault. I'm upset that I'm always there to support him in whatever he does, but the one time I really want him to be there to support me doing what I love he can't because of one person's bad decisions. I feel like by this point I should have gotten used to having all the plans we make change at the last minute, but it still hurts.

 

Thanks for letting me vent :(

:drinks alcoholic egg nog: 

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Re: I've got holiday blues

  • I am so sorry this happened. Look on the bright side, at least you will get to see him although it will be late that day. It's better than him being deployed right now and you not see him at all for Christmas. Don't worry I'm sure he will rush home. Merry Christmas.Smile
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  • After years of being held accountable for the sake of being "good Wingmen," it hasn't gotten easier and it still chaps my rear when our plans are messed up because of other people's stupidity.

    I'm sorry your husband is missing your performance.  I'll keep my fingers crossed that the ghosts of Christmas past bring the CO a change of heart. 

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  • imageKiller Cupcake:


    I think that CO is a douchecanoe for making everyone pay for that on Christmas weekend. Especially the married ones.

    I heartily agree. My FB page is flooded with p!ssed off statuses from other wives on his ship. I'm feeling a little selfish because I didn't even think about the sailors that have kids that will now be missing Christmas morning with them. 

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  • imageshinece:
    I am so sorry this happened. Look on the bright side, at least you will get to see him although it will be late that day. It's better than him being deployed right now and you not see him at all for Christmas. Don't worry I'm sure he will rush home. Merry Christmas.Smile

    Not helpful.

    ::gavel:: 

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  • imageMrsOjoButtons:

    imageshinece:
    I am so sorry this happened. Look on the bright side, at least you will get to see him although it will be late that day. It's better than him being deployed right now and you not see him at all for Christmas. Don't worry I'm sure he will rush home. Merry Christmas.Smile

    Not helpful.

    ::gavel:: 

    How did I know there was going to be someone giving me an insensitive "at least...." ?

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  • Boo hiss! Part of me is really glad that DH's boat has the holidays set up differently, so something like that would only probably affect half the crew at a time. I've got to agree that it really does suck when one person's actions have that kind of affect on so many other people. When a crew is big enough like that there's always going to be a couple losers who are too dumb to tie their own shoes.

    Here's to 5pm coming as soon as possible!

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  • imageshinece:
    I am so sorry this happened. Look on the bright side, at least you will get to see him although it will be late that day. It's better than him being deployed right now and you not see him at all for Christmas. Don't worry I'm sure he will rush home. Merry Christmas.Smile

    Yeah I totally agree with the not helpful comments.  As someone who is on her second Christmas in a row with an H on deployment, at least I know and can accept that there is nothing that I, H, or anyone else can do about it at this point.  

    However when we finally have a Christmas together again next year (fingers crossed), if someone effed up and they kept the whole department there on Christmas day I would flip my shiit.  

    Sorry to hear that Mary.  Hopefully things look up for you tomorrow.  

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  • Uuuugh. Mary I am so sorry. ::passes adult egg nog to Mary:: What a terrible thing to do to. I don't know what the guy did to mess up, but keep families away from each other on Christmas is a terrible idea.

    Can your church record the performances for you? So he can see them when he gets home? It won't be the same, but it might be nice. 

     

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  • I am sorry that this happened. I know it doesn't help much but I hope Christmas Karma bites that dumb somebody in his arse. He clearly needs it. I hope your holidays get better :)
  • I would egg the CO's house. 
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  • imageKiller Cupcake:

    imageshinece:
    I am so sorry this happened. Look on the bright side, at least you will get to see him although it will be late that day. It's better than him being deployed right now and you not see him at all for Christmas. Don't worry I'm sure he will rush home. Merry Christmas.Smile

    :/

    The fact that he COULD be deployed is exactly why it sucks. It sucks that he's home and was going to be able to spend Christmas day with his wife, seeing her perform, and doing whatever else they had planned. 

    Having plans that were suddenly kanked because some dumbass couldn't be a grown up for 72 hours and because some CO is on a power trip sucks worse than knowing that your H won't be there at all anyway.  

    Did you really just play the who has it worse card? :-p 

    I keep my mouth shut on most things with the board these days because I generally have an unpopular opinion, but I wouldn't say that having him in a safe environment is worse than in BFE potentially being shot at. Just my two cents.

    Either way, it doesn't matter. Regardless of where the spouse may be, they are not with their families and it sucks all around.  I say we take a cue from Mary and drink some alcoholic eggnog. What's the emoticon for martini's again?

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  • imageBrandienee85:

    Can your church record the performances for you? So he can see them when he gets home? It won't be the same, but it might be nice. 

     

    Unfortunately no. While H was deployed I did a solo piece and asked if my parents could record it so I could send it to him but they said they don't allow their services to be taped :( 

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  • Damn that sucks Maryboo, I hope the CO has a change of heart and sends everyone home earlier than 5pm.  This is not the time for the CO to be on a power trip especially with the ship just getting back.
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  • That blows, Mary. ::passes more eggnog and hugs::
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  • imageMaryboo247:
    imageBrandienee85:

    Can your church record the performances for you? So he can see them when he gets home? It won't be the same, but it might be nice. 

     

    Unfortunately no. While H was deployed I did a solo piece and asked if my parents could record it so I could send it to him but they said they don't allow their services to be taped :( 

    And that's a massively douchey decision from your church.  Telling a deployed soldier's wife that she can't record her performance to send to her husband on Christmas is appalling.

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  • imageMaryboo247:
    imageBrandienee85:

    Can your church record the performances for you? So he can see them when he gets home? It won't be the same, but it might be nice. 

     

    Unfortunately no. While H was deployed I did a solo piece and asked if my parents could record it so I could send it to him but they said they don't allow their services to be taped :( 

    Wow. I haven't heard of that before. I guess I'm so used to other churches. My parents' church tapes every service and puts it up as a web stream later. And anybody who wants a copy of a service can have one.

    FWIW, I showed DH your OP and he thinks that was a bad leadership decision. Some other day maybe, just not on Christmas Day.

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  • imageKiller Cupcake:
    imageSpunkyBlowfish:
    imageKiller Cupcake:

    imageshinece:
    I am so sorry this happened. Look on the bright side, at least you will get to see him although it will be late that day. It's better than him being deployed right now and you not see him at all for Christmas. Don't worry I'm sure he will rush home. Merry Christmas.Smile

    :/

    The fact that he COULD be deployed is exactly why it sucks. It sucks that he's home and was going to be able to spend Christmas day with his wife, seeing her perform, and doing whatever else they had planned. 

    Having plans that were suddenly kanked because some dumbass couldn't be a grown up for 72 hours and because some CO is on a power trip sucks worse than knowing that your H won't be there at all anyway.  

    Did you really just play the who has it worse card? :-p 

    I keep my mouth shut on most things with the board these days because I generally have an unpopular opinion, but I wouldn't say that having him in a safe environment is worse than in BFE potentially being shot at. Just my two cents.

    Either way, it doesn't matter. Regardless of where the spouse may be, they are not with their families and it sucks all around.  I say we take a cue from Mary and drink some alcoholic eggnog. What's the emoticon for martini's again?

    Not at all, but I do see where I said that and I should have added an IMO, because honestly, having H in the states and not being able to spend time with him is worse to me than knowing that I can't see him at all anyway.

    I'll say instead that it sucks just as much. The fact that he is home and they were planning on being able to spend Christmas together is exactly why it sucks. It sucks when they're not here and it sucks when they are here and they can't spend time with you because their liberty was cancelled because of some moron. 

    The other person was pulling the who has it worse card by at leasting Mary.

    So she started it. lol! 

    I'm not sure if I'm following this all correctly. . . But I think that I'm with KC. Maryboo *thought* she was going to get to spend time with her DH, including him seeing her perform. When my DH was deployed, I *knew* we weren't going to be together, even though it was our son's first Christmas. Knowing that other peoples' actions and subsequent repercussions screwed me out of important plans on Christmas would piss me off. I mentioned in Ojo's post that hope can be a cruel emotion.

    I agree that the CO choose the wrong day to teach a lesson. Grace for others would have been greatly appreciated and shown those who report to him/her that their time and families are valued. Consequences could have been carried out on Monday or Tuesday. Though, I do wonder if the person who screwed up thought that he'd receive leniency because it was Christmas. Regardless it SUCKS.

    Mary, I'm sorry that this has happened. I would think that even a "veteran" military spouse would be disappointed. Hang in there.
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  • imageKiller Cupcake:


    You're following me. I think it sucks that she had a plan to spend Christmas with her husband and had them taken from her by no fault of her or her H's own, especially when we all know that these holidays shouldn't be taken for granted. If her H was deployed, there would have been a let down, but not the night before, unless she was totally delusional. But like I should have said before, I think it's worse FOR ME when H is within reach and I can't spend time with him than when I know we're not going to be able to spend time together already. H has been deployed during Christmas and I was bummed, but if he was called in for duty today, I would have been super bummed. 
    Long term, nobody is going to argue that deployments suck worse than your SO getting suck on duty as part of a collective discipline action.

    But, when your SO is deployed, you *know* that you will be separated for that period of time and the holidays, birthdays and anniversaries that happen then. To have your SO home from deployment (and very recently so, for Mary and her DH), to have plans for what is, for many (at least most Christians) one of THE most important holidays of the year (which, furthermore, falls on a Sunday this year) and to have those plans ruined because some jack$$ screwed up and the CO decided to be an extreme harda$$, IMO, is a HUGE, one day, short term hit. Yes, I'd rather my DH be home and not deployed, but if, last minute, he's going to miss our holiday plans, for me, the deployed Christmas missed hurts less.

    And in case I was not abundantly clear, these are solely my feelings and opinion (and maybe KC's).
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  • I'm sorry Mary!
    I've seen a lot of military surprise homecomings. It wouldn't work on me. I always have my back to the corner and my face to the door. Looking for terrorists, criminals, various other threats, and husbands.
  • imageshinece:
    I am so sorry this happened. Look on the bright side, at least you will get to see him although it will be late that day. It's better than him being deployed right now and you not see him at all for Christmas. Don't worry I'm sure he will rush home. Merry Christmas.Smile

    Her H just got back from being deployed.  The fact that they were going to be able to spend this holiday together and  now it was taken away because of some asss is why it sucks so much for her.  Thanks for throwing that out there though.  I'm sure it makes her feel loads better. 

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  • It REALLY sucks when one bad apple ruins it for everyone. Especially when he just got home...and the other guys on his ship with children who were probably so looking forward to having their Dad home with them on Christmas morning, ugh. That CO did make a poor decision, bad move buddy. I'm sorry, Mary, I hope your Christmas ended on a better note.
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  • imageiluvmytxrgr:

    imageshinece:
    I am so sorry this happened. Look on the bright side, at least you will get to see him although it will be late that day. It's better than him being deployed right now and you not see him at all for Christmas. Don't worry I'm sure he will rush home. Merry Christmas.Smile

    Her H just got back from being deployed.  The fact that they were going to be able to spend this holiday together and  now it was taken away because of some asss is why it sucks so much for her.  Thanks for throwing that out there though.  I'm sure it makes her feel loads better. 

    ITA.

    I'm sorry about this BS Mary, but I hope y'all have a good evening tonight. 

  • I'm just curious, was it an LDS church that wouldn't allow recording?
    I've seen a lot of military surprise homecomings. It wouldn't work on me. I always have my back to the corner and my face to the door. Looking for terrorists, criminals, various other threats, and husbands.
  • I would love to know exactly what was done to deserve the Christmas scroogery? 

    Now, I know that not all commanders are like this, but even our LAST base commander, who was/is an ass, would never had allowed something like this to happen on a holiday.  Not unless it was REALLY AND TRUELY a bad incident that needed immediate recourse.  

    And I can tell you that our current base commander would have ripped any squadron commander a new one for doing something like this on a holiday.   

    So, while it sucks and is totally. It fair, I reserve my final judgement until I know what prompted this.   

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  • imageWishIcouldbeinthe'stan:
    I'm just curious, was it an LDS church that wouldn't allow recording?

    Yep and I don't understand why since the LDS church broadcasts stuff all the time. When I asked they said sometimes they make special exceptions (like they recorded the kids yearly singing program to send to the ward of one of our missionaries in South America where there weren't enough kids to do it) but apparently my case wasnt special enough.

    The guy that told me no was also the guy who told me I'd regret marrying a non-member, so maybe his douchery is related to that. 

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  • Anyways, while the guys weren't allowed to leave the ship- we were allowed to come on so after church my sister and I drove out there and hung out with H until he got off.

    I'm still disappointed that he missed me singing, but we did get to spend time together. 

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