Our tech team has launched updates to The Nest today. As a result of these updates, members of the Nest Community will need to change their password in order to continue participating in the community. In addition, The Nest community member's avatars will be replaced with generic default avatars. If you wish to revert to your original avatar, you will need to re-upload it via The Nest.
If you have questions about this, please email help@theknot.com.
Thank you.
Note: This only affects The Nest's community members and will not affect members on The Bump or The Knot.
BF's mom offered to pay...(long!)
My legal fees...for bankruptcy and my divorce!
Alright, back story time. My STBXH was a gambling addict, and when I left him I obviously wasn't in a great financial situation. He also told me that since I left him I will have to pay for the divorce...whatever.
My BF is currently renting a two bedroom house with his best friend and his best friend's fiance. They will be getting married in March, and plan to move out..leaving my BF with a very high rent. Him and I had been talking about my son and I moving in with him, however, I would like to get my finances under control, and my divorce at least filed.
Yesterday BF was talking to his mother about trying to find a new room mate after his leave...she of course assumed that my son and I were going to be moving in. When he told her about my goals, she offered to pay my legal fees for both bankruptcy and my divorce if I use the same attorney she suggested my BF for his custody battle with his daughter, and that I could make a monthly payment with to her without any interest....
He called me at my office, and thank goodness I was alone, because I started crying, I have never had anyone offer such a kindness to me. However, I have yet to say yes or no...I'm trying to weigh out the pros and cons of the situation...and some input would be nice.
Re: BF's mom offered to pay...(long!)
I don't know if this is the input you are looking for, but you really need to slow things down with this guy.
According to your intro post, you have only been dating him since September, a lot of the women here wait longer than that to even introduce their child to the man they're dating. It is way too fast to be thinking about moving your child in with him.
It's been less than a year since your split with your H, assuming that you were with your child's father before that, this would be the third man he'd be living with, that is a lot for a five year old to deal with.
I would decline his mother's offer and focus on taking care of yourself & your son. I wouldn't even think about moving in with him for another year or more.
Good luck.
Here is a link to the intro post: http://community.thenest.com/cs/ks/forums/thread/61069413.aspx
I know you didn't ask this, but I think it is too soon to live with the new guy and you should politely turn down his mother's offer.
Wait, you haven't even FILED for divorce and are thinking about moving in with another man(who you have only been dating for 4months) AND there is a child involved?
Turn down the offer and don't move in with the boyfriend. You should not attach yourself AND your child to this man so soon.
Yikes I'm with the other posters on this. Decline her offer and take five minutes will ya? It is irresponsible to be exposing your son to this revolving door of father figures. Think about what this is teaching him and doing to his emotional well being. Three months is REALLY fast to be talking about moving in together, especially with a child involved. You have yet to even FILE for divorce. Take your time with this new relationship and don't force it into insta-family. I would also recommend doing some reading on codependency. I don't mean this to be harsh, but you should really take a step back here.
Your child shouldn't even know this guy exists.
Let me recap. You haven't even filed yet and you're planning to move in with your BF of less than 6 months and you have a child? And plan to owe a significant amount of money to his mother? Where in the universe are you guys living?! Must be on planet Dumby Dumbers.
Slow the eff down woman! I can't tell you not to date because what's done is done but live on your own for a while to make sure your BF is serious material, also file for divorce and turn down the money offer.
Please rethink your future living situation. For me, it would be way to soon.
But the loan may be worthwhile to take. Is it under 5G - could you pay her back within a year?
Another thought, why is she being so helpful/nice? Maybe she knows something, about her son.... could be a red flag (sorry I'm super paranoid)
Clean up your last mess before you start a new one!
Have you learned nothing?