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When did you learn/teach your kids about gratefulness?
Other inspiration for this question:
My husband's niece turned 5 two days before Christmas. We went over there after she had been out of town visiting her other Grandma and she opened her "Birthday gifts" on December 24, and then her "Christmas Gifts." Niece was in a TERRIBLE mood. DH's sister kept excusing her about how she was crabby because she hadn't slept well at Grandma's and hadn't had a nap. Okay, that's excusable. Hell, I get fussy when I'm tired.
When it came time to open gifts it was like she was dam near bipolar. She'd open a gift, then when that was it she'd say "That's IT?!? That's ALL my GIFTS?!" and stomp out of the room, crying and sobbing like she's just had her right foot amputated. Someone would say "Hey, there's another gift" and suddenly she'd laugh and skip back in the room "OKAY!" This repeated itself several times, through Birthday and Christmas gifts. Her mother said nothing. Finally I couldn't help myself anymore (pregnancy hormones, y'all) and said "You need to stop stomping away or Uncle Rob and I will be returninng your gift to the store so a child who appreciates it can get it." Yeah, I know, I'm the mean aunt.
I just couldn't believe her mom wasn't saying anything. NOBODY was saying anything, they all just laughed it off. Had I been acting like that, even as young as five, my mother would have been mortified and whispering in my ear that if I don't say thank you I will get knocked into next week. <---- exaggeration, of course.
So, when were you taught how to be gracious with presents (quantity and quality)? When did you or when will you teach your children about it?
Re: When did you learn/teach your kids about gratefulness?
Wow! That article - the language of those kids and complete ungratefulness. My child would not be getting another present of any type for a very long time if I saw that.
We'll try to start early with basics like please and thank you. And having our child select unused toys to donate. I'm not totally clear on childhood development so not sure about ages, but definitely before 5. As they get older, we'll take them to volunteer with us at a soup kitchen.
As for me - we never really had a lot, so it was a lesson easily learned. I can still remember being around 8 or 9 and my cousin crying and screaming because he didn't like a gift that I had given him for Christmas (that I paid for with my own money). That was all the lesson I ever needed about how to not hurt a gift-giver's feelings. (It was this cool bank that was a can of paint pouring out and it stood on the paint.)
That's terrible. And sadly, it reminds my a lot of my nieces (aged 4 and 7, which is IMO old enough to know better).
I think most of the kids here are still too young to "get it" but I know we at least are working on manners like saying please and thank you already.
I think you have to blame the parents in a situation like that...
Our crazy, wonderful life
Wow!
Taryn has very good manners, and it was something we started when she was able to talk (obviously couldn't say "please" or "thank you" right away, but we would enforce it). We make sure we always say "please" and "thank you" around her, and she's pretty good at remembering to say those herself, but we do have to remind her sometimes.
At Christmas, she kept saying "I wanna open more presents" and I know she's only 2.5, but we already started to tell her not to expect presents all the time and make sure you say thank you. I wasn't embarrassed or upset when she would keep asking for more gifts because she's still so little, but I figured it's better to start teaching her now! If she acted like that at 5, present opening would stop immediately and not start again until she apologized for her behavior and said thank you for the gifts she had already received. It's really important to me to have kids with good manners.
That's just wrong, to not even acknowledge the lack of manners. My niece is that way. Her parents laugh and say she's just a Diva. Um... no, she's a brat. I love her, but she's a brat.
We try with manners every time we speak with Alex, or around her. It's a good reminder for us when speaking with each other. We will say please and thank you. When she asks for something and she just says "Get it" which she will, we will just say, "that's not how you ask for something" and we won't acknowledge the request until she can say it politely.
Cranky, overtired only excuses so much.
This is us exactly. She's still young but already knows that please gets her things way more quickly.... She'll say it on her own. Thank you comes more so after we remind her to say it when appropriate, and even then it's lately become "thankyouwelcome!" as one word.... We've still got some work to do there.
Like you said dehko, my parents never would have let that one fly & no way will I let my kids act like that.
We learned manners very early on growing up. Many of my cousins were like the kids described above so my parents worked hard to show us manners, kindness and being grateful.
Liam already says please and thank you. On occassion, he does forget. However a simple reminder helps. We always speak to him and add in please, thank you, and your welcome. Recently, he started saying Bless You, that came out of nowhere when DH sneezed the other day! I hope that we are on the right track.