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Another granny update

I can't begin to tell you how hard it is to watch someone so close to you just suffer a long drawn out process. Granny is literally drowning in her own body. Her chest cavity is filling with fluid, and it's collapsing her lungs. They can't tap it to draw out the fluid because her blood is too thin from the Coumadin. If they stop the Coumadin, she might have a stroke because they can't control the afib her heart is in very well. It's just a no win situation, and even though we and she knows what's coming, it's hard to sit with her and see her so weak, and so scared at the same time. Throu all of this, my mom has been a complete nightmare. We tried putting granny on a rehab floor in a facility, let's just say that joint was a nightmare, and we jailbroke her out of there and went straight back to the hospital (that's a whole other story, you girls would be so irate about how they treated her) it's so hard, and I am so emotionally spent I'm just kinda hanging on, and I feel so torn between spending time with my own kids and husband, verses sitting by her bedside. The guilt is overwhelming.  It's been so dramatic, that my aunt signed over power of attorney to me, so I can make all the decisions, and deal with the crazies in my family. Her own brother (mentally unstable brother) was making death threats against her. It's just been absolutely nuts. I don't know where I'm going with this whole post, I guess I just wanted to get it out in the universe and just vent. If she gets out, and we get her home on hospice, I will spend her last dime, and mine, making sure she has the best care and is comfortable. I kinda hope she has no money left at the end of this, so my *** family will see that it's not about the money, and that they aren't getting shitt. 

Re: Another granny update

  • First of all, ((hugs))

    Second, you need to FB or text me. Remember, David works in a nursing home in CB -- I don't know which one you had a bad time with (although, I have a feeling I do), but I know that David's nursing home has patients that are on Hospice and in the home. He said the other night that there are beds available -- maybe that would give YOU a break, and lighten your load a little.

    Third, if you need help with your kids, I'm 5 minutes from you. If you need anything -- even just a trip to the store or a shower! - call me!

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  • Hugs. I'm sorry you are going through this. I am also available if you need help with your kiddos. I'm home all day most days  so feel free to ask! I will keep you all in my prayers!
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  • I'm so sorry. Glad granny has to to watch out for her. I only work 3 days/week and can help with your kiddos on my days off. P.S. Brookstone in Elkhorn is the Taj of rehab/skilled nursing on this side of the river. It's on the other side of the planet from you, but its seriously the only place that doesn't smell like a nursing home to me.
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  • I don't post on here very often so you and I don't know each other at all, but I do know somewhat what you're going through (minus the crazy family stuff).  My father suffered from ALS and since my mom passed away a few years ago, I was power of attorney for him and my sister and I were his sole caregivers.  And it sucks SO bad to see someone you love suffering.  And I do understand the guilt - not being able to be there all the time.  When I wasn't with him, I felt SO guilty.  But in the end, I had to take care of myself in order to take care of him, you know? 

    Anyway, I don't know what I'm saying here either, other than I get it.  If it comes down to hospice, we placed dad at the Josie Harper Hospice House by Bergan.  We were scared to put him there (or any hospice) because we were afraid of how he would be treated.  The nurses and doctors there were SO amazing.  The facility is homelike and there's even a playplace for kids if you need to bring your kiddos up.  They did everything they could to make him comfortable and treated him with respect, which was one of our biggest concerns.  They were with us when my dad passed and held his hand with us. 

    I'm so sorry you're going through this.  I hope you are able to get her the care she needs during this time.  Hugs!

  • I'm so sorry, Tiff.  Your Granny is so lucky to have you in her life.  You've got SO many people who will help you through this (including everyone on this board!).  You are taking on so much...don't be too proud to ask for help.

    You're in my prayers.  ((hugs))

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  • Thinking about you. My advice is spend as much time with her as possible you know it is short lived. Your hubby and kids will understand as they will have 100% off your attention back soon. And if you need a break (assuming you are at bergan) I am right up the street, you can drop off kids for a little bit or just come over for a drink to get out of the hospital but not drive all the way home (cold beer in the fridge). I'm seriously 5 minutes away.
  • I'm so sorry Tiff. Spend all the time you can with granny, your boys will understand. If you need help with the boys I can totally come up with Jude some day to help you out. Just call :-)
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  • So sorry to hear this. My grandma has the same issue with her blood and blood thinners. Very scary stuff. Glad to hear they are getting the power of attorney in your name because you definetly know what is best for her. And even if you don't think so, your granny knows what is going on and should be very proud of you. Just don't be afraid to ask for help and enjoy every moment with her.
  • Sorry to hear this, Tiff. Thanks for the update. Thoughts and prayers abound.

     I would echo PPs who said good things about Hospice. My mom (retired a few months ago) was a nursing administrator for Home Health Care/Hospice in my hometown. Hospice staff and their whole philosophy is wonderful.

    Hope you find some peace with the situation soon.

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  • I'm so sorry Tiff.  My sweet grandma is declining rapidly and just decided to end her cancer treatments.  It's so so so hard to see her suffering and know that she wants to be free, yet she's so scared.  And the family is starting to circle her like vultures.  I could kick people's teeth out.  I'm so glad that you're stepping in to be the strong sane one who's focusing on granny and what SHE needs.  I'm praying for her comfort and for your peace.
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  • I'm sorry Tiff.  I know how hard it is to watch someone suffer up till their final moments.  Your grandma appreciates everything you are doing for her and I'm sure your love and support is making this difficult time for her more peaceful. 

    Your family is in my prayers. 

  • You are doing all the right things for your Granny. She will always know the love & respect you have shown her, even if she can't express it now - she knows. Let the douchey family members duke it out in another room - you stay with her as much as you can & just try to enjoy your time with her. You are doing everything you can for her, try to take comfort in that & trust that hopefully this new staff will take care of all of her physical needs. I am so sorry to hear about all this, not only her illness but all the family stress compounded on top of it. We are all thinking of you & I will keep your Granny in my prayers.
  • I am so sorry Tiff. 

    We're here for you if you need us. 

  • She's so lucky to have you. Best wishes during this terribly hard time.

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