Starting Over
Dear Community,

Our tech team has launched updates to The Nest today. As a result of these updates, members of the Nest Community will need to change their password in order to continue participating in the community. In addition, The Nest community member's avatars will be replaced with generic default avatars. If you wish to revert to your original avatar, you will need to re-upload it via The Nest.

If you have questions about this, please email help@theknot.com.

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Note: This only affects The Nest's community members and will not affect members on The Bump or The Knot.

New here...

Hi everyone. My name is Jenny. I'm new here. Just found out last night that my boyfriend of a year and a half was dishonest with me, and I am just really confused and heartbroken.

He left his email open and I saw an email from him to another woman wherein he asked her out on a date. She told him know bc she knew he had a girlfriend and he write her back saying sorry he was confused about stuff and he would be lucky to date someone as awesome and beautiful as her and he apogized to her.wtf.

I confronted him and told him he needs to tell me why he would ever think its appropriate to ask another girl out while he was in a committed relationship, and once he knew he was busted he fifalky admitted that he did it but that nothing ever happened. I told him that something DID happened bc he propositioned another woman for a date while he should have been faithful to me.

He has apologized ad naseum but I just can't see myself ever being able to completely trust him again. The only reason I found out was by chance, and even then he tried to hide it from me until he knew he was caught.

Dint really know what the point of this post is, just needed to get it off my chest. It's do fresh and I'm too embarrassed to tell anyone right now. I just hate him for doing this to me. Guess I'll be starting over, again. 

Re: New here...

  • I'm sorry for all the grammatical errors. I'm posting from my phone.
  • If you don't think you can trust him again, end it.

    My STBXH cheated on me very early in the relationship and apologized and promised it would never happen again. And I believed him. That was 5 years ago. I caught him in several small lies but I never ended things because I loved him. This past year, when I was 5 months pregnant with our son, I found out he was having an affair. I finally found the strength to end things after he refused to end things with her.

  • imageLadyLissame:

    If you don't think you can trust him again, end it.

    This is wonderful advice. I told him last night that i couldn't get past this. The emails are from November, so the thought of him deceiving me for the past couple months make me sick. He told me that it was a horrible mistake and moment of weakness. Sigh. Really? That's not a mistake. That's a diliberate act.

    One minute you think your life is moving in a certain direction, and in a matter of seconds it's changed. I feel like I was living my life with a complete stranger. The man I was dating-who he made himself out tone-would not have done this. Got the wool pulled over my eyes I guess.

  • You've only been dating a year and a half, so that's the good news.  He's shown his true colors.  Time to move on.

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  • imageachase123:

    You've only been dating a year and a half, so that's the good news.  He's shown his true colors.  Time to move on.

    Exactly.  Don't make the big mistake that some of us here have made, which was the take the cheaters back, ignore shady behavior and red flags .... run!!

  • This would be the type of "red flag" that you look for when dating so you don't take the relationship further. 

    It shows his true character and it's better to learn this now then later.  

    Tina Mommy to "M" (age 6.5) and "K" (age 4.5) I am a single mommy who represented myself in a 2.5 year custody battle and divorce. www.onemomsbattle.com Find me on Twitter: OneMomsBattle My Blog: OneMomsBattle.com
  • imageDakotaDangerDog:
    Dump That Motha Fukkaaa

    THIS.  Do you live with him?

    "How often does the other woman get a happy ending?" Chuck Bass, Gossip Girl
  • imageonemomsbattle:

    It shows his true character and it's better to learn this now then later.  

    It certainly does. Sucks because he put up a good front to the contrary for so long. But yes it is a red flag. This is why I ended it. Thank you.

  • imagedmndsr4eva:

    THIS.  Do you live with him?

     He has his own place but had for all intents and purposes moved in. Thank goodness he has someplace to go.

    I am still in shock right now. This stinks.

  • image+cheers+2+me+:
    imagedmndsr4eva:

    THIS.  Do you live with him?

     He has his own place but had for all intents and purposes moved in. Thank goodness he has someplace to go.

    I am still in shock right now. This stinks.

    I understand, but seriously, consider yourself lucky you had enough wits about you to get out now.  Some of us married men like that, ignoring red flags and then had to pick up the pieces. 

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