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How do you shop in prison?

A little FYI/Backstory: I still talk to my XMIL by email once a week. After laying a lot of ground rules and bumps in the road we have established a decent post-split relationship. She lives 2.5 hours away. I think it is important for DD to have a relationship with that side of the family as long as it is safe and healthy. X has 3 sisters. XSIL "M" lives 10 mins away from me, is married (to R) and has a DD close in age to Caroline. We talk semi-frequently. M and R have been awesome to me and Caroline during everything. 

I met up with my XILs yesterday for "Christmas". Everything was actually nice. We met at my M's house and lets the toddlers play around and open presents. XMIL got DD some really cute clothing and a cool little learning toy. Then she hands me a bag and says that it was from X. She usually does not bring him up at all, and I am not mad that she gave me the bag. It might have something DD needed... but alas, it was clothing that was 2 sizes too small and a stuffed dog.

I KNOW none of my XILs bought the gifts for him cause they all bought DD clothing in the correct size. He is not allowed to get on the internet. How in the world to you purchase gifts from prison?

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Re: How do you shop in prison?

  • That is weird. Did you ask her how he purchased them?  That would have been my first question.
  • They can shop in the commissary, but I wouldn't think they would have kids stuff there.  Hmmmm!
  • imageAudg:
    That is weird. Did you ask her how he purchased them?  That would have been my first question.

    No, to be honest, in the moment it didn't really come to mind. She said it was from him and I looked at the size and put it aside. Not a big deal.

    I don't really want to ask MIL because we have an understanding that I do not want to talk about X unless it is needed. I am sure she only gave me the gift because there was clothing in it (I said DD needed clothes). I do not think she was trying to break our agreement or had any expectations in passing the box along.

    Anyway... I didn't want to drag her into that conversation.  

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  • Yeah, after I asked you that I realized how awkward that conversation would be and how you probably wouldn't want to even bring it up... totally understandable. 

  • That's weird and a little creepy.  Like, FFS, you're in prison....leave us alone already!!!!!  I think the only way he could purchase anything was for someone on the outside to do it for him.  Does he have any good friends who he's maybe kept in touch with that would have helped him out by picking up some gifts?
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  • I would think someone else that he knew bought them.  I don't think he could get online or purchase things like that from the commissary (sp?).  It was my understanding they could only get things like toiletries, snacks, etc.
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  • I worked in an office of a prison in high school and at Christmas time there would be churches or charity organizations like that that would bring in toys/gift type stuff for the guys to pick from to give to their children.  Maybe it was something like that?
    *The only way to dream is big*
  • imagebaw1981:
    I worked in an office of a prison in high school and at Christmas time there would be churches or charity organizations like that that would bring in toys/gift type stuff for the guys to pick from to give to their children.  Maybe it was something like that?

    Perhaps this happens, but prisons probably exclude sex offenders from these "buy for a child days"!  

    Seriously, that's messed up Becca, I'm sorry. That must be really disconcerting :(. ((hugs)) 

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  • imageMintChocoChip:

    imagebaw1981:
    I worked in an office of a prison in high school and at Christmas time there would be churches or charity organizations like that that would bring in toys/gift type stuff for the guys to pick from to give to their children.  Maybe it was something like that?

    Perhaps this happens, but prisons probably exclude sex offenders from these "buy for a child days"!  

    Seriously, that's messed up Becca, I'm sorry. That must be really disconcerting :(. ((hugs)) 

    Very good point!

    *The only way to dream is big*
  • I might be way off here but I do remember seeing a guy posting on the personals on CL that he was in prison so maybe they do have internet access?  I don't know really though. 
  • imagebaw1981:
    imageMintChocoChip:

    imagebaw1981:
    I worked in an office of a prison in high school and at Christmas time there would be churches or charity organizations like that that would bring in toys/gift type stuff for the guys to pick from to give to their children.  Maybe it was something like that?

    Perhaps this happens, but prisons probably exclude sex offenders from these "buy for a child days"!  

    Seriously, that's messed up Becca, I'm sorry. That must be really disconcerting :(. ((hugs)) 

    Very good point!

    Yes but it would not be for some random child. It would be for his child.

    OP, I think he told some friend to buy xyz for your daughter and give it to your MIL. 

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  • imageLandOBiscuit:
    imagebaw1981:
    imageMintChocoChip:

    imagebaw1981:
    I worked in an office of a prison in high school and at Christmas time there would be churches or charity organizations like that that would bring in toys/gift type stuff for the guys to pick from to give to their children.  Maybe it was something like that?

    Perhaps this happens, but prisons probably exclude sex offenders from these "buy for a child days"!  

    Seriously, that's messed up Becca, I'm sorry. That must be really disconcerting :(. ((hugs)) 

    Very good point!

    Yes but it would not be for some random child. It would be for his child.

    OP, I think he told some friend to buy xyz for your daughter and give it to your MIL. 

    He had no friends while we were together. Which I now know is a red flag. Never hung out with anyone, texted or called any friends... But there may be someone I was never told about. I will ask XSIL if she knows. 
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  • My mom has been transferred to a lot of different prisons and she always mentions buying just snacks and little things. It isn't like a big store or anything. Also, they earn pretty much nothing. My mom said she made like 8 cents a day so that would take a long time to save up to buy something of substance anyway.
    image BNOTB Awards
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