Starting Over
Dear Community,

Our tech team has launched updates to The Nest today. As a result of these updates, members of the Nest Community will need to change their password in order to continue participating in the community. In addition, The Nest community member's avatars will be replaced with generic default avatars. If you wish to revert to your original avatar, you will need to re-upload it via The Nest.

If you have questions about this, please email help@theknot.com.

Thank you.

Note: This only affects The Nest's community members and will not affect members on The Bump or The Knot.

Dating and Safe sex tips

I'm getting back in the dating game in the next few months. Been divorced for over 2 years and just ended my rebound relationship a month ago. 

I am a bit rusty in the dating and sex department. Can you please give me some dating tips? Also when the time is right and  before I end up in bed with a pretty boy, how do you bring up safe sex and condoms? Does the guy have it on him? Do I keep some in my purse? What kind should I get?

I need your Help! Thanks in advance! 

Re: Dating and Safe sex tips

  • If you start dating someone and you're at a point when you think you're going to have sex, I would just ask if he has a condom. If you feel it necessary, you can always have some on hand.  I would also make it a point to both get STD tested, so you know for sure...

    I can't tell you what kind/brand of condom to use, I think that is a decision that you and your partner should make.

     

    As for dating tips, do you have specific questions?

    image
    They see us rollin'...they be hatin'.
  • imageRiver Pestie:

    If you start dating someone and you're at a point when you think you're going to have sex, I would just ask if he has a condom. If you feel it necessary, you can always have some on hand.  I would also make it a point to both get STD tested, so you know for sure...

    I can't tell you what kind/brand of condom to use, I think that is a decision that you and your partner should make.

     

    As for dating tips, do you have specific questions?

     Thanks - I guess I'd like to know what topics to avoid. I usually tend to be emotional and a bit TMI so I need to practice self control. 

  • I would keep the first few dates light, I would talk about hobbies, travels, likes/dislikes, pets etc... I wouldn't get into heavy conversation.

     

    If the topic comes up, just say that you were married at one point and it didn't work out.   That way, you don't need to worry about being TMI or emotional.

    image
    They see us rollin'...they be hatin'.
  • Somehow the conversation of sex often comes up before the sex and I mention that I'm not on bcp and always practice safe sex. Having an adult discussion before you're in the heat of the moment is easier so both parties are prepared when things get feisty. I'd never want to have one of those, "I always use a condom but I'm so hot right now so screw it, screw me now!" moments that I might live to regret forever.
    Warning No formatter is installed for the format bbhtml
  • imageMintChocoChip:
    Somehow the conversation of sex often comes up before the sex and I mention that I'm not on bcp and always practice safe sex. Having an adult discussion before you're in the heat of the moment is easier so both parties are prepared when things get feisty. I'd never want to have one of those, "I always use a condom but I'm so hot right now so screw it, screw me now!" moments that I might live to regret forever.

     

    YES, ditto, Mint! In my pp, it sounded as though I was saying to talk about it in the heat of the moment. I meant that you should talk about it beforehand...   Like, if your relationship gets to the point where you might have sex in the near future (not the next second) talk about condoms, etc...  

    image
    They see us rollin'...they be hatin'.
  • I might be the only idiot that didn't know this but also remember you can still get STDs like herpes if you use condoms.  Make sure you only have sex with guys you trust and ASK them if they have any diseases.  You'd be suprised how many people have herpes these days. 
  • Get tested regularly.  Make it a part of your annual trip to the gynecologist, and get tested more frequently if something just doesn't feel right.

    Buy your own condoms.  Keep them in your purse.  Never rely on your partner for that.  Even if you're on another form of birth control, you should always use condoms.  You never know who's a dirty bird :)  As far as what type to buy, that's the beauty of buying them yourself.  Latex is your best bet for STD prevention.  Beware the guy who says "oh, I'm allergic to latex.  I can't use condoms."  Men who are allergic to latex are always packing natural alternatives, so if he can't produce his own, he's SOL.  Pay attention to the condition of the package and the expiration date.  If it's pre-lubed and the lube is goopy, sticky, or stringy, it may be past its prime.  Otherwise, it's really a personal preference. 

    Dating tips?  I only have one.  If he doesn't make your toes curl or give you butterflies in your tummy, keep looking.  In the meantime, see how many types of condoms you can try out ;) 

     

    "The only true currency in this bankrupt world... is what you share with someone else when you're uncool." -Lester Banks, Almost Famous
  • I always kept some in my purse just in case. Remember, you are responsible for your own health ;)

  • imagegwencortopassi:

    Get tested regularly.  Make it a part of your annual trip to the gynecologist, and get tested more frequently if something just doesn't feel right.

    Buy your own condoms.  Keep them in your purse.  Never rely on your partner for that.  Even if you're on another form of birth control, you should always use condoms.  You never know who's a dirty bird :)  As far as what type to buy, that's the beauty of buying them yourself.  Latex is your best bet for STD prevention.  Beware the guy who says "oh, I'm allergic to latex.  I can't use condoms."  Men who are allergic to latex are always packing natural alternatives, so if he can't produce his own, he's SOL.  Pay attention to the condition of the package and the expiration date.  If it's pre-lubed and the lube is goopy, sticky, or stringy, it may be past its prime.  Otherwise, it's really a personal preference. 

    Dating tips?  I only have one.  If he doesn't make your toes curl or give you butterflies in your tummy, keep looking.  In the meantime, see how many types of condoms you can try out ;) 

     

    Please don't do this.  There is no prize for fuckingthemost guys.  You can get HERPES and other things even if you use condoms.  HERPES is FOREVER

  • umm...settle down, BK.  I sincerely doubt that OP is going to slut it up around town because a complete stranger on an internet chat board suggested it JOKINGLY.  Pretty sure OP could have figured that out on her own, but thank you so much for the clarification. 
    "The only true currency in this bankrupt world... is what you share with someone else when you're uncool." -Lester Banks, Almost Famous
  • Also, FYI, you can use different condoms with the SAME guy.  OMG, who would have thought?!?  Confused
    The day I left was just my beginning.
  • Ohh its very very important to have dating and sex tips for any relationship to move ahead.You will get more such tips in newsnevents blog
Sign In or Register to comment.
Choose Another Board
Search Boards