Sex & Romance
 
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Our tech team has launched updates to The Nest today. As a result of these updates, members of the Nest Community will need to change their password in order to continue participating in the community. In addition, The Nest community member's avatars will be replaced with generic default avatars. If you wish to revert to your original avatar, you will need to re-upload it via The Nest.
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Thank you.
Note: This only affects The Nest's community members and will not affect members on The Bump or The Knot.
Sex tapering off since marriage?
I was wondering if anyone else has experienced a lack of sex since being married? We work different hours and are only home at night together 3 nights a week and normally sleeping at the same time only twice a week. Prior to the wedding we had sex maybe once a week and now it's more like once a month. Whenever I try to mention it, H just says that I always fall asleep before we can do anything. Ha! He never even tries to make a move or maybe I wouldn't just go to sleep. Then when I try he doesn't respond. I have gained about 10 pounds since the wedding and therefore feeling a little self conscience. Anyone else with this issue?
 
Re: Sex tapering off since marriage?
Yes, sounds crazy right? We've been married for four months now & prior to the wedding day we were active a lot - post wedding, the first month was a number I can't even count. It was both of us though. We were exhausted all the time, however we would jokingly laugh about it. I'd try to cut jokes to see where he was & see if he felt the same way - he was. I believe sex is such an important part in a relationship - Yes, I too {in four months} put on 10 pounds and don't feel as sexy but you husband thinks you are sexy... he does. Don't shun from him because you feel this way, it's hard I know. Tell yourself that no matter what time of the night or how late or how sleepy you are - it's gonna happen. Make it happen don't loose that yucky love just yet. You can get back in it, we have. {However we are still exhausted & aren't at it as much as we were prior too}.
You do realize that you could make a move also, right?
This. Try making a move yourself. Of course, when your schedules don't coincide, it's much harder to make time, but if you make a point of initiating sex, I'm sure it will help. At least more than once a month
That's the thing...I always do! He either accepts or not but rarely starts things himself.
Hmm, and you've said you talked to him about it? Like have you actually talked about your disappointment that he never initiates, or just in general that you don't have sex often?
I'd start by trying to talk to him again and let him know that you'd really like to try to have sex more often. Maybe make goals for yourselves that you both try to initiate it once a week. Don't put too much pressure on actually doing it (because that might make it seem forced), but it will at least get you both in the habit of thinking about it and attempting to act on it?
Many of my female friends have experienced the same thing: less effort by the guy to have sex. In essence, they don't have to try as hard and that is a relief. They've gotcha! And that's great for them! But if you want something, just say so.
My BF of 6 years and I have sex about 1x per month and that works for us. Neither of us have high sex drives and we've talked openly about that. But if you have a different idea of what your sex life should be talk to your spouse. That way you'll be able to say, at the very least, that you've had the conversation.
The other option, of course, is to turn on the candles, the lube, and break out the kenny g!
Hilarious! Thanks for the tips ladies. I'll keep working on him a little more. he doesn't always like to talk about this stuff when I bring it up but eventually he will just have to listen.