How do you feel about people getting married w/o guests?

steeser03 · December 2011

I feel like this is a "trend" that I am seeing more of lately and I gotta be honest, I don't like it.

I mean a destination wedding is one thing. But this year we had friends who got married in a private ceremony (parents only) before the reception. So when we arrived at the reception they were already married.

Next year we have friends getting married at a courthouse the week before their reception with only their parents and siblings.

IDK I feel like the wedding ceremony is the cheap part of the day, whats the big deal with not having people there? At both of these weddings the reception guest list is 150+.

I guess that some people think marriage ceremonies are boring, but I personally like to see them. I know they are mostly the same at every wedding, but I still like to see the bride and groom exchange vows and make lovey eyes at each other. Maybe I'm a sap.

Thoughts?

MBMcC421 · December 2011

Not being invited to my former BFF's wedding ceremony is what undoubtedly ruined our relationship.... so I 100% agree with you. Their excuse was wanting to keep it small because they couldn't afford the big wedding, yet being able to have a 100+ reception after the fact so people can bring you presents and money? It just doesn't compute. Personally, I would rather be at the ceremony - it's the essence of the occassion. It doesn't have to be boring.... actually, I think it's romantic and happy and I cry every time! But yeah...

Mrs. Mo · December 2011

MBMcC421:
Not being invited to my former BFF's wedding ceremony is what undoubtedly ruined our relationship.... so I 100% agree with you. Their excuse was wanting to keep it small because they couldn't afford the big wedding, yet being able to have a 100+ reception after the fact so people can bring you presents and money? It just doesn't compute. Personally, I would rather be at the ceremony - it's the essence of the occassion. It doesn't have to be boring.... actually, I think it's romantic and happy and I cry every time! But yeah...

Agreed. The same for the people who invite everyone & their mother to a wedding shower but then have an extremely small "private" wedding. It just seems way too gift grabby.

amelianguy · December 2011

Yeah, I don't like this trend either. I want to see them get married! That's the good part to me. and I think the excuse of wanting to keep it small is a cop-out when you have a big reception.

steeser03 · December 2011

Andy says its because people don't want to be the center of attention. I'm skeptical.

Mrs. Mo · December 2011

steeser03:
Andy says its because people don't want to be the center of attention. I'm skeptical.

But, they will still be the center of attention at the reception. All eyes will be on them no matter what. On your wedding day, you can't even go to the bathroom without someone knowing (literally for those who need help holding up their dress)

Diamond_Doll · December 2011

I agree. I completely understand the arguments for keeping it small to avoid costs or being the center of attention, but all of that is lost when you have a huge reception. The reception is the most expensive/AW part.

MBMcC421 · December 2011

Diamond_Doll:
I agree. I completely understand the arguments for keeping it small to avoid costs or being the center of attention, but all of that is lost when you have a huge reception. The reception is the most expensive/AW part.

Exactly. People are dumb.

SEMelius5073 · December 2011

My BIL and his dumb fiancee are doing this. They are getting married at a courthouse and having a big reception 2 months later.

They claim that they are doing this to save money..... that's the biggest load of BS I've ever heard. As many times as countless people have mentioned that the ceremony is the cheap part, they don't believe it.

They also keep announcing their wedding date in facebook statuses. They make sure to mention that its at the courthouse and ONLY immediate family will be present. They also mention that they will be having a reception at their house for ONLY very close friends. Um.... AW much?

In a somewhat related note, this is the same couple who are always on a budget and can't spend any money on entertainment (ex: BIL spending a night out with my H every few months) and constantly whine about not being able to afford nice things, blah blah blah. Yet, they can buy a house, a puppy with puppy expenses, brand new furniture, new drywall & electric for their ENTIRE house, nearly bought a brand new Equinox, not one but TWO new trucks, and a new elliptical. All those things have been purchased in the past 7 months.

end rant- I needed that.

dbucks · December 2011

Yea, as someone who had a crazy tiny wedding for money purposes, their excuses make no sense. We had friends who got mad that they weren't invited, so we told them they could come to the ceremony but that we (unfortunately) couldn't afford to have them join us for lunch. Doing the reverse makes absolutely NO sense! Their reception sounds gift grabby and AWish.

YouandMe912 · December 2011

Yea I think it's rude to not include people on the part that is the most important but then expecting them to come to the party basically for a present is just ridiculous. I wouldn't go to be honest and I wouldn't send a gift.

How do you feel about people getting married w/o guests?

Re: How do you feel about people getting married w/o guests?

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