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Those who have dated a cop before
I have been dating this guy about 6mos now and we both live in different cities, but normally see each other on the weekends. We normally talk throughout the week, everyday and if he has to be in court in my city, he'll come up and spend the night. However he is extremely moody all the time. He has a really bad attitude, I assume when he has had a bad day. But it is often.....
A lil backstory, i don't know if any of you remember when i posted a while back about me reading a text in his phone from a woman asking him for a massage and another asking him was he coming over to check her water heater. Well, when i asked him about it, the conversation quickly went south. He got a bad attitute about it and told me that he does not have to explain anything to me, which really hurt because i thought we had more respect for each other than that. Front what I can tell, he has a lot of female friends and I feel really uncomfortable about it and talking to him never turns out they way I invisioned it so, I'm at a loss here....
Thanks for letting me vent
Re: Those who have dated a cop before
If you're in a relationship with someone and they feel that they "do not have to explain anything" regarding inappropriate text messages, this is a RED FLAG! I don't think it has anything to do with the fact that he's a cop, more that he appears to be a cheater with an attitude problem. DTMFA!
Abort! Abort! Danger Will Robinson!
Seriously?? You really want to date a guy who is "extremely moody all the time" and that doesn't communicate with you?
My XH was a cop and he cheated on me. And most of his cop friends cheated on their SOs. Yes, I know there are some good ones out there. But I saw enough BS in my marriage as well as in his friends' relationships to know that I will NEVER date another cop. GL with whatever you decide to do.
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I was married to a cop. However, the issues in your post really have nothing to do with the fact that your BF is a cop. It sounds as though he has a lot of female friends and you aren't comfortable with that, and he isn't going to stop being friends with them, so it might be best to go your separate ways, especially since his attitude sucks.
I would definitely not be comfortable with my BF giving another girl a massage. Did he end up giving her one?
They see us rollin'...they be hatin'.
River,
That i do not know as we do not live in the same city. We live about 25 minutes from each other. I know that he did not answer the text, but who know what he did when I left that day.
Holy red flags. Why are you still with this dude after 6 months of him treating you this way? The first six months should be pretty blissful, IMO. Instead, you're dealing with a grumpy, moody, defensive dude, who's probably seeing other women on the side.
The reason he's getting defensive when you inquire about things is because he has something to hide. He figures by getting angry with you, it'll make you back off and leave him alone. He doesn't want you to start questioning him because he's guilty of something.
It doesn't matter what his profession is, at all. he sounds like a total tool.
FTR, I have only casually dated a sheriff, but he didn't seem trustworthy and had a reputation as a ladies man. At least he wasn't moody though.
AChase,
My thoughts exactly. I think the same thing, which is why I have just decided to leave well enough alone with this guy. He has his highs and lows and I am really sick of it.
My sister married a cop. He cheated, all his buddies cheated, and he was incredibly abusive.
There are good cops out there, the one you are dating is NOT one of them. How you lasted 6 months I will never know. This has nothing to do with his profession and everything to do with his being a jackass*
I agree with the others that this is probably a relationship to just let go. I date a cop and have dealt with an occasional moody day when he's had a bad shift but he's very aware of not taking it out on others.
Good call. This guy does NOT treat you the way you deserve to be treated. And I would never be able to date someone who is moody and grumpy. Break it off ASAP and move on to much much better things
ALL of this. I have never dated a cop but I have a cousin who is a cop and he is one of the sweetest guys I know. He is loving and caring and always smiling. Now what goes on with him and his wife behind closed doors I do not know. But I can't imagine him ever talking to his wife as your bf talked to you.
I divorced a cop...
But this guy seems like a tool. Move on.
I dated a cop a year or so after i divorced my XH. He had a negative attitude on everything. He didn't seem to think ANYONE was trustworthy and he was a complete downer. He constantly told me what I should be doing with my life and how I wasn't doing the right things. I dumped him, and didn't look back.
I would never be ok with my BF even getting texts from another girl asking for a back massage. Not saying he has done it, but what put it in this girls mind that it was ok to ask your BF for a massage?
I agree with the other posters, red flags everywhere...get out now, you deserve better.
Whether or not he is a cop isn't the issue....
The issue is that he he is moody and has a bad attitude. (If he is working in the bad part of a major city, his profession might be an excuse. If he is working in the suburbs and the worst criminal he sees is a shoplifter, really he needs to deal or find a new profession).
He is also getting questionable text messages from women you don't know and he hasn't introducted you to. And gets p*ssy about it and tells you he doesn't OWE you anything. Maybe he doesn't OWE you details about his life, but people in a mature exclusive relationship based on trust don't keep secrets - esp. about the opposite sex.