International Nesties
paulie&sarah5079
member
Dear Community,
Our tech team has launched updates to The Nest today. As a result of these updates, members of the Nest Community will need to change their password in order to continue participating in the community. In addition, The Nest community member's avatars will be replaced with generic default avatars. If you wish to revert to your original avatar, you will need to re-upload it via The Nest.
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Note: This only affects The Nest's community members and will not affect members on The Bump or The Knot.
Our tech team has launched updates to The Nest today. As a result of these updates, members of the Nest Community will need to change their password in order to continue participating in the community. In addition, The Nest community member's avatars will be replaced with generic default avatars. If you wish to revert to your original avatar, you will need to re-upload it via The Nest.
If you have questions about this, please email help@theknot.com.
Thank you.
Note: This only affects The Nest's community members and will not affect members on The Bump or The Knot.
NY today Paris tomorrow?
My husbands family is from France his grandparents aunts uncles and cousins are all over there (his mother is the only one that lives in America). We got married in October and have been together for 5 years now. We went to France on our honeymoon to see his family and spend time in Paris. He speaks French fluently so a move like this would not be a huge deal for him. While we were there we did look at some houses and talk about us moving there. I would love to but i wanted to hear from some INs about how they took to the change and how their lives are now that they moved. thanks!
Re: NY today Paris tomorrow?
Personally, I think living internationally is amazing and everyone should do it at least once in their life but we get a few posts like this a month asking the same question. It is a HUGE step and the first thing you need to figure out is - is it even possible? Does your husband work for a company that would transfer him to France indefinitely and sponsor a work visa?
Living abroad is an amazing, frustrating, eye opening, educational, and sometimes lonely thing BUT it has made me a completely different person. Much more open, much more flexible, and much more traveled.
So to answer your questions, we moved to the NL because my husband's company offered him a job. They paid all of our expenses, found us an apartment, got our visas figured out, etc. etc. etc. How did my life is now? I'm back in the US after 3 years in Amsterdam and have a bunch of amazing stories to tell. And no money
We went broke on traveling!
Good luck! It way past the prime time on this board because most of the Europeans are asleep. Hopefully you get some good advice on how to come to the decision to do this.
Ha- I thought the title of this post was someone looking for me. DH and I are about to move to Paris. We have our resident visa interview tomorrow here in NY and could leave as soon as next week if all the paperwork is in order.
Anyway, to answer your question simply, I guess it all depends on how you feel about France/living abroad in general/living in a city like Paris. Living abroad (I've done it before, just not in France) has its ups and downs, but I think a lot of the adjustment can depend on what you're there to do and where you are in your life/what you're giving up "at home" to go abroad. DH and I are so excited I can barely focus on anything right now, but I also think DD is the perfect age for us to do something like this, DH has a secure job contract and I work for myself, so I'm not stressed about both of us having jobs (something that was a BIG issue for us in the past).
I'm going to be moving to England, and the thought is quite daunting. And that's a country that is not only very similar to where I live, but also speaks the same language (well, basically ; p). Do you speak any French? I would personally hate to move somewhere that I don't speak the language. It frustrates me here when I get customers at work that can't speak English, and I can't even imagine being on the other side of that.
That's just my input ; p
Rambley Blog
Would this a permanent move or temporary? That makes a huge difference to me.
I have enjoyed our overseas locations. But a big, big, big mental difference to me is that these are temporary. Two years in Italy, two years in Bahrain, that's it. When things got rough or bad I knew that there was an end point. That helped me be able to enjoy exploring more.
Even with some of the major bumps in the road with living overseas, I'd do another overseas tour in a heartbeat. There's a growth in self, perspective, and appreciation that comes with these kinds of experiences.
I married a Danish guy and moved permanently to Denmark without speaking any Danish. I wouldn't change a thing, but yeah, it has its tough parts. Sometimes really, really tough parts. Some people handle it better than others. I'd never tell someone not to move somewhere just because of language, but I also know Denmark is a very easy place to be an English speaker, so my experience is somewhat privileged. I also know not every country offers (well, forces, but hey) free courses in the local language, and not everyone is good at learning languages.
DH is a Danish citizen, though. I don't know the rules in France, but here, having a Danish uncle-in-law wouldn't be any kind of advantage for getting a visa, at all.
I wasn't saying that if she can't speak French then she shouldn't move there. I was just giving my input that I personally wouldn't want to move there if I couldn't speak the language. I am fully aware that some people would enjoy being immersed in a culture and given the opportunity to learn a language like that. I am not one of them : p
Rambley Blog
We moved to IT almost 3yrs ago. It's been a great experience and I'm happy we've had this opportunity. Although, as FayeD said, we're temporarily here and I think that has colored/influenced our time. The bad is better/easier b/c it's temporary. The good is that much sweeter b/c it's fleeting.
To the extent that you're looking for advice, my two cents are: 1) get the job thing squared away (including visas) BEFORE you move (for both of you, to the extent you both want/need to work); 2) it's life, it's not a vacation. They're great moments and then there are DMV and/or international tax moments. The frustrations aren't necessarily then same as in the States, but even with good wine and yummy baguettes, there still are poopie moments; and 3) similar to point #2-- have realistic expectations about visits to/from family. Everyone says they want to come, but will they? Will you have time/budget to go home? I've been lucky in that we've had boatloads of visitors and a fair ability to go home, but still, particularly around this time of year and when seriously bad things happen, it's difficult to be so far away.
LUCKY! I would love to live abroad i know that it is something that we both would like to do. i have a question for you do either of you know how to speak French? and where in Paris are you moving!!!!
I am 25 and my Husband is turning 30 in a week! we do not have children we do want them but not in the near future...we both feel like we want to get all of our traveling over with before that plus we want to enjoy ourselves as a married couple..
Like most of the PPs mentioned, it depends mostly on how you would take it. How would you feel about having your life turned upside-down and ending up in a place where you couldn't speak to anyone, do anything on your own, and you were completely dependent on your DH? Even in the best cases, you'll probably have days when you feel like that.
But on the plus side, it gives you the opportunity to spend enough time in a place to start to really understand the culture, the values, and the way of life. Sometimes you love it, and sometimes you hate it. This varies a lot based on personal opinion and location, and I've personally had very different experiences in different countries where I've lived.
If you love to travel, the location change opens up so many great travel opportunities, but it also means that you're very far from your friends and family. And the time zone difference is killer. You will figure it out quite quickly, but the people back home might not. For five years, I've had a local US phone number through Skype, and most of my friends/family in the US are still afraid to call it, because they're never quite sure what time it is where I'm at.
If you don't have a problem being away from friends and family, you'll probably be fine, but if you're the type who thinks that moving a few states away would be tough, it's definitely something you'll have to deal with. And on those crappy-ex-pat days mentioned above when you're miserable, your traditional support network is far, far away.
Having covered a bunch of the negatives, I will say that for me, I've always known it was something I wanted to do. I joined the company where I work right after college, because I knew there was a good chance they'd give me an international assignment after a few years.
I moved to China in 2005, and while it was fascinating and exciting, I wasn't that comfortable with the "colonial ex-pat" style of life. Yes, it was fun to be able to go out to all the fancy bars and restaurants and to live in a gated luxury condo with local movie stars, but our whole lives were lived in the ex-pat world, and with the high turnover rate among China ex-pats, it was never that fulfilling. Even then, it was definitely worth the year and a half I stayed, and I might even do it again for another short-term, few-year stint.
After China I moved to Norway, knowing nothing about the place, and I completely fell in love. It turns out that I'm a complete socialist and I really feel comfortable and at home here, even though five years later I still can't speak much of the language (most Norwegians speak perfect English, so I learned almost as much Mandarin in just 1? years in China). Since it's been over 6 years since I left the US, these days I actually feel a little uncomfortable and out of place when I go "home" to visit.
No one is going to care that he's dual, but his French citizenship may help you. Or it might not. Every country is different and I don't know the French laws. Here, having a Danish husband makes residency possible, but is not an advantage for citizenship, and dual is not possible, regardless. Danish laws are pretty strict on this, though, compared to many other countries.
Being American and having your H as a French citizen, should be helpful (in my experience). I had no problems getting my titre de s?jour or visa or anything. It still takes at least 4-5 years to apply for citizenship though, if i have my facts correct. But him being dual doesn't help at all, except if you want to move back to the US later. Definitely practice up on your French though.