April 2010 Weddings
Dear Community,
Our tech team has launched updates to The Nest today. As a result of these updates, members of the Nest Community will need to change their password in order to continue participating in the community. In addition, The Nest community member's avatars will be replaced with generic default avatars. If you wish to revert to your original avatar, you will need to re-upload it via The Nest.
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Note: This only affects The Nest's community members and will not affect members on The Bump or The Knot.
Our tech team has launched updates to The Nest today. As a result of these updates, members of the Nest Community will need to change their password in order to continue participating in the community. In addition, The Nest community member's avatars will be replaced with generic default avatars. If you wish to revert to your original avatar, you will need to re-upload it via The Nest.
If you have questions about this, please email help@theknot.com.
Thank you.
Note: This only affects The Nest's community members and will not affect members on The Bump or The Knot.
Let's talk about babies
I noticed many of you said in the 2011 poll that you're hoping for a BFP in 2012. So, are you:
[Poll]
Re: Let's talk about babies
None of the above....but I voted maybe 2013.....
I want to try so does DH. I have baby fever.....but we can't afford daycare its SO expensive. We also can't afford for me to NOT work. So we are stuck in a major holding pattern. I really hope DH and I can find a new jobs that pays more. Though I feel bad since we do like our current jobs. The cost of daycare is just a bit less then my monthly bill responsibility.
EDIT: DH also NOT a spring chicken....
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We'd like to get our finances in order and pay down some debt this year, and DH is going to be looking for a better job. If both of those things happen by mid-2012, we'll start not not-trying in the fall of 2012. Until then, the baby fever will be killing meeee!
I chose the last option. For as much as I love babies, I have no desire to carry, deliver or raise one of my own. I wanted kids all the way up to my late 20s and knew I'd have been a good mom but then I got too set in my ways and decided it's not for me.
I put "trying in 2012"
My plan is to come off the pill in the spring (I'm turning 32 in April , that's as good a time as any) and I want to make sure my cycle goes back to normal and start taking prenatal vitamins. Hopefully by the fall, we'll be pregnant? Who knows how things will turn out.
Like Laurie, I'm concerned that the daycare costs around here are astronomical. I would love to stay home, but we cannot do it financially. My in-laws are in Delaware (and are too absorbed in retirment to even offer to help out with their other granddaughters, much less babysit on a regular basis) and both of my parents are 40 mins away and both work full time. We are on our own, and that's terrifying. But, we'll stick to our plan for now. Doesn't look like either one of us will be changing jobs anytime soon. My new job gave me a $12,000 boost in salary, so we're already better off than we were a year ago.
Actually, while we are on this topic....working moms....what are your experiences with daycares? Or do you have (or have considered) a "nanny"? Just curious...
My MIL is retired but lives in queens and its a hike to NJ and my mom works full time and I SO wish my mom were an option. She adores babies and i know part of her wishes she could do it but I can't provide her healthcare lol. I have considered the nanny option and it is one I rather like....One of my mom's friends mentioned an interest which would be amazing but I'm not sure about cost comparisons. However we would need an extra 10k-15k (take home so almost 25k salary bump) to cover care which makes me SO sad.....
I know, it's such a shame, but right now the thought of having a baby brings on fear and sadness, instead of joy. I hate the idea of paying someone tons of money to watch my child every day, when I'd give ANYTHING to do it myself. I have all the respect in the world for working moms, I know I wanted to be home for at least a year or two. I'd like to at least be home for 10-12 months. I'll make any sacrifice I have to for that.
I like the idea of a nanny coming to MY home just for the workday. Especially since I work close to home, and I'm out of the house from only 8-4:30. Not a long day, since I don't commute to NYC. I just have no idea how much that would run...from what I've seen online, about $12 an hour. That's at LEAST about $2,000 a month?? I should have been a nanny.
Ditto!
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Tales From a Kitchen Misfit
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Child care is the biggest friggen issue, especially for those of us in HCOL areas - the costs are astronomical. Honestly, we are 38 and 43, still renting, and I reworked our monthly budget to include daycare but it will definitely be much tighter. I have no idea how couples in their 20s, who theoretically make less than us and have less savings, do it. We are fortunate that Dave got a permanent job right around the time I found out I was pregnant with a salary increase that will cover most of the cost of daycare. Before that happened we talked about him cutting back on his freelance hours and being a SAHD. Even with his raise I earn more than twice what he does so me being a SAHM is not even a consideration. In a way it makes that decision easy though because I know we could not get by without me working.
As far as the daycare/nanny issue, I have been researching this and there are definitely pros and cons to both. Nannies are great, but in addition to them costing more per month than daycare you have to consider things like taxes, coordinating vacation time, having someone to cover when the nanny is sick, lack of socialization, etc. Of course there are the cons of daycare - the spread of illness (which doesn't bother me personally since they have to build up their immune system eventually), set hours, their holidays not matching up to yours. In our case since Dave works from home I think having a nanny would be awkward. Plus my company offers fantastic daycare onsite so I can go visit the baby during the day. Really, what works best will vary for each family/situation.
You all know my choice!!
Daycare isn't an issue for me!
I get 50% off infants and 75% every other age.
But I hear what your saying...here are our rates: (this is WEEKLY)
Infant: 322
Toddler: 311
Twos: 281
Preschool-Kindergarten: 265
Before Only: 125
After Only: 133
Both: 175
Our rates are going down a bit so that is GREAT but imagine even with a 10% discount for multiple children paying almost $500 a WEEK for 2 kids?
Wow Barb, that's crazy. Your infant rates are more 1 & 1/2 times what we will pay per week.
We looked every where for daycare and found our best option is a church right around the corner from our house. They are pretty reasonable and had nice facilities. Even still, it's going to be a stretch for us. We just don't make that much money, so I can totally relate to letting daycare costs hold you back.
Daycare costs really are crazy. I know that my work offers a dependent care pre tax savings thing. It is kind of like a health savings account, where you put in money to the account each pay check pre tax, and then use that money to pay for daycare. I have not worked the numbers out, but I am sure that it has to save a good bit of money.
Ah, just found some info on it
http://www.smartmoney.com/personal-finance/taxes/cut-your-child-care-costs-14246/
You girls probably already know more about it than I do, but if not definitely check with your companies.
My work has a pretty good daycare on center (at least for 3 and under it is good according to a friend) and since we both work there it would be a great option for us, which is really nice. And it is also not too expensive, but not cheap for sure.
We have this, too. I think it falls under our Flexible Spending Account but it's a separate part of it that has to be used on daycare. I think federal law only lets you put in $5,000 per year, per household, but it's something. We will definitely be signing up through my work.
Wow, that's so interesting! I have to ask our employers if they offer an FSA-type account for child-care. That's a little bit of help, at least.
I'm super jealous of those of you that have on-site daycare at work. No matter what it costs, it's so worth the convenience and peace of mind, knowing that your little one is near you all day. That's awesome!!!!
Agreed!! Think I can set-up daycare at my desk?
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I went to a in-home daycare as a kid, but I would never put my kids in one now that I run a daycare. (If you found a great one that everybody likes, I'm not trying to be mean or tell you it's a bad idea)
Recently in our town there was a popular in home daycare. She wasn't licensed so she could have as many kids as she wanted. Everybody LOVED her. I think she had 10 at the time. One of the 2 year olds she was watching just happened to walk around the house, to the back, open the back door, unlatch the pool gate and fell in. She drowned. We got 3 families from them.
I hear stories like that ALL THE TIME now that I'm in the field. But I guess it goes both ways to saying that the daycare teacher hit the kid or pushed him...
I guess I also have a special snowflake. My response: already have one and he's enough for right now, but we would like to have another. But when, and how??? Talk about not being a spring chicken; I'm 41! To most minds I am already crazy. Well, yeah, I knew that already, LOL. I have, statistically, zero time left, and am already very lucky to have carried a healthy nearly full-term pregnancy, but well, if we can figure out a way to swing it financially, we would like to try for #2. I think that if we were going to TTC, I'd like to start trying end of 2012/early 2013. But if it doesn't work out without medical assistance, I think we would say, "So be it." Would have been a different story if we didn't already have Milo, however.
I know that time is of the essence, and it could take us a lot longer to get pregnant this time than last, but honestly I'm just not ready to start that all again just yet. Our focus in 2012 will be in finding a house (hopefully) and my losing some more of this pregnancy weight. We need more space for the three of us as it is, so that's a priority right now. So we are definitely not trying, and not not-trying either, at the moment.
Oh yeah, and then there's day care. I too cannot afford right now to be a SAHM, as much as I would love to be. And I don't know how we would swing having two in day care... The place Milo goes to, if we enrolled him five days a week, costs just about the same as Barb's DC. He only goes three days a week though. That saves us some money, and it's a good compromise. He gets to be home with Daddy two days a week, and then the other days he has a chance to socialize with other kids (and, as Lori mentioned, a chance to build up his immunity).
So yeah, if money were no object, I'd be home and we'd probably start TTC in 2012. But since it is, we're a tentative TTC in 2013.
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