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Advice on my XH spreading lies
Hello all!
My XH has lost his mind.... I just found out he is telling people (mutual friends!!) that the reason we got a divorce is because I had an affair!!! I am SO pissed, I can't even think straight. The real kicker is some of these mutual friends know the guy I am dating now (as acquaintances, old co-workers), and I am not sure if I should say something to him, or just assume he's heard it and knows better. I tend to overanalyze and assume the worst, so I am wondering if I need to do damage control (my first instinct), or assume this rumor has already spread and I just need to forget about it and not let it get to me. Apparently the rumor started right after our divorce was final in September. And his new girlfriend is also spreading it to people I know, who she doesn't know that I know....lucky girl.
Thoughts?
Re: Advice on my XH spreading lies
I think that the best thing you can do is realize that this time will pass. You can't control what your XH does or doesn't do. His decision to spread rumors about you will ultimately lead to him looking like an idiot. I think the best thing you can do is let the people you care about know that these are rumors and not the truth. Anyone who cares about you and loves you will know that it's a lie, anyway.
Sorry, I know it sucks to have a jacka$$ of an ex, but this too shall pass.
This. My ex did the same crap. I cheated on him, I was an alcoholic, I dated a stripper, who know what else. My true friends didn't believe it. Just let it go. if someone asks you about it, you can say what really happened, but you cannot stop your ex from lying.
As hard as it is, all you can do is let it go and ignore.
My XH likes to twist things around to make him look like the victim, so given the fact he was the one who had an affair (and is still with her over a year later) I can only imagine the lies he's been saying about me and what happened in our marriage. That's just how he rolls and I choose to ignore it.
Thank you ladies! I figured this is the best approach. Odds are that everyone has already heard about these rumors, so I probably already know who my real friends are.
Thanks so much for the advice!!
LOL.
I'm sure mine is doing the same thing. I was impossible to live with, we were incompatible, I was too controlling, etc. In reality, he cheated SO many times and left us so he could live the fun life of a 20 year old (even though he's pushing 40). I hope to never see most of "his" people again (other than my ILs who I have to see because of my kids), so I just let it roll off. Anyone who really knows him knows how he is, and most were not surprised he left me...only that he was able to hide his selfish and immature behavior for as long as he did!
Anyway, I think it's just something they do. Everyone wants someone to blame and most men don't have the balls to say it was their fault, even if it was. It's much easier to blame someone else!
Hardy har har...
This... my STBXH did this same thing not a month ago, I panicked at first that everyone believed him but it ended up coming to nothing. The truth will prevail! And anyone who believes those lying pieces of crap isn't worth having around anyway.
This... my STBXH did this same thing not a month ago, I panicked at first that everyone believed him but it ended up coming to nothing. The truth will prevail! And anyone who believes those lying pieces of crap isn't worth having around anyway.
My XH spread the rumor that I was paranoid schizophrenic amd repeatedly refused help, when in reality I left because he was an abusive douchenozzle. The truth has definitely come out, amd the few who believed him weren't worth my time anyway.
Remember, karma is a determined vengeful b*tch with an elephantine memory. This will eventually bite your XH in the ass, and them you can sit back amd watch. Preferably with a margarita.