Maine Nesties
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Our tech team has launched updates to The Nest today. As a result of these updates, members of the Nest Community will need to change their password in order to continue participating in the community. In addition, The Nest community member's avatars will be replaced with generic default avatars. If you wish to revert to your original avatar, you will need to re-upload it via The Nest.
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Note: This only affects The Nest's community members and will not affect members on The Bump or The Knot.
Teaching a Toddler "No"
Abe used to understand the word no and he respected it. There are only a few things in the house that he can't get into; cat food and water, trash can (he likes to lick it...you can imagine how this makes me feel), and touching any part of the fireplace. This week I've been putting the trash in the bathroom with the door shut and the cat food on the counter. He still goes for the fireplace. I say no, move him to another area of the room with something esle to play with, he looks at me, laughs and goes back to the fireplace. We do this for about 5 minutes until I'm ready to break down and we go upstairs to his room.
How can I teach him no and have him think it is not a game?? He just looks at me and laughs.
Re: Teaching a Toddler "No"
That's a tough one. T is having a hard time with this. She has, in the past few days, resorted to hitting me and pulling my hair. That's a tough one for me, makes me want to cry.
I think you are on the right track with redirecting. We also say "hands off!" instead of "No". My goal is to make sure we aren't overusing "No". If she doesn't listen, she gets a firm squeeze and a more stern "HANDS OFF!"
Of course, since we don't want to encourage hitting, we can't really swat the back of her hand or whatever.
I agree with Megan - for now limiting access might be a good way to deal with it. I know you want to teach him that it is off-limits, but when it becomes frustrating for him or you, it's best to have it not be a choice at all. Before, he may have just stayed away from things because of the tone of your voice when you said No. Now he is definitely getting to the age where testing limits is a part of development. Nolan is still there.
The most important thing is consistency. What was no 5 minutes ago or yesterday or last week still needs to be a no-no. They pay attention to those things. Sly little babies. 
(My kindergarteners do it, too) And don't forget for things to be consistent between you and Seth. Joe and I are always alerting each other of rules we have set so that we are a united front. (although I'm still fighting Joe on the limiting of chocolate rule...) Anyways, I think you're doing great and doing exactly what you need to! Redirecting to another activity is awesome as well as just removing him from the scene when the whole thing just becomes too much. That's great. For Nolan, we do exactly like Megan - say no and a very quick explanation of why in terms Nolan understands - it's hot, you could get hurt "Ouch", you could bump your head (his new favorite phrase), he's even getting the word dangerous at this point so we use that, too. Someone mentioned hitting - for that we grab his hand, a very firm "No hit" (or "No throw" since he likes winging things across the room now) and I always walk away from him after he's hit me so he understands if he does that he loses my attention which is probably what he was seeking in the first place.
Anywho, bottom line - you're on the right track. Maybe just see about the baby-proofing of the fire place for the time being. That way you're not losing your mind all the time. And licking the trash can?? Where do these babies come up with this stuff??? Nolan is always doing wacko stuff. Good luck!
Like everyone else said and you have done, we try to keep off-limits stuff out of her reach as much as possible. But for things that we can't, like, say a hot fire, we say "No, that is hot" and redirect. And she gets a time-out if she doesn't listen to us - Especially for things that can hurt her. For time-outs, I usually say "I said NO!" very sternly and immediately pick her up and put her in a corner facing the wall, walk away, and count to 60 in my head. She almost always just stands there and cries. Then I go back to her and tell her calmly, "The fire is too hot" (or whatever this issue is). So far it works really well.
I like the idea of putting something around the fire - I've seen other people do that by kind of "fencing" it off.
Oh and I meant to add that I have read that one is old enough for timeout, although if you don't agree that's totally cool with me - not trying to say you don't know your kid, just trying to add that I started doing it by one because my doctor said it was the right age to start. My doctor said one minute for every year of age.
Limiting access is definitely a heart saver for you at this point for some things. When it comes to fire place and stove, although we block these things off at this point of the game Caroline will sometimes go near but she says, "HOT! NO!" We are very stern when it comes to dangerous things and we will physically remove her. We only use "no" if it's serious business so that it has more meaning. We had to change this b/c we found we were using it too much when she repeated it all of the time. Although, we're hitting that stage again when all she says is no.
Our dr also said time outs are ok, although we really don't do a time out. It's more of a redirection. Although, my kid loves sitting in a chair so she likes a time out. We just make her stand by us or sit or what not and just center herself a bit. Usually only takes 15 seconds and then she is on to the next thing.
It's a fun age, they are exploring and testing and using the trust they have in you to push limits :P
If you figure it out let me know. E is 3 and we are struggling with "no" because he thinks he is cute enough to get away with anything. He doesn't yet realize that "no" could keep him from serious danger and we're not just trying to be mean jerks by not letting him run full-boar into traffic.
Sigh.
For us there is time-out but I think Abe is too young for that and moving him away and redirecting him is good. I think persistence is the key. Even when you feel like you're going to have a breakdown!
So I was thought about this last night and realized that the biggest thing we do, after just removing things like the cat bowl so she can't get into them, is stop the activity or take stuff away from her after one warning. I thought about it because it happened in the bath - she knows she is not supposed to stand up in the bath, so, when she does, we tell her "No standing. If you stand again, bath time is over" and then she stood up again, so I immediately picked her up and said, "You stood up. Bath time is over." Same with things like throwing food. We aren't angry about it because it's not a HUGE deal, but it's not a desirable behavior, so we try to drive home the point that we aren't ending the bath because we are angry with her, we are ending the bath because she decided to stand up (so, basically, she ended the bath). I can count on one hand the number of times we have done a time out as I described in my last post, and it was for biting and running into the street.
I do put her in her room when she throws tantrums, but that started because she was having such a bad week that I felt like I was going to freaking lose it on her, so I had to get her away from me. And, amazingly her tantrums got A LOT better. For her, that really, really works well. It's like she needs to go in there to blow off steam, so that's what we do now. She throws a tantrum, I count to four, and if she doesn't calm down, I pick her up and put her in her room, and she almost always calms down really fast and starts playing. Not what you were asking, but I figured I'd throw that in there because it is a time-out and she started tantrums at around 15 months.