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Need to vent: JERKKKKK
DH's "friend" that introduced us has been dating his gf for 7 years. I have since become much better friends with her than with him. After 6.5 years, he finally let her move in with him. They are currently in Hong Kong celebrating the holidays and he met her extended family that lives there.
In July, out of the blue I get this note from him: I don't have a concrete plan of proposing at any given time, but I'm
assuming after six years that she and I will either be engaged or
broken up by the end of this year 
I did not mention this to her, but on her own she has been looking at halls, almost bought a wedding dress on sale (that I talked her out of by saying it might be bad luck), and asked me to stand up in her wedding. I think she really thought it was coming for NYE, or their 7 year anniversary, etc. They are both 32.
I wrote him: Ummmmm, I've been checking my Facebook every hour for the past 2 days in
anticipation, so you can imagine my dismay when the only relationship
status change I saw was Christine to "engaged" (Another couple he introduced)
He writes me five minutes ago: Haha, no status change in the immediate future ;-)
WTF. SEVEN years. I don't even know what to say to her when she gets back. I want to tell her to dump his a$$. I can only imagine her confusion and hurt.
Re: Need to vent: JERKKKKK
I'd ask him point blank if he has a concrete plan to EVER propose. Jeez, 7 yrs is a long time! I've been w/ DH for 7 yrs and married for 5.
That's strange. Maybe there's more behind the scenes than you know...
I wouldn't say anything to her, other than mentioning that maybe she's jumping the gun when it comes to buying a dress and reserving a hall.
It sounds like you are more upset than she is. She wasn't aware of the "engaged or broken up" thing that he told you about, so there's no reason for her to be upset. After 7 years, you likely read in to *every* holiday or special occassion as a chance for a proposal.
Her BF sounds kind of like a douche the way he sent you that note, but honestly I don't put all the blame on him. Have they ever talked about what the future holds? (Clearly she wants to get married looking at dresses, etc, but does he?) Maybe he's just slow to get on the clue bus, or maybe she is. I realize there's more to the story than what you've posted, but from what you wrote, I get the impression he doesn't have any intention of proposing to her.
Or, maybe he just didn't want to be cliche and propose at the holidays/anniversary.
I don't think you should get involved. They need to work that out for themselves. He might not be ready for marriage...while others get married in their 20s, it's totally normal for people not to get married until much later, if at all. 32 is still very young (don't say otherwise, or you'll crush me!
) and they have plenty of time to make that decision.
You may not know what the issues are in their relationship. It sounds like they might be happy if she's dreaming about a wedding. I'm sure after 7 years, they have talked about the future. It could be a sensitive subject, or maybe they have issues to work out that they'd like to keep private. It sounds like the guy was trying, as humorously as possible, to deal with the question "when are you two getting married already????!!!!" that I'm sure they hear all the time. I know that after being with my man for 10 years, married for 6 of them, we get "when are you two going to have kids already???!!!!" And after getting asked that a million times, it really bothers me. So perhaps it's like that for them.
Or maybe he's a jerk.
Either way, I'd stay out of it or risk causing trouble, or worse, getting yourself in trouble with one of them!
I wouldn't put up with it if I were her, but she must be ok with it or she wouldn't have waited this long. I would have kicked him to the curb years ago.
I had a friend like that. She started dating a guy right after college. She was starting law school, he was starting med school. After 7 years, he broke up with her because he didn't see himself married to her. THey got back together 6 months later. Moved in together. THey finally got married 11 years after their first date. THey seem happy. He's always seemed wishy-washy on her. I wish she would have married someone who appreciated her and how truly awesome she is, someone who woke up every morning and said "wow, I'm with her." but it's not my life.
One of my really, really good friends was living with a guy for 4 years - together for 6 years - and she dumped his a&$ because she was tired of waiting. He was basically a grown up child, a mama's boy and just didn't want to commit. I never, ever said anything. She came to the decision on her own and I was so proud of her for finally breaking it off. It was hard because she moved into his house and had to just start all over again but she's in a much better place now. But, I don't think it's your place to say anything. Worse case, you'll hurt her feelings and you'll ruin your relationship with her, which sounds like the better friendship anyway.
ETA: I wouldn't bring it up but don't be afraid to offer a sympathetic ear. Since he's your "friend" she may not want to say anything to you. My friend talked to me many times about wanting to leave her bf but I never told her to. Just told her she was awesome and no matter what she decided, she would be OK. I think that was more empowering than me telling her he was a jerk-off and she could do better.
Yeah, I am definitely not saying anything to her. It could only backfire on me. The guy is also a grown up child and mama's boy. Friend has sent me a couple messages from her trip saying "No news yet." Also, she never mentioned it to me that her bf's best friend from college was also going on the trip, so it wasn't JUST to meet the extended family. Her photos are just of the two of them and her family, his pictures tell a different story.
I just need to stop thinking about it, but it is really hard with her sending me wedding ideas and bridesmaid dress pictures and flowers and stuff every day. I just can't feign enthusiasm about wedding details when it may or may not ever happen.
Another friend's husband was exactly the same as this guy (mama's boy, parties all the time, etc.). He dated his gf for almost 8 years, but just couldn't seal the deal. He met my friend, left his gf, and after 18 MONTHS married my friend. Maybe this is also in the back of my mind and sparks my worry about this friend.