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Wow! Today's posts topics got me thinking...
Remarriage, going back to ex H and the like...
I am finally getting more comfortable with the idea that I am getting divorced soon (finalized in March as CA has 6 months wait) and learning to enjoy myself again...
But now, I never dreamed that my stbxh will start showing emotions again (Where the heck were they were while we were together?) I am not going back to him but I definitely trying to figure out what my boundaries are with him as far as our new different type of relationship since he is the father to our 15 months old son.
He picked us up from the airport from our Christmas vacation we had in another state(the plan was for him to pick-up his son and have him that night so I can rest) and we came home to a new flat screen TV and homemade dinner. He says the TV is for our son. He never said anything about us and focus communication with our son but does frequently point out how DS seems to be happier when we all do things together and should do this more often to affirm DS that we both love him very much. He also did some fixing around the house while we were out (they were needed for daily function).
He is working hard to make sure everything is taken care of and that home is safe for the both of us and eager to pay financial support. He has always been this nice hardworking man helping others and that never changed. He also started hugging me again when we depart. It just hurts so much how a nice man could walk away from me and not want our family.(He is not nice for pretending and not being true to everyone from the start of this relationship though) I will never understand. I just need to figure out what the boundaries are so I don't keep on feeling hurt. At the same time, I feel blessed that I am not alone with raising DS and have help when I need it. It just seems one of those things that are both equally bad and good at the same time.
I guess it is a vent and wonder if this is something that gets easier over time or harder. I imagine it going either way.
Re: Wow! Today's posts topics got me thinking...
I would be very cautious and definitely keep boundaries. It makes things very confusing for you and your child. I divorced my XH first back in 2002 and we stayed fairly close for the sake of our child during that time. Over time, that created confused feelings and we ended up getting back together. We even got remarried in 2008 and the old problems resurfaced (shocker, i know).
So I would say to you - be very very careful. Create very clear boundaries. Both being there to support your child at a birthday party, for example is safe, healthy distance. Coming over for tv and dinner is not.