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S/O NY Resolutions - "To-Do" Goals vs. "To-Be" Goals

Hi! Hope you don't mind me sharing some of my life coaching perspectives on this topic. In the resolution post I'm liking the generalized ways some are translating their to-do lists. Thinking of the "to-dos" as mottos / mantras makes them easier to think about and remind yourself of the general way you want to be living: run more, reach out to family more, read more, stress less, shop less, drink more, wake up easier, etc.

To add another layer to the discussion: What if you mined your goals to discover what type of person you want to BE more or less of?      

The problem with most people's "resolutions" are that they're so concrete and inflexible. If we fail to complete them a certain way or within a certain time period, or if something gets in the way, we quit entirely. Or our goals may just seem "meh" after a week or two, especially when life gets busy again. (I'm generalizing here - this may or may not be you.)

So instead of "doing" or "having" something, what would you like to "be"? Ask yourself "If I do this (or if I obtain this), what will I BE as a result?"

Would you like to be active? Energetic? Excited? Successful? Happy? Content? Grown-Up? Healthy? Loved? Romanced? Responsible? Creative? Free?     

For example, for a job change - why do you want it? To be stimulated? Challenged? Confident? Balanced? Sane? Appreciated?  

This way, instead of letting the to-dos or the to-haves define you as successful or not, start with some way you can already jump into being that thing you want as your end result. Poof! You're instantly successful.

If you're not appreciated at your job (or in your home), how can you get some of that and feel it ASAP? Can you play it up for yourself (channeling Stuart Smalley, LOL), or ask friends/family to tell you what your strengths are, or dedicate some time to doing something you enjoy where you get to share with others (and you may feel appreciated for your time/efforts in return)?    

Once you get that "being" going, you often find opportunities to "be" it even more, which can lead to you doing and having more of what you enjoy.

Finally, my own examples - two of the biggies I'll be working on this year are covered by the words "inspired" and "biorhythmic." When I'm inspired and surrounded by inspirational friends/material, I do awesome work and naturally accomplish things I'm proud of and fulfilled by. And if I think of myself as being "biorhythmic," I have fun playing with all the Paleo/Primal Blueprint stuff I'm reading and optimizing what I eat, how I exercise, getting rest, etc. Results have followed, so far. Much more fun to me than trying to lose 35 pounds. Again. (And hey, now it's down to 25!)  

Not sure if this will work for everyone, but I do hope it's opened up your thinking and given you some options to play with if your goals lose steam as the year progresses. Thanks for reading!

TTC since Mar. 2010; 6 IUIs 2011 = 2 CPs; BFP (conceived naturally) 12/9/11; m/c 1/7/11

Re: S/O NY Resolutions - "To-Do" Goals vs. "To-Be" Goals

  • Thanks for sharing, Diana. Good food for thought :)
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  • Diana, this post is great, thank you.  Definately good fodder for thought!
  • thanks, diana! when i wrote in my notebook, i actually did write "be more creative," "be healthier/more active," "be more organized" and then listed what i actually want to meet those "be" goals. 
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  • imagecheekywife:
    thanks, diana! when i wrote in my notebook, i actually did write "be more creative," "be healthier/more active," "be more organized" and then listed what i actually want to meet those "be" goals. 

    This is how I'm thinking about my goals, too...

     

  • I'm thinking that my 'drink more' translates into 'to be drunk more often'.  ;-)
    July 19, 2008

    My Food Blog

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  • imagestargirl0508:
    I'm thinking that my 'drink more' translates into 'to be drunk more often'.  ;-)

    LOL! Hey, if that's what makes you happy/fulfilled, you know I'm one of many here who wouldn't judge that. Wink

    TTC since Mar. 2010; 6 IUIs 2011 = 2 CPs; BFP (conceived naturally) 12/9/11; m/c 1/7/11
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