I need a pep talk. Like I need someone to pep talk me like I have never been pep talked before.
This "two years of trying, no new job" realization has been weighing so heavy on me since it popped into my mind yesterday, it is almost all I can think about.
I am totally bogged down in embarrassment at the idea of it.
I know it sounds dumb, but I kind of feel like all hope is lost. What if this is God's plan for me, and that is it. If that is true, would I feel so strongly called to more?
I don't know - I just know I feel a larger sense of failure than I ever have in my life.
I looked at Cooper last night and I just cried watching him sleep, I want his mom to be so much more than a low paid admin assistant that other people push around.
This will be the last depressing pitty party post about this, I promise.
But I don't see myself feeling better about this, and I don't see this getting better - for a long, long time.
Re: Ok, this will be it, I promise but -
I am probably not in the mental state to be pep talking, but I wanted to empathize a bit. DH has been looking for work since March 2010. That's just a hair under 2 years, and in that time has had 2 interviews. He's applied for hundreds and hundreds of jobs - 64 so far just this week, and it's Wednesday morning. These are jobs he's qualified (or over qualified) for, fits all the criteria and he could start tomorrow - and still nothing.
I guess the moral of my story is don't give up. It is, in all likelihood, not you at all. This is a horrific job market, and your stagnancy is tied to that and not a reflection on your skills, abilities or desires in any way. Keep going - Cooper will see a mom who refuses to give up, who refuses to give in and who is hell-bent on making a better life for him. That's worth it's weight in gold.
No more baby siggie pics. Boo.
Aw woman. I'm sorry you're feeling like you're in the mire.
Did I miss an update (quite likely), but did you get passed over for yet another opp at your work? If so, I'm sorry for that too.
That said... I definitely don't think dreams of more should ever die. I mean, I know sometimes you find yourself where you are content - even if you're just an admin (that's where I'm at now, and thankfully I'm fine to be such for a while). But there's also nothing wrong with wanting/knowing you have more in you for new developments down the road.
Have you tried for other opportunities outside of your workplace? Do you have a LinkedIn profile and, if so, is it current? Networking is a great way to try to get into new places, and I know a few of us are on LinkedIn and could try to network you around too.
Also, in the interim (if the economy still isn't such that viable jobs can be found), can you find an outlet for yourself that might renew Keri in other ways where the job or even home isn't meeting it? Nothing wrong with that - I know that has helped me in my own dirge of disappointments with our home situation. You could take dance classes with me...
Yeah - I am way beyond just looking around here for jobs. I am looking every which way!
It isn't so much the admin thing - it is the "admin that no one thinks deserves to be paid more or move up to the next level" issue that has me bumming.
I didn't get passed over for another promotion/move as-of-yet, but there is a situation I can see coming from a mile away with another cherry job that is opening and a total newb poised to move into it for some reason.
In the past I would have hoped for a shot at it, but let's face it - history has not shown that to be the case, so there is no point.
Spirit of Power
Eat, Drink, and be Keri
The job market just stinks right now and it has nothing to do with you. I think it's great that you aspire to a higher calling as do I, but, right now, I keep myself content knowing that to have a job right now is a pretty awesome thing in most people's eyes.
Try to focus on what you "do have" and not what you "don't have".
I would still try sending out your resume when you see a good opportunity, but don't beat yourself up if you don't get a response or it doesn't work out.
Chin up
First of all, you are awesome, and I am sorry you are struggling. I will just echo what everyone else said, the job market SUCKS right now. Even if it didn't, there is no guarantee that companies/hiring committees make the right choice.
I will say, that I think it says a ton of good things about you that you have gotten so many interviews.
I agree with the others. It's so tough right now and you're right that pay sucks and is stagnant in a lot of areas - especially for women. I did want to add a couple things...
1. Your Coop will admire you for all that you are, not what you do!
2. God may have a plan for you, but (from my totally atheist viewpoint) She also isn't putting obstacles in your way on purpose either...hang in there and you'll find your peace. I think it takes time.
3. You don't ever had to feel bad about venting about your job or frustrations here. If you're anything like most of us, you put on a happy face for work, for Coop/family, heck even for FB posts, but then that only leaves here and girlfriend chats to work out those tough moments. I'm totally okay with that!
Hugs!
Are you united with the CCOKCs?
I'm sorry K - it sucks! Sometimes life circumstances cause us to stay stuck somewhere we don't want to be. You'll find something new, I know you will - you're an awesome chic with lots of mad skills! I understand that you feel embarassed, but you shouldn't - you're out there doing the best you can every day and should take pride in that.
In January 2010 I started telling all of our friends and family that S and I were going to move to a smaller home and put kiddos on hold so I could go back to school and get my dream job - a month later S said he didn't think he wanted to be married anymore, and my world started to fall apart. 2 years later I'm still here, at this job I loathe - it blows! But I am trying to remember that I have a good paying job and can pay my bills, and this isn't going to last forever.
Hang in there, K - sending big (((HUGS)))
And ditto this for sure!
GET OUT OF YOUR COMFORT ZONE
Love you
Photo courtesy of Ann Goldenberg Photography
Spirit of Power
Eat, Drink, and be Keri
Hang in there K.
You are a great momma, and a good, smart, more-than-capable employee (who just happens to be stuck in a crap situation with a bad boss). Keep your goals in sight, but cut yourself some slack in the meantime too.
Oh, and you'd be surprised at some of the jobs my boys have thought were cool (at different ages), like the guy who gets to blow leaves off the apartment sidewalk or the airport guy who gets to drive the baggage out to the plane. DS1 was in no way impressed by me managing an int'l billing team back in the day.
PHOTOS REMOVED