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The meet-the-parents recap is inside.
Today is my first day back at work since Christmas, so I haven't been able to post this yet.
BF and I met each other's families for the first time over the holidays. BF really liked my parents and they really liked him, but he also got a firsthand taste of my mom's douchiness. There was a slight blip on Xmas morning when my brother accidentally called BF by XH's name. Whoops! He turned beet-red and apologized, and BF was cool about it. It happens. My mom must have taken that as a green light that it was OK to openly discuss how she FB stalks my XH and share everything that he's up to. In front of BF. Daggers were flying out of my eyes. I stopped her mid-sentence and said "nobody cares" and left the room. I was so embarrassed. That woman needs a hobby in the worst possible way.
Meeting BF's parents was much more awkward, if you can imagine. He's been open about his parents' various problems, but seeing them acted out in front of me was...yikes. He can tolerate his mom for no more than an hour at a time, and he tries to meet her out in public. She's probably one of the worst cases of Peter Pan syndrome I've ever seen. Plus, she sits there and picks on her own son. She couldn't wait to launch in on him within the first couple minutes of meeting me. She barely acknowledged me at first - it took going back to her place after dinner and meeting her cats for her to warm up. She showed more warmth to them than to her child. It broke my heart. She was somewhat better the next morning, but I found myself thanking God that she lived so far away and hated to travel. I could list about a hundred douchey things she said or did in the 2-3 hours I spent with her. It was so.hard to practice restraint, but I did it. The thing is, BF will one day be financially responsible for her because she literally has no savings, no insurance, no retirement. It's a sad fact of his life, but he holds no bitterness over it. He's really good at placing boundaries with her, and that's about the best thing I can say about that whole situation.
The visit with his dad/stepmom went a whole lot better. They are warm people and I enjoyed hanging out on their couch for a few hours. They also aren't without their problems (alcoholics), but they obviously love BF. He also keeps boundaries with his dad, but he was obviously more relaxed around him. He doesn't consider either his mom's house or his dad's house his home though, which is so sad. You'd never know BF came from such a screwed-up home life. He's just so open, warm, and stable. He credits his Poppy with that, plus some time spent on a therapist's couch. He's definitely taken the "glass-half-full" approach to his life, and is out to create his own happiness instead of wallowing in self-pity. He's awesome.
So, that's it. Challenges to come I'm sure (*cough* his mom *cough*), but I've got his back.
Re: The meet-the-parents recap is inside.
Surprisingly, not really. We had lots of goof-off time together and our own hotel room, which helped. It wasn't the ideal vacation, but we made the most of it.
Don't want to post-and-run, but I'm off to a meeting and then to my hairologist.
Having your own hotel room is key. It really makes such a difference. As does drinking a bottle of wine before meeting up with them.
Does his mother count on him now for money?
lol
Meeting was cancelled! Sweeeeet.
He does not send her money, nor does she ask for it. She has a job that pays her bills, and if she wants to go out on the town she picks up a manfriend. When we exchanged gifts with her, she made some dig about how she wanted an iPad. I mentally ute-punched her. In the car I asked BF if he would buy his mom an iPad and his response was Pfffft, no. He's generous with her in that he'll build her a basic computer or set up her wireless network, but he's not going to drop money on gifting her with luxury things. He fully expects her to take care of herself, but I also know that when the day comes that she can't work anymore, he'll make sure she's in a decent retirement home. Heh.
Dupe. My computer is being an azzhole today.
To be perfectly honest, I don't think she'll reach an advanced age. But, even if she does, BF has the option of purchasing a LTC policy for her through his benefits package. I've encouraged him to go ahead and get that started since it only gets more expensive the older she gets.
Believe me, we've had some pretty long talks about her (from a practical angle). He's adamant that she will never live with him. He's already made that mistake once and he doesn't plan on making it again. If his attitude was different (like Crabby's XH), things would be very different between us. He's got a firm handle on his less-than-ideal situation. I really admire him for it - it can't be easy.