Trouble in Paradise
EastCoastBride
member
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Note: This only affects The Nest's community members and will not affect members on The Bump or The Knot.
Our tech team has launched updates to The Nest today. As a result of these updates, members of the Nest Community will need to change their password in order to continue participating in the community. In addition, The Nest community member's avatars will be replaced with generic default avatars. If you wish to revert to your original avatar, you will need to re-upload it via The Nest.
If you have questions about this, please email help@theknot.com.
Thank you.
Note: This only affects The Nest's community members and will not affect members on The Bump or The Knot.
@ I really don't get people sometimes...
I've said my piece to this poster, but seriously..... WHY IS THIS A QUESTION!?!?!?!
Just read her 2 paragraph #4. That alone... and she thinks she should just suck it up and let these people (or ANY of DH's relatives for that matter) take care of her kids??
http://community.thebump.com/cs/ks/forums/thread/61893218.aspx
I see these kinds of post a fair amount and I just don't get it. "I don't want to hurt their feelings, so should I put my child into a situation I'm not comfortable with?".
"Beer is living proof that God loves us and wants us to be happy."
~Benjamin Franklin
~Benjamin Franklin
DS dx with celiac disease 5/28/10
Re: @ I really don't get people sometimes...
I was just rolling my eyes until I got to the point where her husband doesn't just see this as free babysitting, but thinks she should PAY these people for child care. What is WRONG with people?! I can see not wanting to insult relatives, but in the privacy of her own home, why is she not saying "DH, you're out of your mind if you think I'm going to pay our hard-earned money for people I don't trust to try to raise my kid in a way I don't like. Hell no."?!
I will never, ever understand marrying a man with whom you don't feel comfortable speaking your mind.
Yeah no. That is not something to worry about hurting feelings. If you don't want your kid in that type of environment then don't do it. It doesn't seem worth it to me. Also, you can just say that you've made other arrangements. They are not required to be privy to your childcare or child rearing activities (the family). All you have to do is let them know that you've got it covered. Thank them for their offer and move on.
This too. Boggles the mind!
There is no way I would let someone I didn't trust take care of my kids. Especially if there was a very real possibility of someone raising them differently. Can you imagine what a PITA it would be if 5 days out of the week they're running wild and on the weekends you're trying to reign them in? The fact that she doesn't have a car compounds it, what if they need to get help somewhere?
This chick needs to stand up to her H and tell him no. "Honey, I know your family wants to help, but I would really be more comfortable if we made other arrangements." Why are the words hard for some people?
One last thing... #4? Where the ILs think it's disrespectful for the mom to decide if her kids get spanked? Wtf?
Do not know how she does not say "Anyone that hurts one hair on my child's head will get a black eye the first time, and after the second time, they will get a gravestone." And then promptly never ever let such relatives, almost all of them, to have even supervised visitation.
Check us out
This sort of thing is why The Kuus is against tolerance of cultural difference. Other cultures are stupid. There, I said it.
Wait... OP isn't going to need any sort of daycare until she finds a job sometime after she starts looking for one sometime after her second child is born sometime after this summer?
Let people assume whatever they want and enroll them in daycare when / if this problem ever actually materializes. This is the vaporware of problems.
I kind of think the same thing every time someone posts about how they or their husband is shipping tons of money to their parents because "that's how it's done in their culture". Dude, the economy sucks and almost everyone has had the option for a retirement plan at some point in their lives. Or, you know, a bank account. Lack of planning is not cultural.
Actually, it is cultural. Some cultures just do it that way, with the parents expecting that their kids will work to support themselves, their own kids, and the parents. Those cultures are all stupid.
~Benjamin Franklin
DS dx with celiac disease 5/28/10
Hrm. I guess Appalachian is a culture then.
So each generation is going broke paying for the elder generation? This is what bothers me. You know how this ends, ffs! Everyone is broke and angry!
FYI: I tried to google a jpg about scary change to put here and be funny. But for some reason I got this and it needs to be seen:
*
~Benjamin Franklin
DS dx with celiac disease 5/28/10
Team. Kuus.
~Benjamin Franklin
DS dx with celiac disease 5/28/10
And this is why I love Kuus. ITA.
I'd sure like to know which culture her H's family is from, did anyone else catch the laundry list of what's apparently totally acceptable in this mystery culture?