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Online Dating WWYD
And so continues my journey with online dating. Now I have a WWSOD? I have been getting messages/winks from several people who don't have a pic. One guy sounded nice/intriguing so I emailed him asking if he had any pics. He said not for five years. Ummm, that just seemed odd to me so I didn't message him back.
I just got a wink from another guy without a pic so I sent him a message asking if he had a pic (since I liked his profile). It seems strange that so many people don't have photos. And the strangest part is both people who have contacted me who don't have a photo live over three hours from me. It makes it even less appealing to email someone who I don't really even have an opportunity to meet with face to face, who doesn't have a photo, ya know?
What says SO? Is this generally a bad sign? I feel like I am not very good at this whole online dating process.
Re: Online Dating WWYD
Why would anyone be on a dating site and not have their photo posted? I would say to keep looking, that might be a light red flag! I was in a two-year relationship where the drive was 1.5 hours and we saw each other every weekend, and now I despise quick weekend trips altogether, it gets old really fast!! You are beautiful and have so much to offer, you will have no problem finding someone very attractive and close to where you live!
Good luck...I haven't had the courage to try the online thing yet!!
I generally limit talking to people to an hour away. I think it's just too much hassle to talk to someone 3 hours away but I might be in the minority on this.
Personally, I'd be wary of men without pics looking to date far from home--makes me think they're living in your area and don't want their wives finding them online so they say they're from somewhere else. I know of men who have posted that they live in Cali as a front but really live in NJ and looking for some side action.
With respect to pics, yes, it's strange that someone doesn't have any recent ones. Granted the pics I posted are from a while ago (1-2 years) but that was because I didn't take many pics during my unhappy marriage and the last time I took pics was when I was happy. But 5 years? People can look a LOT different in 5 years and how has he been so socially inept to manage not to take a pic in that long? No good!
This isn't what you asked but I think it's weird when people don't post pics and I think it's even weirder when they say it's because they're a (insert some profession here) and don't want their (clients, patients, students) to see them on an online dating site. Someone who cares that much about what others think of them or have some inflated ego to think that people actually care that they're online dating isn't someone I'd get along with.
Kelly Monaghan's 5K - 5/15/11 - 3rd Place in AG
Walk the Talk 5K - 5/18/11 - 31:12 PR
Ridley Run 3.1 - 4/14/12 - 1st race of the year, 32:45
I think sometimes there are valid reasons why someone doesn't post a photo (doctor, lawyer, politician, etc). However, if they can't produce a photo that's less than a couple years old, I would see that as a red flag.
I also limited my search to those an hour away or less. I think it would be too hard seeing each other often if you had to drive longer than that distance.
~Benjamin Franklin
DS dx with celiac disease 5/28/10
I'm too lazy to type it out, but I totally agree w/ MCC - especially w/ the things I put in bold.
I think 3 hours away is too far for dating, and I live in a big metro area where driving an hour to see a friend is pretty normal.
I still wouldn't date someone 3 hours away.
As usual my SO gals make so much sense. There isn't any point in communicating with someone that far away, especially given my circumstances with DS. It would be too difficult to do long distance.
Also, I agree that someone who doesn't post a pic, whatever the reason may be, isn't the best sign.
Online dating when someone lives close by is difficult enough, because, in my experience, it can be a HUGE letdown when you actually meet someone face to face. Therefore it makes no sense to invest time in someone that it would take awhile to coordinate meeting up with, because they live far away. I had this happen one time with a guy who lives 1.5 hours from me. We got along pretty well and he was intelligent and interesting to talk to. However, when I finally met him a couple of weeks later, face to face, I literally wanted to run out of the restaurant. It was so incredibly awkward to have to make it through the date and feel like I owed it to him to go for a drink afterwards since he'd traveled some distance and was staying overnight in a hotel. Ugh!
No photo - no way. Move on. I also wouldn't want to travel further than an hour. That would be way too hard to actually develop a relationship with that much distance and having a DS who is with you most of the time.
This is what I was going to say!! Don't waste your time with those at all! That's just weird to me...and who doesn't have their picture taken in 5 years??!! At least those douchey guys that take their picture in the bathroom have a picture up...i mean, seriously (but ew-those guys skeeve me out)
I'm sorry you're not having luck with online dating. My guess is that it is your area...I know some areas are better than others.
Haha I agree with EVERYONE pp's have said, hell to the no!
and just curious, but what was it exactly that made you want to bail? I did this one, for me it was the guy's voice. lol and then some other things...
My area is very small so it does make things difficult dating wise. Online or IRL.
Here are my thoughts.
1. I wouldn't see not having a photo as a red flag. If you are interested in the guy with a 5 year old photo, email back and say, "Well send one of those!" Bf HATES more than anything being in photos. The three he posted online were 3-4 years old. One was at such a distance you couldn't really see him that well. The other two, people caught him off guard. Even a 5 year old pic you get an idea of what he looks like.
2. The three hour away thing would be more of an issue for me, especially with a kid. I know that because of work, school and my son sometimes I have 2 hours free to grab coffee (bf and I have come to call those quick dates "intermission"). If someone lived too far, I could not make that work with all the other things I have going on.
Well, I was not physically attracted to him. At all. He also seemed to have very different viewpoints than me. I had seen two pictures of him and they looked much different than what he actually looked like. He also had a very strange posture, like he kind of was hunched over almost. Quite creepy. My friend kept referring to him as "Quasimoto".
Ditto.
I have dated a few cowboys but not rodeo ones. Honestly, the rodeo lifestyle is NOT conducive to a relationship. At all. I watch my cousin and little brother and think "how can they live like that". They're in Utah one day and then drive all night to hit a night rodeo in Idaho. They literally are all over the country. And the other problem is that they are kind of like pro athletes in the amount of attention they get from women. Women see a cowboy hat and a belt buckle and will throw themselves at them. I cannot imagine that it is very easy for them to remain faithful.
Oh yes. And sometimes I listen to "Cowboy Take Me Away" by the Dixie Chicks. I seriously could see myself settling down with a cowboy, since that's the kind of lifestyle I would want because it's how I was brought up. Raising my family in the country, with lots of responsibilities and chores to do to keep them occupied and out of trouble. I want P to grow up riding horses and understanding the outdoors.
BUT....I would not want a rodeo cowboy. Maybe a retired one though!
I would be kind of scared to post a photo on a dating site, what if a co worker or someone I know was also on the site?
But then again, I would have a photo hand per request.
to me, no pic = married