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Give me your definition
A few days ago I asked WG half joking (half not joking) why she didnt end things with me sooner once it was clear we werent going in the same direction in regards to having kids. She laughed and told me it was because I did such a good job of wooing her in the beginning. Clearly I have a jaded perspective on that term due to my cheating ex, because I immediatley pictured some guy behaving in a certain manner or saying all the things a woman wants to hear in order to sleep with her.
You hear the term wooing when salespeople are wooing clients or politicians are wooing voters.
What comes to mind when you hear that term? Do you like that term? Hate that term? Anyone care to admit they thought they were being wooed but in reality there was a sleazy agenda behind it?
Also do you want to be wooed when starting to date someone?
Re: Give me your definition
I agree with this totally. I don't think sleazy at all. I think that most girls want to be wooed. I do think that it can be a fine line between being wooed and being stalked (for lack of a better term) and a guy needs to be able to realize when a girl clearly isn't wanting to be wooed by him.
You asked about it having a hidden agenda. I think most females can tell when the wooing is heart felt or meant to just be able to get in her pants!
I should also add that there were quite a few woman who had set their sights on my XH and did what it took to make them theirs. This I believe is more of preying than wooing.
Agree to both counts! Women can tell when you're being sincere and when you're just being a douche, unless they're just really needy/desperate then they'd fall for anything.
My friend asked D when they first met what his intentions were with me (half-jokingly) and he said he planned to woo me... she approved.
So did I for the record...
I consider the bolded a cheesy and lazy attempt to do what men assume all women want.
I consider the underlined to be much more sincere and meaningful.
If both count as "wooing," fine, but I much prefer the latter and would drop a guy who only does the former..
Also agree with the above.
I don't really have negative vibes attached to wooing. Schmoozing is more of what I would consider negative and deceptive.
In my experience the guys that have a hidden agenda don't usually go out of their way to impress me. I am sure guys are out there that do it, I just haven't experienced it.
I do want to be wooed when I am first dating someone but I also don't want it to be to the point that they aren't acting like they would act toward me normally. It feels fake and cheap. If someone buys me flowers in the first month, I want them to do stuff like that after years of dating. In a strong,successful relationship I don't think the wooing has to end.
I think of wooing in the romance department, and if it seems over-the-top and forced, it makes me want to vom. I guess I am not a romantic. I don't swoon over those grand gestures.
I could also see it being used in the career department, I guess. I hope I am in a position, in that case, that someone wants to woo me someday!
I can't think of a better term for "wooing". Though there is a big difference when it comes from a player vs. a sincere person. When coming from a player, the term "wooing" does not come to mind but more rather manipulative or persuading with sweet talk and cheezy guesters so the guy can get something out of it as if it was a deal. More of a "big flirt" comes to mind.
If a guy is not interested in taking the time to show interest in me, then I don't feel like the guy is worth pursuing. At the same time, If a guy does not respect me is also a guy not worth prsuring.
I hate to admit, I was a messed up person in the mind in the past because of abuse and I was in a fog what love meant and what the healthy boundries of human love and respect that I would have fallen for a player. I am so glad I am not that same person anymore. I do believe we attract people alike our mental state.