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2 part post: 4 year old dance and building confidence in little girls
I've having a bit of a dilemma. Maya started Just For Kix in August. She loooooves going to dance class and participates well. Parents watch what they learn at the end of class and I see her knowing the steps and doing a good job. Performances are another thing. Her first was at a youth football game and she started crying and didn't even go on the field. Her next one was at a JV basketball game. She went on the floor, did a couple steps, but otherwise just stood there and broke down in tears when it was over. At her winter show, she reluctantly went on the floor, but just stood there through the whole thing. We had a discussion after that and she said she likes dance, but doesn't like performances because she gets too nervous (obviously!) She said she wanted to go back to gymnastics but wants to stay in dance until we get her into a class.
Her next dance performance is next month and it's at halftime of an Iowa Energy game. She says she wants to do it. If her prior performances have been overwhelming, I know this will be as well. Do I go ahead and give her the chance? I don't like letting her teacher and her class down by her just standing there or possibly not even taking the floor. I appreciate your thoughts on this!
So to piggy back this, I want to help her build some confidence. She is not at all interested in things like soccer. She doesn't have a competitive bone in her body and I think it would overwhelm her. We have talked about martial arts, but she shows no interest in trying. We plan to get her back into gymnastics. We praise and encourage her a lot. She's very confident and outgoing in front of people she knows well. How can I help her with this? Especially when she's a lot like her momma 
TIA!
Re: 2 part post: 4 year old dance and building confidence in little girls
I'd be terrified too to go dance in front of hundreds of people at an Iowa Energy game! That said, I'd at least give her the chance- she might surprise you! I'd just keep doing what you're doing. Give her love and encouragement. She'll get the courage when she's ready
Goodluck!
At that age I think it is pretty common for some kids to just stand and not actually perform during the performance. There are just so many distractions during a performance that they aren't used to. So many people to look at and check out makes it difficult to focus on the task at hand. That said, if she is getting upset and crying I would probably not push her to perform anymore.
I think it is just a part of her personality and not necessarily something to worry about. Ella is a performer all the way but she is extroverted and loves the spotlight. I really think its just as simple as a personality difference rather than a confidence issue. By participating in activities like dance she is building skills and learning to be confident through those lessons. Performing in front of an audience is not a necessary component of confidence building. I'd just let her do what she enjoys and if she prefers not to perform I'm sure you could let her teacher know that and she could still learn the routines but not be a part of the actual performance. Once she gets a bit older you can always revisit performing and see if it is something she is interested in.
I don't have any good advice, but wanted to let you know you/she aren't alone. G also is really good in small groups, especially people she knows, but apparently hates the limelight. She freaked out before her preschool program, and then just stood there motionless the entire time. She also had a full out panic attack (thought she was going to hyperventilate) before being a flower girl. poor things! i don't really know how to deal with it b/c i am not really like that myself. not that i love being in front of crowds, but it hasn't ever really bothered me. i do think it is just kind of a personality thing. I think maya is like gretta in that they aren't really introverted (G will talk your ear off), they just don't like strangers staring at them. i can't really blame them.
since maya is smart and getting older, i think i'd just leave this decision up to her. she can cont to take dance if she wants, but if it scares her, just move to more passive activities. in retrospect i'm kinda glad dance didn't work for us out here and she ended up in gymnastics, b/c like maya, she LOVES that, and wouldn't have liked the dance performances.
Thanks ladies!
I agree that it's completely normal for her age and I was actually a bit surprised to see that she was the only girl in her class that just stood there. I expected there to be a few. We definitely still tell her we're proud of her, shower her with flowers afterwards, etc.
I really feel like Maya is more self-aware than most kids her age. I will just continue to let her take the lead. Thanks again!
I was thinking of something similar to this... Maybe give her the opportunity to perform in front of friends & family at a smaller gathering..? Or videotape her performing at home or class and then have a little "viewing party" with you & DH, so she can watch herself and feel good about her performance? Good luck!
This is one of her favorite things! She requests that we do this often, especially when Grandma is visiting. She gets behind the Rosebud Cottage and we introduce her, flash lights, clap, and all that jazz. She loves it! Only at home though. Not on a big stage with lots of strangers watching